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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my DS to eat in his pushchair?

28 replies

kveta · 05/05/2010 09:40

I've just started back at work, so am leaving my 7 month old DS with a nanny 2 days a week (in a nanny share with friends). The nanny is great, DS likes being with her, is happy to see her in the morning, and generally all is well.

However, yesterday he came home covered in dried on biscuit drool, all over his coat, and all over the pushchair liner. I'm probably being exceptionally precious about the pushchair, but got it 2nd hand (from a mumsnetter actually) and it was in perfect condition - now it's needing hosed down! I asked the nanny about it, and she says that the other child she minds gets a biscuit in the pushchair every time they go out and about, so DS will be getting jealous if he doesn't have one too.

Now, there are 2 things about this that bother me. 1. He should not need to be eating 24/7 and especially not biscuits, especially not when out on a 40 minute (or so) walk! Not only is there a choking hazard, but it's also not a good precedent to set - in my mind, food should be eaten at meal and snack times, and whilst stationary!
and 2. I don't mind washing puschair/coats when DS is sick on them, but dried on biscuit drool has set like concrete, and I don't want it all over my fairly good condition pushchair!

AIBU/deeply PFB about this?

OP posts:
rasputin · 05/05/2010 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rubyslippers · 05/05/2010 09:44

i think you are being PFB

buggies are wipeable and washable as are babies and clothes

if you don't want your son to snack, then tell your nanny - a munch on a rice cake in the buggy is ok IMO but if you aren't happy with it then say something

7 month olds are messy eaters anyway in a highchair or a buggy

rubyslippers · 05/05/2010 09:45

also, isn't it part of your nanny's duties to clean/change clothes and clean up after your DS ?

Skegness · 05/05/2010 09:48

I think that's reasonable enough (and mine is a ptb (precious third born) if that's relevant.) I love my buggy and its sheepskin liner too and for the moment am trying hard to limit obvious mess creation (does get harder when they're older I seem to recall). And I agree that biscuits every time they go out is too many biscuits!

BornToFolk · 05/05/2010 09:49

YABa bitU about the pushchair. It's going to be impossible to keep it in pristine condition, just accept that it's going to get a bit mucky at best and totally wrecked at worst.

YANBU about the biscuits in general though. It's up to you when and what your baby eats and the nanny should respect that. The occasional snack in the buggy is fine, IMHO, DS often eats in his, especially if we're in a rush, but if you give a snack every time they go in the buggy they'll come to expect it. And get through a lot of biscuits...

Can a 7 month old get jealous? I remember when I first weaned DS I could sit and eat biscuits while I fed him his dinner and he wasn't fussed at all.

PrettyCandles · 05/05/2010 09:50

I think you're being just a bit PFB. Babies do eat in their buggies, they do get grubby, and part of the household chores of being a parent is to regularly clean out the buggy.

Whether or not he needs a biscuit in his fist at 7m, he will at times need to snack in his buggy. You just have to accept that and provide snacks you are happier with. Rice cakes are easier to clear up than biscuits BTW.

diddl · 05/05/2010 09:53

I´m with the OP.
Mine never ate in the pushchair.
I don´t eat whilst out & about so it never occurred to me that the children would.

SloanyPony · 05/05/2010 09:57

A little bit PFB though if you are saying that you dont want your child to become one of those children who wont tolerate being out and about in the pushchair or in the car unless they have a crunchy snack to occupy them then less so - if its simply about the mess and pushchair though, I'd say lighten up, though its a little lax of your nanny not to give it a quick shake out/vigorous rub down with a muslin and sponge off any obvious debris with a wet wipe both from the pushchair and the coat. Not a full valet, just a quick clean up to keep the mice at bay...

Original poster
kveta · 05/05/2010 09:57

thanks for the pfb consensus that was the response I got from the nanny!

The reason for biscuits rather than rice cakes is that DS (an enthusiastic and messy BLWer!) keeps biting them in half with his razor sharp teeth then choking on them - he does not get rice cakes unless under 100% supervision at the moment! at least biscuits go mushy when he bites on them. I don't mind snacking at all, but don't think it's necesary when on the move, that's all - have told the nanny this, and just hope she respects my opinion. She thinks I'm a nutjob anyway becasue I breastfeed, express milk for her to feed him once a day (I'm only doing short days at work), BLW, and won't let him eat whole nuts or honey. Still, I pay her, so she has to stick to my barmy requests, doesn't she?!

Also, I know the pushchair can be washed - but it's nice to keep it clean if possible - it's such a colossal pain in the arse to clean it [lazy emoticon]

OP posts:
FiveOrangePips · 05/05/2010 09:59

yanbu I think the nanny should not feel the need to give your ds biscuits, to keep the peace? - but if she is a good nanny then I would very much want to be on good terms with her and find a very diplomatic approach.

