Is my wife being unreasonable?

[SimontheCivilServant]

My wife of ten years and I are divorcing because I want to marry my secretary who is pregnant with my child following a two-year affair.

We have two children and she lives in my former house on Richmond while I am pigging it in East Sheen

She is refusing to accept that the family home is obviously now far too big for her and two children.

I can't pay two mortgages plus school fees, it's ridiculous! Is she or is she not BU?

After all, I have supported her lifestyle for ten years, I feel it's my turn.

[Disclaimer: This is not a real post, just canvassing opinions, light-heartedly because I am pissed off with reading this feeble argument in novels and hearing it in RL. Does Simon have a point?]

Simon should have kept his point to himself, then he wouldn't be in this mess.

wishing I'd thought of that rsponse Colditz!!! LOL!

Of course not-wives are never unreasonable.

Simon's point is irrelevant in this matter, he should have kept his trousers up and his zip firmly in place.

If your secretary is younger, sexier and thinner than your wife then your wife is being perfectly reasonable. If your wife has a younger, sexier, richer lover than she is being very, very slightly unreasonable. But only slightly.

Simon you pig. I shall now post your thread to my facebook page (using the little button you know), and tell all our friends (because, indeed I do know you in real life, and so does Emma and Jane and Percival) what a farking pig you are.

I also know that you have cheated on your secretary too, with Janice. Janice told me. I shall post that too. Just so you know.

(disclaimer: my previous post has nothing to do with the truth)

LOL at Percival and farking. I need to remember that these responses are to Simon the twunt not to me (MiladyDeWinter - I have been very open about this MNHQ!)

Does nobody else want to take Simon to task? Men read MN too, they should be told

Ah well.

BTW am reading Morningstar by Erin Pizzey.

Simon, the discussion has moved away from mumsnet, and is now discussed on various FACEBOOK walls, and on twitter.

You just dont get to see it.

There was a big discussion about this in Germany recently. The law was changed so that alimony paid by the exH went first to the children of first and second marriage, and only if there was money left over to the first wife.

Basically the idea was that Simon should pay for the upkeep of his children, but his first wife, Penelope, should have to go back to work to support herself.

Actually, I think I am wrong. I believe that the exwife gets nothing.

Hard going for Penelope if she gave up her career to be a SAHM and support Simon.

Why has the house suddenly got too big - whats changed? - cos according to you you haven't been there for 2 years on acccount of shagging your secretary!!!

Yep mumbar, why is it that so many men think that when they vacate the house they hardly spent any time in because of "work" shagging that all of a sudden it is too small for the wife and children who live there!

I know him and his ego can't have taken up that much room!!! And I'm presuming he shared a room with his wife when actually at home??

Well, yes, but if you count what it would cost to look after the children if the ex-wife weren't doing it, then the "upkeep of his children" would be costing Simon more than he is currently paying.

How much does it cost for a 24 hour live in nanny. ?

The cost of a 24hr live-in nanny is overstating it somewhat.

Presume that in most conventional jobs, the first wife would be around at night. Schoolage children will be at school during the day.

MdmeLindt, interesting about the German position. Would the cost of the children include the cost of childcare, seeing that the first wife is expected to go back to work?

choccy
There was an age limit, I think. When the last child turns 3yo, Penelope can be expected to earn her own keep. That is when full time childcare is available in Germany.

Not saying it is right, btw. Just offering a different view.

Fwiw, my DH agreed with the law. We know a few families where the ex-wife wanted to stay home and the husband had to cover all the costs.

MmeLindt, is it full time childcare after 3 years' old that is entirely paid for by the state?

Ah, no tax credits at all, this scenario was in the late '70's, cheeky bastard whining that he can't afford to support two households of his own making!

Full time childcare from 3yo, pretty much guaranteed, not paid by the state but not expensive. Some areas it is means tested, so low earners pay less.

Had a quick look. The main points of the changes in the German system were:

• equal payments to be made for children born during the marriage as to children born out of wedlock.

• that the parent who looks after the children can be expected to go back to work, if there is childcare available.

• that the children, whether from first or any subsequent marriages, come first. Only when they are financially secure will a judge award alimony to the ex wife. Used to be that if a man remarried, his second family suffered because he had to pay so much to his ex wife.