to think that dd should play with girls her own age?

[SlartyBartFast]

we took dd to playground briefly, she's 10, the other evening. an couple of older girls, aged 12, and a boy, were playing there, they offered to bring her home as we wanted to go. would be half an hour later.
i agreed,
however later did tell dd, dont make a habit of this.
now she is sayign can jane take her to the park again.
i have said no, not unless dd's 12 year old sister goes too.
i dont like the thought of dd friendly with girls 2 years older, nor do i like the idea of 12 year olds wanting to be friends with 10 year olds??

aibu

I have been friends with all ages from very young.

YABU - if they are all being friendly then why would you want to interfere? I have always had friends of varying ages.

2 years at this age is not big, this could almost be one school year ahead. My dc play/hang out with kids 2 years either side regularly.

what does her sister think?

if my dd was out with her sisters friends there would be war!!

What is the problem? Children have different interests and vary in whether they are young or old for their ages - I think it's good if they can be friends over a range of ages.
(for the record the vast majority of my DD's friends are younger than she is - she is quite young for her age and has more in common with slightly younger people - she isn't leading them astray into awful older age group activities - she is just socialising as a friend)

there are 3 school years between them.

her sister doesnt particularly want to go, so i said, no, not without your sister.

good point pogleswood.

YABU. A lot of my friends were 10 and 11 when I was 12, because I quite simply wans't very mature. We did 10 and 11 year old things, not 12 year old things

thanks for words of reassurance

YABU - when I was a child my "home" friends who lived in the same neighbourhood were aged from a year or so older than me to about 3 years younger. Never seemed odd at all.

yes,. owns up to having an older friend, in a very small neighbour

YABU She needs to learn to mix with people of all ages, that way when she gets out into the work force she will have far better social skills than kids who are only allowed to play with kids their own age.

The little 5 year olds in our street are disappointed my 12 year old doesn't come round and play so much now she has less time since starting secondary.
Is it odd for a 12yr old to play with a 5 year old too?

Slarty, I think you've been reassured here, but just to add that my DD1's best friend is 2 years older than her (6 and 8 year olds). DD1 is my oldest child and quite mature where the other girl is the youngest of her family after a bit of a gap (6 years) so is young for her age.

Nice fjords, BTW

Slarty - just to add - I had an older friend when I was a teenager (I was 15 she was 25) and I can still feel the sting from when my Mum said 'I don't understand why she wants to be friends with you, you are only 15'. I know my Mum meant well and that she was probably worried I'd be 'led astray' or some such shite, but it just made me feel like I wasn't worthy of being her friend - it hurt that my Mum couldn't see me as a person and value that - only the number of birthdays I'd had....

I hope that makes sense!

Lots of children play with other children a few years older or younger... it's normal

I think it's more strange that you would be happy for a 12 year old to be responsible for bringing your child home. Would you allow a child of 12 to babysit for your child? Could they keep your child safe if a "stranger" approached your child. Maybe I'm just a London parent and over cautious.

YABVVVVVVU and precious tbh, 2 year age gap! By the way you are speaking sounds like a 10 year one to me. When I was little I was friends with children of all ages, as long as they are good kids who are respectful thats all that matters. You need to let go a bit and allow your dd to make her own decisions about her friends. I would not have though allowed them to take her home from the park unless I knew them well.

there you go then pioppop, although i allowed her to bring her home the stranger approaching is another elemant.

admits to being precious, whats the term for the baby of the family?

i think it's ok for children to play with people 2 or 3 or more years older than themselves,, but perhaps you have some other concerns about this arrangement - do you think the girls are doing things that aren't appropriate for your dd?

if they seem like nice kids and you don't have any particular worries about it, i think it is fine and will probably pass as quickly as it has begun tbh

that's the thing kooks
it is a bit unknown

my youngest dd 14 has friends ranging from 11 up to 15 was the same with the eldest there all great kids and never have any problems with them I don't think 2 years is much of a difference in age really.