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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not accept furniture from PiL?

13 replies

Dinkytinky · 04/05/2010 16:06

Me and DP have just bought our first home, coming from rented and I really don't want to accept furniture from his parents-
it is furniture kept from when they owned a care home and is not family heirlooms and all has a faint odour of wee and fags, it's also not my style at all, it's all quite cheap and dated.
We have the means to buy our own and I want to- after all it's the first time I'll be doing it!
Trouble is dp is happy to recieve anything ( had an incident for 4 old rugs where he just threw them down and now I can't get rid! And I really don't want to hurt their feelings as although it's all stuff from their loft they saved it specifically for when their sons bought houses.
WWYD? Or am I being UR?
Thanks!

OP posts:

womblingfree · 04/05/2010 16:10

For God's sake put your foot down now otherwise they'll be offloading their old tat on you forevermore.

Dh had accepted a few donations from his lot just prior to us getting together and in spite of my efforts they are still doing it 14 years later.

They ask him, he asks me - I say no, he has the mother of all strops cos he's so scared of putting a foot wrong - esp with MIL - that we end up with it all anyway.

Best of luck - and if you find a way to put a stop to it please let me know ASAP!!!

PrettyCandles · 04/05/2010 16:15

"That is so kind of you. Thank you so much for thinking of us. But at last we can afford to furnish and buy new, and I am really proud of being able to do this and looking forward so much to choosing our new stuff with dh. Please keep it for dBILs - we wouldn't want them to go short."

PrettyCandles · 04/05/2010 16:16

Whhops - missed out a crucial phrase:

That is so kind of you. Thank you so much for thinking of us. But we can't accept it. You see, at last we can afford to furnish and buy new, and I am really proud of being able to do this and looking forward so much to choosing our new stuff with dh. Please keep it for dBILs - we wouldn't want them to go short."

DecorHate · 04/05/2010 16:18

Just bear in mind that there can be a long delivery time for some furniture - would it be worth accepting it to tide you over until your new stuff arrives and also save upsetting the ILs?

Once you have your own stuff you can offer to give it back to them or freecycle it....

PrettyCandles · 04/05/2010 16:40

I've been there, DecorHate. Generally you can't give it back and it almost always causes offence to get rid of it.

Firawla · 04/05/2010 17:54

pretty candles reply is good. use that.
yanbu to want to chose your own

Shaz10 · 04/05/2010 17:56

My house is full of other people's cast offs that I can't seem to get rid of. These days I just say "no thanks, I already have one". But PrettyCandles response is ace. Use that.

RunawayWife · 04/05/2010 18:11

You are not being unreasonable, can you order new stuff fast and then say oh sorry I already have A,B,C but thanks for the offer

whywhywhydelilah · 04/05/2010 21:35

If you really can't avoid accepting it accept it but accept the fact that the funiture might have to have a few accidents that render it unuseable eg. fire, spilling 4 pints of milk on it, childrens diarrhea, blood in general and dog sick.

Bluesunday · 04/05/2010 22:10

YANBU - I had this for years: everyone else's third-hand brown paisley-patterned psychadelic seventies cast-off crap the charity shop turned their noses up at but "that'll do for Bluesunday". I'm warning you - if you accept it with a polite smile THEY WILL KEEP GIVING YOU MORE AND MORE AND MORE until your sparkling modern home resembles a skip - and then when/if you have a(nother) baby they'll dump their musty, yellowing pee and puke stained baby clothes they've had in a drawer since 1983 on you as well. And then you'll snap and scream "stop giving me your old shit ffs!" Nip it in the bud now.

gtamom · 04/05/2010 22:49

Go order your new stuff then call them up and tell them. They will live, trust me. If my son's did this I'd be fine with it.
They should get it out of their attic and to the dump, unless the other son actually DOES want a bunch of old smelly stuff.

ChippingIn · 04/05/2010 22:53

Read Bluesundays post again - then use Pretty Candles post to sort it out. ASAP!!

Original poster

Dinkytinky · 04/05/2010 23:40

Lol!!! What brilliant responses thankyou! I think I will try a combo of all of the above-
'oh goodness how kind but I have just this second ordered a b and c all with non refundable deposits, oh how lovely a yellow Paisley rug,oh dear what's that? I have come down with a puking and bleeding disease! Oops now it's both ends! Oh dear best save the rest of it for BiL snooty girlfriend, she LOVES 1970's throwbacks'. Thanks!

OP posts:

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