To think that being "just a mum" is perfectly fine, thank you very much!

[SirBoobAlot]

Ugh. I bumped into an old acquaintance in town today, waiting at the bus stop (so couldn't escape!). We knew each other when we were a lot younger, and always had a bit of a one-upmanship going on.

Anyway - when she found out I was pregnant last year she was very negative about it, and that was when I kind of realised she was never going to grow out of the childish "Anything you can do, I can do better" soundtrack that seemed to accompany our interactions.

So today I saw her, and asked smilingly how she was, what she was doing etc. She said she's happy, studying at uni and working really hard in a part time job. She then smiled at me and said, "So what about you? Are you doing anything? Or just being a mum?"

Now I know it shouldn't have got to me, but it bloody well did. This parenting lark is rather difficult and it made me feel like I wasn't doing anything with my life any more. I didn't raise to it, just smiled back and went on about how wonderful it is being a mum (which is so true, its the best thing that has ever happened to me ).

But its really got my goat! She hasn't got children, and I'm sure that if she does have them one day down the line she will understand how hectic days can be with a six month old, but its made me feel a little undervalued. If for no other reason than if I wasn't disabled and 18, then I would only just be going back to work anyway.

grumbles SO - AIBU to be perfectly satisfied with being "just" a mum? Or more likely, do I need to chill out and stop over-reacting?

she isnt jealous.hasnt got kids made off cuff comment,thats all

most of us pre-children havent a scoobie-doo
post children we learn
dont read too much into this

Xactly SM. What some of us have said that when or if she has kinds then she'll realise the errors of her speeches ways

SirBoob (great name, btw!) I get this from a neighbour of mine... looks at me askance cos I have 18 hours a week childcare for my toddler, which started when I was 37 weeks preg w/ Number Two, who's now 12 days old, I may add!... but she doesn't have children, she has no idea.... They (neighbour and her DH) spent last weekend decorating their home-made hacky sack game.... um, I spent last weekend b/fing a newborn round the clock and staring at my sore nipples... No one can really know what it's like until they have a child, and then they say 'why did no one tell me what it was like?'

you shudda kicked her in the fanjo

Why do you value her opinion so much?

And fwiw at 18 I would have thought having a baby my worst nightmare and going to uni and having a job the thing to aspire to.

Like most things in life your priorities change as your experience increases. It's not what you do that counts - it's how you feel about it. And if you're happy then what she/people on the bus/men digging the road/whoever thinks doesn't matter a jot.

Subtle as ever Custy

Not so bothered by it this morning - and of course, the MN jury is correct. Maybe its the other way round; maybe its me who is a little jealous. I wouldn't change DS for the world but I do miss studying. Ah well - she doesn't have a chuckling baby trying to eat his play mat and break the sound barrier laying on her floor, does she?

tbh, I think your friend sounds like the type to make a negative comment about whatever you're doing, whether it's being a Mum or a hedgefund manager.