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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask my mother-in-law to put some clothes on?

55 replies

smeeglemum · 05/05/2010 17:11

Every time we stay with my mother-in-law she invariably ends up parading about starkers at some point.. now you can't exactly call me a prude but she's got a bush bigger than Sherwood Forest and the nudity is just getting ridiculous.

The other day DD and I had just finished our coco pops when granny proceeded to just get her kit off there and then to put something else on out of the dryer- sorry but we were eating breakfast! then she sits there with her enormous norks hanging out of her dressing gown at lunch (she still hadn't got changed by this point)

To top it all off she had a poo whilst talking to me from the toilet.. I even heard the plop.

It's just getting ridiculous - and I really want to just tell her to put some God damn clothes on as no one wants to see her naked - but she's my mother-in-law so I need to tread carefully - anyone got any suggestions?!

OP posts:
foureleven · 05/05/2010 18:53

Im sorry, but I actually dont think this is that bad...

I would be embarrassed if I had an MIL to do this and I am concerned about a stray pube ending up on your toast... But really, neckedness is cool. I wish I was so laid back!

Families are weird, very very weird but I think its a good message for your DD about body confidence, free the fanjo I say!!!!

Original poster
smeeglemum · 05/05/2010 19:18

am actually wetting myself - may just have to get painting my sunglasses or stripping..

she's become a bit of a tourist attraction as is regularly found pruning the laurels in the buff in full view of the road...

shame she isn't so good at pruning her nether regions

OP posts:
Firawla · 05/05/2010 19:20

this thread is hilarious! i can't believe your mil does that, it is crazy, and the lady with the nanny too.. but personally i would have to say mil must wear clothes if we visit, otherwise we will have to meet up outside the home so that she can't go nude, as i wouldn't be comfortable with it either for myself or my dc

wukter · 05/05/2010 19:25

without even reading the OP, just6 the title, YANBU.

ihearthuckabees · 05/05/2010 19:33

whatsgoingtohappen - I had a landlady once (I rented a room in her house) who used to do this. She thought she was oh-so-cool, but I think it was also a test, to see if I could cope with a conversation while she lay soaping herself in the bath. She used to tape a crystal to her breastbone - my eyes were always drawn to it, which felt a bit dodgy. Those were the days, LOL.

TakeLovingChances · 05/05/2010 19:38

I do not envy you!!

minamillion · 05/05/2010 20:12

Oh my goodness!! That all sounds cringeworthy especially over Cocopops! Worse though if you were havin fried eggs!

My MIL is a bit like this - she could well have a bit part in 'Shameless'. She lets too much hang out and doesn't care, drinks like a fish and is pretty vile.

Is your MIL a nice person? Or do you sometimes wonder what she meant by something she says?

It does sound like a bit of either jealousy or a territorial thing like dogs!
Maybe next time she does it you should cough and nod you're eyes and let her know by a big loud and unashamed 'Ewww! I'M HAVING MY BREAKFAST!' Maybe then DH would be embarrassed enough to say something to her. Good luck

Original poster
smeeglemum · 05/05/2010 20:43

she's actually a nice person, just eccentric to say the least... wears the most ludicrous outfits and just doesn't give a shit what people think - got to admire that I suppose.

dh told me that she'd get her kit off on family holidays when they were teenagers and managed to get wedged in a rock pool with her legs akimbo and had to be saved by him and his teenage mate... how mortifying??

She also used to watch them playing criket at school sitting on a deck chair with no knickers on...

OP posts:
rookiemater · 05/05/2010 20:47

Ewwwwww, how gruesome is that watching your DS and his friends whilst showing your ladybits.

I shared a room with someone like that at a conference, didn't know her that well, would call her an acquaintance rather than a friend. She insisted in strutting around in the buff and talking loudly from the bathroom whilst on the toilet with the door open and still completely starkers. Yuk yuk yuk, MIL would definitely be worse.

ILovePlayingDarts · 05/05/2010 20:47

If my MIL did this, I'd die of shock. She is, after all, a healthy 81 yr old......

Sonilaa · 05/05/2010 20:58

better than seeing your naked fil scratching his balls...

