To expect a school to behave with sensitivity discretion?

[Vallhala]

This evening my teenaged DD reeived a text from a friend from her former school. The girl said she didn't know what to do, was suicidal, taking drugs and that she was an unwanted mistake, that she "shouldn't be here". I don't know the girl or her parents but I am aware via DD that the girl has had some problems of this nature in the past.

It was 5pm, DD was seriously worried for the girl, so all I could think of doing was calling the school and speaking to an available member of staff to alert them to the girl's plight and leave the matter in their hands, knowing that the school are already aware of and dealing with problems experienced and expressed by the girl in the recent past (so this wasn't imho a one-off, teenage stroppy cry-wolf IYSWIM).

My DD has just received another text from the girl. Apparently the teacher I'd spoken to has rung the girl's house and finding that her father was away on a trip told the girl that he'd had reports from me, mentioning me by name, saying that she was threatening suicide and so on. The girl's denied it and said that she was forwardng someone else's message to DD, which is of course possible but sounds unlikely.

I have no issue with being named, though I feel for DD as a result, but surely a teacher should treat a report of this kind with more tact, sensitivity and discretion, not for my sake but for the welfare of the child?

that was handled so very badly.

not only will this girl now feel she cannot trust anyone but she will now have her feelings of worthlesness compunded by the humiliation of her school friends knowing how she feels.
I would be visiting the head firrst thing tomorrow to make a complaint

I'll be phoning the Head, as I can't visit her owing to having moved a long way from the school. Gigantaur, your thoughts are mine exactly but I wondered if I was being over-anxious and unreasonable about the teacher's approach.

Granted, as he and I agreed, there was a limit to what he could do there and then as the girl wasn't on the premises but I was expecting the school to monitor/support the girl or even call in other help if they had knowledge which made them believe that she was at genuine risk of harming herself tonight, not call her about it in the way that he did.

Good Lord - do these people have no common sense?

I agree wholeheartedly with Gigantaur, I would be knocking on the head's door tomorrow with some serious temper issues. If this girl was feeling so low, knowing that her private business was being spread around town (not by you!) in such a careless manner would not be helpful. It could have, in fact, pushed her over the edge. If this teacher was so offhand about sharing your name and concerns, when you acted discreetly and sensibly, then who knows who else it got blathered around to.

And your DD and her friend will probably have lost the trust in their relationship.

Sorry, getting a bit ranty, am feeling rather angry...

Apologies for x-post. Browser crashed halfway through typing and didn't bother to check if you had replied! Silly me...

How else would the teacher have explained his phoning a pupil at home to discuss her suicidal tendencies, if not by saying he'd been informed?

He may not have said your name nut the girl would surely put 2 and 2 together

Is this the same girl who was left home alone with a 22 yo lodger? (apologies if I have made a mistake and it was a different poster)

No not the same girl, but yes the same poster. It seems that my DD attracts people in difficulty!

And yes, it occurred to me that the girl may have put 2 and 2 together though going on experience I suspect that my DD wasn't the only one to receive her texts this afternoon.

As I said, my name's been mentioned but that's not an issue, I'm an adult and can handle that. It's the fact that the teacher approached it in the way that he did for the girl's sake that made me a bit