AIBU to think DP should be at home to say goodnight to his DS?

[MakeEndsMeet]

I am so mad! Btw this is the first time I've posted here.

Anyway 'D'P has been at uni all day, even finsihed late because he had to prepare for a project he's doing tomorrow. But then decided he was going to go out for a few drinks, sending me a text asking if it was ok even though he'd be going anyway. I could say no but it wouldnt make a difference. I sent him a reply to say he was going to miss DS's bedtime, something I think he should be here for unless it is unavoidable. I've told him this so many times yet he chooses to use his spare time drinking with his friends.
I just thought that seeing as the next few weeks are so busy for him he'd want to spend some time with us when he can.

By the way it's not like he doesnt go out, he is out everyday either at uni or at band practice. I on the other hand spend all my time with my DS going to mum and baby groups, i get up 6 times a week to do the early morning feed so I only get a lie in once a week, I know a luxury for some, I do all the household chores as well. I wont even get a decent night out until june but even then i can't properly let my hair down because i've been put forward to referee his stupid pub golf thing, even though i thought it could be the other way around because I spent my 21st 39 weeks pregnant and doing things HE wanted to do!

So AIBU to ask him to do this one thing? Be home so he can say goodnight to his son?

Right now none, but if he really wants us in his life he's gonna start now.

He acts as if I have no where to go if I do decide that I'm going to leave, or if he does sometimes acknowledge that my family will support me that they are not fit enough to be around DS. But as DS's mother I guess it's up to me to decide what is right for DS because now I think about it all his dad really isn't doing as much as he did when he was born.

I think I need to make him realise that spending time with DS is a privilege, he is just taking for granted that we will always be there.I just can't understand how someone would willingly choose to spend so little time with their child, but I guess if he's not careful the sacrifice he will end up making is his family.

Now you are talking sense

Give him a chance to make it right by explaining to him, without shouting and definitely without crying, what you have just written there

Then the ball is in his court

But you must, must, must follow through...or you will still be here in 5, 10 years time

With another couple of kids and a bloke who treats you like shit

I think I've got all my crying over and done with, shouting is not a choice I have, I don't want to wake DS because of this.

It will be hard though because I'm not a confrontational person, I do tend to just bottle it all up until I explode but this is the very last time DS and I come last!

Just hope I don't lose this confidence before he decides to come back.

You know you are right, and he is wrong

I hope that you can find a way to make him see what he stands to lose

So many young, immature men regret the careless way they treat people when they they look back later in life

But it is not up to you to make him do it...that is impossible and will just drain and de-motivate you

Good luck (you sound lovely, btw)

I know it's impossible to change him but I will make him see that if he doesn't get his priorities right we are going. Makes me happy to know I have got other people in my life to help support me.

Thanks for taking the time to help me to get my head straight, I really appreciate it

All the best, and give your dc a little squeeze x