I would maybe tell her you know you might be a bit precious, but it is important to you that your ds does not snack like that - say you are very worried about exposure to sugar and tooth decay. I know a six yr old who is soon to get 7 teeth out, her mum brushed her teeth twice a day and she has always gone to the dentist, but I think exposure to too much sugar and snacks has really hurt her baby teeth.

traceybath · 05/05/2010 09:59

Sorry - a nanny who thinks whole nuts and honey are suitable for a 7 month old would worry me far more than a grubby pushchair.

GeekOfTheWeek · 05/05/2010 10:02

Agree with traceybath.

Original poster
kveta · 05/05/2010 10:03

tracy - she's not from the UK, and thinks we're feeble about food here! She does respect our wishes wrt what food the kids are given, and anyway my friend and I provide the food for our DCs, and we're both very careful about nuts/honey etc. just the nanny has done the whole 'well, it didn't hurt my kids, so what's the big deal?' thing. my friend won't let her DC have sugar at all though, so I'm not too much of a fruitloop in comparison

OP posts:
runnybottom · 05/05/2010 10:05

nanny isn't that great then? Is she trained at all?

Tee2072 · 05/05/2010 10:05

Me too traceybath.

My nearly 11 month old has never had a snack in his pushchair and he seems fine about it! We eat before we go out or once we are at our destination.

I have fed him while he was sitting in his pushchair before, when there's been no highchair around, i.e. in a coffee shop like Starbucks and have given him a bottle or some cereal via spoon, but he's never had finger food whilst being pushed.

GeekOfTheWeek · 05/05/2010 10:06

Don't nannys have up to date training on food? Honey can be dangerous to babies, surely she should be aware of this.

rubyslippers · 05/05/2010 10:11

I wouldn't be so sure about her TBH

nuts and honey are absolutely not on for a 7 month year old

now that i would worry about

Original poster
kveta · 05/05/2010 10:23

it's hard because I like the nanny (we're not sure about definition, and think she'd be an au pair if younger - but are calling her nanny for now), and DS likes her, has a good time with her, and generally it's good. very convenient too -she's very flexible about timings, and will bring him to my work if I'm running late (apparently - hoping we don't have to test this one out as I don't want to work late!!). However, we're thinking of moving him to the childminder he goes to on the other days of the week when she has a space, as she's more up to date with training and so on. Problem is, she won't have a space for him until august (same with all childminders/nurseries we've felt comfortable with! no spaces until he's 1 or other babies they have are 1. grr! who knew childcare would be such a pita?! )

OP posts:
cupcakesandbunting · 05/05/2010 10:40

He doesn't need a biscuit anywhere. He is seven months old fgs.

But YABU about no mess in the pushchair. That is one battle you WILL lose.

edwardcullensotherwoman · 05/05/2010 10:53

I hate seeing babies eating while being pushed in the pushchair - it looks as if they've just been given something to shut them up! (Which obviously isn;t the case here, as explained by the nanny, but to a passer-by, that's my immediate judgement thought)
I agree, at 7 months he doesn't need a biscuit. As long as he has enough to eat at mealtimes and snack times he doesn't need anything in between.

And actually, I take your point about the pushchair - i hate cleaning out mine if I've had to feed ds in it at a coffee shop or something. It's just so much hassle to take off the cover, wash it and dry it then wrestle it back on! (Especially in between the rest of the washing I do!) If you've kept it clean and tidy, your nanny should too.

PrivetDancer · 05/05/2010 10:56

yanbu - I wouldn't want my child to grow up expecting a biscuit every time they got in a pushchair - as others have said, they are far too young to get jealous anyway.

How is the nanny pushing two pushchairs though?

biddysmama · 05/05/2010 10:58

i bought my buggy new and decided she wasnt going to eat in it.... now she is 13 month old and i wouldnt be able to shop if she didnt have her tub of yoghurt raisins... luckily the cover comes off and goes in the washer (at least once a week )

QSExelsis · 05/05/2010 11:00

I am sorry, but I would not feel comfortable with leaving my young baby (or even worse TWO young babies) in the sole care of a person with no formal training in childcare, and with not even rudimentary knowledge of what children in the uk are supposed to eat or not eat.

cupcakesandbunting · 05/05/2010 11:03

My DS eats in his pushchair and I don't care that it looks like it's to shut him up. It IS to shut him up! Sometimes, I do have to go out to the shops to buy food etc and sometimes DS does not like this and will demonstrate this by screaming his head off. If giving him a banana gives me ten minutes to get what I need to get without tolerating migraine-inducing screeches then so be it.

somewhereinlondon · 05/05/2010 11:17

I agree with biddysmamma, you may find as you get older eating in the chair does keep them quiet, or gets them eating when you know they want to be playing.
Also Agree - it can all be cleaned and I do envy mums with pristine pushchairs, mine isn't! Two boys and lot's of snacks later - a regular clean does happen but it should be a daily occurance. I would ask the nanny nicely to wipe down jacket and/or pram straight away as once it dries and sticks it is so much harder to clean. Wipes are generally good enough to get them clean.

Can you find some non-sugary biscuit/snack that wouldn't be a chocking hazard?

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