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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DD meet her friends in the park at 8am

34 replies

asktheaudience · 06/05/2010 21:07

Their 1st 2 lessons are cancelled tomorrow, and DD (Year 8 - 12 & 13yos) has arranged to meet friends at 7.45 and spend 2 hours in the park "chatting".

We said no. DD is throwing a monumental tantrum and we are officially the most unreasonable parents in the universe.

Would you let a 12/13yo do this?

OP posts:
catinboots · 06/05/2010 21:09

YANBU

louii · 06/05/2010 21:10

Depends where park is? Do you normally let her go places alone with her friends?

chitchat07 · 06/05/2010 21:12

Why did you say no? Any particular reason? Do you think they're going to get into mischief? I can't see why it's such a problem, it's daytime, time limited as they all have to be at school afterwards, and you pretty much know who will be there.

Unless there's a good reason for saying no I think YABabitU.

cloelia · 06/05/2010 21:19

actually yes I would, what harm could there be?Provided they promise to get to school on time? I would let them do it (but do sympathise if you cannot or will not back down) PS I have a year 7 and year 9 DD

Original poster
asktheaudience · 06/05/2010 21:21

She gets the bus to school, which is close to the park. Park is very big with lots of footpaths, bushes, nooks and crannies. It's ok when it's busy (after school in daylight for an hour, no problem) but not when it's early and almost deserted.

And she is on probation for some dodgy behaviour at the weekend. We would have let her meet them at 9 when there are more people about, but not tomorrow.

OP posts:
mememe30 · 06/05/2010 21:24

I can understand if it is to do with a punishment but otherwise why not. If there is a group of them what is the problem?

jellybeans · 06/05/2010 21:45

I would let mine.

AgentProvocateur · 06/05/2010 21:49

Can't see what the problem is, TBH. I would let mine.

herbietea · 06/05/2010 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MaureenMLove · 06/05/2010 21:51

I would let mine too. Sounds like they are just taking advantage of having a late start to school and fancy using that time to have a meet and a chat. Are the nooks and crannies a problem to you? What do you think they will do?

ByTheSea · 06/05/2010 21:52

I wouldn't have a problem with it but I guess it depends on what the dodgy behaviour was.

Original poster
asktheaudience · 06/05/2010 22:11

They say they only want to chat, that's not the problem, I don't think they'll get up to mischief.

But they might not all turn up, and we don't like the idea of her hanging around on her own (with unsavoury types who are known to loiter in the park).

Behaviour was awful. We'd let her go (but later) if that hadn't happened.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 06/05/2010 22:13

This just seems like such a silly thing to do before school.

I would say no.

She can take advantage of the extra time by catching up on some reading, cleaning her bedroom, or other chores I see fit to give her

DSM · 06/05/2010 22:14

If there are unsavoury types about a dodgy park, I wouldn't let her go there at 8am or 9am.

Portofino · 06/05/2010 22:17

Aren't teenager's genetically programmed to want to stay in bed as long as possible? I would wondering what they were up to....

But I was quite a BAD teenager who had a lot to rebel against.....

drinkyourmilk · 06/05/2010 22:20

can the other girls come round to you and have a late breakfast together?

Original poster
asktheaudience · 06/05/2010 22:21

Anyfucker My thoughts exactly. Though given the histronics tonight she could be asleep until 9 if I turn off her alarm

During the day the park is fine, it's really lovely place in a smart part of town, but creepy when empty.

OP posts:
maryz · 06/05/2010 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
asktheaudience · 06/05/2010 22:44

They can arrive late and leave early if classes are cancelled in advance and parents have given consent.

OP posts:
porcamiseria · 07/05/2010 09:22

yabu, very

seeker · 07/05/2010 09:30

If it's top do with grounding then you areNBU. If not, then yes you are - it's 8 in the morning not the middle of the night!

KatieLunn · 07/05/2010 10:33

Yabu. But understand you can't back down.

minipie · 07/05/2010 10:42

I'd be suspicious. I'm sure at that age I'd have jumped at the chance for some more hours in bed... not planned a meet up in the park.

Are you sure they're not planning to meet someone else?

I like drinkyourmilk's suggestion of them all coming and chatting in your living room instead.

seeker · 07/05/2010 11:01

My dd sometimes gets the early bus so she can meet friends at the bus station. They go to tesco any buy a packet of Value Bourbon biscuits, eat them and then go to school. Can't see the harm!

ChippingIn · 07/05/2010 14:39

She's a teenager, it's 8 in the morning - I really can't see the problem. If you are worried she will end up there alone, can't you take her and make sure a couple of others are there already or pick them up en route....?

BTW - whatever her 'dodgy' behaviour was, unless you have grounded her, it's a bit unfair not letting her do things because of it (unless her behaviour was well beyond the normal teen crap).

minipie - the 'prefering to stay in bed' didn't kick in with me until I had the ways and means of being out most of the night, until then I was an early bird.