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AIBU?

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Original poster

to be annoyed at this?

13 replies

BattyKoda · 04/05/2010 14:54

My 4yo birth father called last week to say he'd seen an item that he though DS would quite like, he was going to buy it and send it up. He's told DS what is is and to look out for it in the post. He's called today and said he can't get it sent to my address, as he has just opened the account and the first order needs to go to his address. So he has put the money into my account and asked me to get the item (he has my details in case he ever feels the need to pay any of the £300 arrears and continuing child maintenence he owes).

The item is from Next, I said I don't want to open an account (only way you can order online) so his response was, 'well I've checked and they have one in xxx branch' (a fair distance away from where we live).

This isn't fair, is it? Why couldn't he have got the item sent to him and forwarded it on? The only other time he bought him a gift (at christmas) he did exactly the same, only he didn't really specify what to get, just make sure I got something that he would know was from him.

I know, should be grateful he's put thought in at all (although it is a very rare occurance), but now I'm left with a disspointed 4yo or a pain int he ass journey to get the sodding thing!!

OP posts:
bran · 04/05/2010 15:03

If it's in the Next catalogue then you can go to any Next store and order it without opening an account. You pay at the till when you order and it gets delivered to the store and you pick it up from there. I do this for DS's school uniform.

at him having enough for presents and not for maintenance.

Original poster
BattyKoda · 04/05/2010 15:07

I know bran, but to be honest the nearest one isn't much closer than the other one, both are a bit of a pain (I don't drive, he knows this).

No glory in maintenance though you see.

OP posts:
Original poster
BattyKoda · 04/05/2010 15:24

Do you think it would be un reasonable of me to buy a similar item from a different place? It will cost me £5 more but saves me the hassle. I know he will think that would be unreasonable, but is it, really?

OP posts:
bran · 04/05/2010 15:25

Is he not going to see your DS for his birthday? Perhaps you could get him to tell DS that he will be bringing it the next time he sees him. Alternatively I think if you phone them and tell them you want to order something without opening an account it might be possible to do. I'm sure someone on here has said that it is (theoretically) possible to order and pay up front without an account.

bran · 04/05/2010 15:29

Not unreasonable to buy whatever you want, wherever you want, so long as your DS knows that he did get a present from his dad. If he claims that you've been unreasonable then tell him he's absolutely right, and in future if he wants something done in a particular way he should do it himself because you probably won't ever be able to follow his instructions exactly.

Original poster
BattyKoda · 04/05/2010 15:29

It's not for his birthday. He missed his birthday, this is just an out of the blue I'm feeling guilty present. It's too late for him to get it now anyway as he put the money into my account before telling me. It's something Ds is really looking forward to, he's already asking after it because I told him it would probably be here today. I might just get this one, it's the same thign just slightly different, and DS will love it just as much!

OP posts:
CheekyVimtoGal · 04/05/2010 15:31

I would get back to him and say order it to yours, then forward it on. Not hard - but then again he is a bloke

harimo · 04/05/2010 15:32

Just say thanks, then keep the money and tell him that you buy something for your child that he will love (obviously making it clear it's from his dad).

And then, perhaps, mention that what kids really need are positive experiences. not money in bank accounts. (sorry, pet peeve of mine)

bran · 04/05/2010 15:32

If you know your DS will love it anyway then buy it from the most convenient location. His dad probably won't even know that it's not the exact thing he wanted you to get. 4 yr olds are very vague on descriptions so when he talks about it on the phone it'll sound right to his dad.

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/05/2010 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
BattyKoda · 04/05/2010 15:42

Bran - thats true, he won't know any different I suppose. I've just ordered it

PixieOnaLeaf - the last discussion we had about maintenance was him trying to bribe me into cancelling the CSA's involvement. He said he would then start paying £300 per month into my bank account. I told him to shove it no thanks (we've been there before). It turns out the CSA have sniffed out some divendends that he's just paid himself and DS could be in for a large slice if they get him to court. Thought best not to bring that up

OP posts:
emsyj · 04/05/2010 17:08

You can order from Next over the phone without opening an account - just ring customer services. Just if you ever want to order in future, it can be done - they just make it hard work!

Original poster
BattyKoda · 04/05/2010 17:17

Ah OK, thanks emsyj!

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