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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I being an old fart over DD's class photo?

72 replies

sweetcat · 03/05/2010 12:24

I can't decide if I am or not.

DD is in YR5 and never had a class photo before. She told me that the photographer has used a modern approach, nothing wrong with that. The individual ones he did in September were fab!

So, he got the children into groups of 3 or 4 and took them in poses then put it into one photo.

Some on the floor hands on chin, piggybacks etc so I was looking forward to seeing the finished article.

We got it on Friday and I am still undecided if I like it or not becase 6 of the boys have their hands and fingers in gun positions. They are pointing at the camera and at each other and it doesn't sit right with me at all.

DH sort of agrees with me but neither of us are sure if we shouold complain to the the Head or not. I don't really want the photo now but DD probably won't get another before High school and I would like a reminder of her with her class.

So, am I being an old fart, and would you be bothered about it?

OP posts:

shockers · 03/05/2010 12:28

You're not being an old fart... it's not really appropriate for a school photo which will be bought by lots of different folk with different viewpoints. The photographer should have thought of that.

copperjar · 03/05/2010 12:29

I wouldn't like it.

diddl · 03/05/2010 12:31

I wouldn´t like it tbh.

pitterpatterfeet · 03/05/2010 12:32

No it's not really appropriate. It's a shame that they didn't just take the class photo properly. YANBU

Original poster

sweetcat · 03/05/2010 12:33

OK, so far you are with me, thanks! Would any of you complain? I was thinking of writing a short note to say I would not be buying the photo and why, and how disappointed I was.

OP posts:

shimmerygoldglitter · 03/05/2010 12:33

No, I wouldn't either and I would complain unless it is going to come back on your dd.

oceryo · 03/05/2010 12:34

I think it is inappropriate.

shimmerygoldglitter · 03/05/2010 12:36

If you did complain, I can't imagine you would be the only one.

hocuspontas · 03/05/2010 12:38

Not sure. Maybe they are reenacting a laser party they went to or something . I'd buy it and mention it if I felt strongly enough. They probably do this all the time in the playground - how do you feel about that?

ASmallBunchOfFlowers · 03/05/2010 12:38

I live in a borough where gun culture and gun crime are a real problem causing untold pain and grief. Anything that reinforces and normalises the notion that guns are cool is very damaging and I would be asking the headteacher to speak to the photographer about the inappropriateness of it. Is this one of the photography chains that go to lots of schools?

wideratthehips · 03/05/2010 12:38

our school does this style of photography in little groups and then its photoshopped together in a banner style and it looks fantastic.

i would be DEVASTATED if any of the children were doing this in the photo...... ds is P1 though. i would not like it and it would not be a good memory of the little darlings at school

nannynobnobs · 03/05/2010 12:39

I wouldn't be keen on it tbh, it's not appropriate!
Our school has gone for these 'modern' class photos, if I'm honest I preferred the ones where they all sat on chairs in rows! DD's first class photo was taken outside in the playground, in front of the weeping willows on a sunny day, and it's lovely. The latest one has all the kids in various hammy poses, and it's really cheesy (and hammy, and pickley).

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/05/2010 12:40

Is it possible that the photographer can come back and retake it? I don't think you are being AOF about it, my dd had an individual one done at school. When it came home the photographer had her in all manner of weird and wonderful poses (it was all a bit soft porn TBH) and he'd done something bizarre with her hair. I wasn't the only one to be unhappy and he came back and re did them. This was Thailand though, where labour costs are low.

Gay40 · 03/05/2010 12:40

I wouldn't like it, and I would complain.

juneybean · 03/05/2010 12:41

Ooo no, what's wrong with everyone sitting nicely!? Deary me!

mysteryfairy · 03/05/2010 12:43

I thought you were just going to say you don't like the modern style and even on that I would have said YANBU. (DD looks dreadful lying on the floor with someone leaning on top of her in her class photo).

The gun thing is just unbelievable! I would be annoyed if it featured in a school photo and if anyone had got either of my DSs (who were not allowed toy weapons) to pose like that I would have been totally livid.

I have a friend who has a family photo in this style where they are all posing with an upright Dyson - how weird is that?

Firawla · 03/05/2010 12:43

I don't like the sound of it, and I'm sure you wouldn't be the only one if you did complain. The modern style could be okay I suppose although would probably prefer normal but definitely not the guns thing, I'm quite suprised they did that tbh

GoodDaysBadDays · 03/05/2010 12:45

What Gay40 said

Original poster

sweetcat · 03/05/2010 12:51

Oh, my first AIBU and so far you have all backed me up, thanks.

The photographer is local so I suppose he could come back and do another. I have asked DD and it was his idea for the guns, not the boy's.

hocuspontas I know boys play like this, I have a DS too although he is only 4 yet. But the play ground is where I would expect them to play like this, not on a photo. I am not the against this type of play even though I wouldn't encourage it. Interesting question though....

I will try to canvass some other parents before I say anything though as Shimmerygoldglitter raised another interesting point about it coming back to DD if I complain.

OP posts:

MrsToffeeCrisp · 03/05/2010 12:59

I would hate it too. Have an issue with my sons playing guns, certainly wouldn't want a school photo of it.

pixiestix · 03/05/2010 12:59

Wow, thats the first I have heard of "modern" class photos - they sound bloody awful!
I would complain if I were you - if no one says anything the photographer will keep on doing the same thing, not thinking that it is a problem.

shimmerygoldglitter · 03/05/2010 13:02

Sounds like the photographer has some thwarted ambitions to me. Perhaps he should be taking photographes in other environments if he thinks kids posing with guns is a good idea for a photograph.

Original poster

sweetcat · 03/05/2010 13:40

Thanks for all your replies

OP posts:

iwastooearlytobeayummymummy · 03/05/2010 13:50

My DS had this type of photo taken last year as a leaver's thing(year 6)
They were grouped around their friendships at the time the photo was taken
By the end of the term many of the alliances had broken up and indeed some ended on bad terms!
Others had regrouped but were not 'with' their mates in the photo.
in my view a tradtional line up would have been better, but then I am verrry old.

Pozzled · 03/05/2010 14:01

iwastooearly I can't believe that a class photo could be based around friendship groups. That seems incredibly insensitive if children were asked to pick who they were friends with- never a simple thing. There are always one or two that don't really fit in any group, one or two that everybody wants in their group etc etc. And as you say, they change so quickly anyway.

Oh, and OP YANBU. But -just clutching at straws here- are you sure that the photographer intended to show guns, and not just pointing, IYSWIM? It would still be inappropriate because it looks like guns but less shocking.

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