To think that MIL is too involved??? Sorry its a bit long.....

[Gem021]

Me and my partner live at hes mum and dads and have done since dd 8 1/2 months was born, its only while we save up for a place of our own and we should be moving out soon but i feel as though my mil is a bit too involved i love her to pieces but i get a bit upset when shes in as dd will crawl past me and go straight to her and yesterday she cried when nanny left the room even though i was sitting with her

She tells people about her development when im there like she will say it as if shes the mother i dont think she means to upset me but it does and i cant say anything to my partner because he will take it the wrong way and just think im being nasty but im not.

To make it worse when my SIL comes round when dd crawls to nanny she will say awww your such a nannys girl as if to rub it in, its really getting me down and i just cant wait to move out so we can have our own space and dd will have 2 parents not 4!! I know they are excited as she is the 1st grandchild but i just feel its a bit too much, maybe im just being silly??? Any advice would be great and maybe put my mind at rest a bit. xxx

I lived at my ex PILs for only 6 weeks when we were waiting to exchange on our first house. DD was about 3, and MIL used to go into her first if she woke in the night. I'm sure she just thought she was doing me a favour but it used to drive me CRAZY so no, YABU. But, you may BU to mention it to her, since it is unlikely that she is doing it on purpose, and she is doing you a favour by having you live there.

So if I were you I would just suck t up for the time being, rant on here about it by all means, and look forward to the day you can be free of her!

tbh I think that if you're living with her then it's inevitable that she will be more involved than she would otherwise and that your dd will have a closer relationship with her than she would if she just came round once a week.

I don't think that yabu for being a bit upset about it, but I do think that as parents we need to accept that our dc will develop close relationships with who they want to develop relationships with iyswim, and that just because she loves your mil doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

(and just think, MIL will miss DD so much when you move out you will have a willing babysitter on tap AND your own space!

Tbh, it doesn't sound like she's doing anything particularly awful or interfering - boasting about her grandchild's achievements isn't too bad is it? You boast away too!

My dd used to love, love, love my DP and wail if he left the room. She virtually ignored me . Went on for months, and it used to get me down. But she moved onto a new phase and now I am the bestest again!!! DP gets a bit peeved cos he isn't Numero uno.

Kids are funny, they will change their allegiances. And it won't be long til you have your own place I hope. Go out and get away just the two/three of you (your DP and your dd I mean) as much as you can. Even if just to the park. Create your own space.

Your MIL sounds ok though.

I really feel for you because I can imagine I would feel exactly the same way as you do. The thing is your MIl isn't doing anything wrong -she's maybe a little insensitive, but is a loving granny. Just remember that this situation is temporary. You WILL get your own place and you will no longer feel your DD has 4 parents. I think that things we accept easily from our own parents Do irritate if they come from IL. While you are living in her house it is natural that she will be closer to your DD and I don't think you can say anything without hurting her feelings and making her edgy about her interraction with your DD in her own home. Just concentrate on saving up and moving out!

Aww, I'd be sad too. Agree with the others that there's not much you can do about it in your particular situation and that it's no ones fault and that your mil is lovely but I do understand and would feel the same way. Your baby does love you though, honestly.

this is natural to happen when living together, just try to be patient and look forward to moving out soon. mil does not sound too bad, its just the close proximity makes people get on each others nerves in these kind of ways