Mamalade · 05/05/2010 21:06

Eugh!Grotesque!
Props to her for being laidback,but I think I would get up and leave the room when she's prancing around 'as nature intended' and just say something about feeling a little uncomfortable with nudity around small children.....and food(BLEUGH,BLEUGH)

minamillion · 05/05/2010 21:33

Mmm - don't envy you with this one but it sounds like she doesn't think of nudity like the rest of us. Especially with the cricket scenario (nearly spat my choc digestive at the screen when I read that one!) I know that's a classic joke about getting old and sitting in deck chair spread eagled so I think sadly she's just oblivious to other people's thoughts on her bits being on show. You'll have to pick up your tea and go in another room when she does an exhibition!

LoveBeingAHungParliament · 05/05/2010 22:11

Tbh I'm not sure my potato could cope with a forest!

HairExtensions · 05/05/2010 23:37

oh yuk yuk yuk, coco pops how could you?

BettyTurnip · 08/05/2010 23:08

Am sniggering immaturely at another poster telling OP she has to "Suck it up". Awful visions.

moondog · 08/05/2010 23:13

Another accidental ingesting of scalding tea thread thereby damaging lungs irrepairably.
Sloany, this is hilarious

'I'm not saying its good, or particularly pleasant for you, but what a chilled out MIL.

kimbles1984 · 08/05/2010 23:18

hahahahhaaaa at bush on fire, please train her to do that

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 09/05/2010 10:02

Why haven't you just gone "OMG why are you naked in the kitchen? can't you get changed in your room?" - I think that would have been my initial reaction!

I mean I'm all for tact and diplomacy but she evidently doesn't give a shit so needs to be told directly that you find her behaviour offensive and inappropriate.

Bollocks to it being her own house like it's some excuse to do whatever you like regardless of who is there, you'd all be up in arms if it was some old uncle of sound mind deliberately walking round with his giblets on show in front of your kids.

ApplesinmyPocket · 09/05/2010 10:13

Hmmm perhaps some tactful euphemism - "Blimey MIL! maybe you should draw the curtains?"

On the other hand, you could go with if you can't beat 'em, join 'em - turn up for brekkie starkers yourself and see if she likes the competition - "Oh MIL, I love that we can all be so free in this house," as you display your younger bush with a touch of smugness.

JennyPiccolo · 09/05/2010 10:22

lovebeingahungparliament!

your 'potato'!

!

thats the most gruesome thing i've read in this thread! i need to go for a lie down now.

carrieboo75 · 09/05/2010 10:52

When I worked as a nanny one summer the man would be lay in bed starkers and I would have to go in and remove the two little ones from the bed and the mum would get home from work strip off have a wee and climb into the bath (visable from the kitchen/family room) while still talking to me and expecting me to go in and out attending the kids etc. when they climbed in with her.

A few years later I worked for a small marketing company and they wife/husband team would invite employees back to the house and just strip off and walk around get in the bath etc.(thank god I was never invited). They also had an obsession with an americam self help progamme (I think it was called 10 steps) which ment they insistend that we all kept diaries, targets, goals etc. that had to include both our work and private life. To encourage everyone to join in they would constantly disscuss their sex life and expect their employees to do the same including using it for the diaries, targets, goals, such as writeing about a sex session in the diary, setting quicker orgams as target, more frequent sex sessions as goals etc. All very weird luckily my distain of it all must of showed and they did not keep me on after the 3 month probation period finished - a luck escape I think!!

Some people just don't feel uncomfortable with it and so don't consider it a problem for others. I think teaching dd to say things may be the most effective, it might take a while but if she keeps saying stuff as she grows up the softly softly trickle my sink in without granny being made to feel awkward about herself.

Good luck with that one!!!

MNHubbie · 09/05/2010 11:26

I was all for posting that YABU as it was her house etc and more power to her... right up until the plop of the poo.

LemonadeDrinker I misread yours at first and thought you were finding home-shot porn after the death of MIL or FIL and was going to say another fair-enough and get all huffy about how great that at an older age they had no shame, still loved their bodies and were obviously still at it like crazy, then I think you said they had the pics on a digital photoframe when the kids were around... um... no worries about nude pics of them being up every now and then TBH as it would teach the kids it is wrong to be ashamed of your body but once they get a little bit more extreme there is a bit too much to have to explain to the kids and ahhhh no thanks.

So OP shut the door on her when she poos and make sure she washes her hands and I agree with one of the other repliers just strip yourself when you get there too you'll either get the same feeling of liberation she has or it'll make her stop once and for all.

Rockbird · 09/05/2010 11:52

I guess it's her house her rules. If she does it when she visits you then you can start with the fanjo comments!

CheekyRedWineGirl · 09/05/2010 12:01

Omg I would die lol

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