First, I have name changed as this will be some personal info, but am a regular for several years - I do realize what may happen to me posting this in AIBU. I do, however, have an appreciation for the broad range of opinions on this board and that happens to be exactly what I am looking for as both DH and I need some perspective on this.
DS is 2. DH's family is not from here, too elderly to travel here. My only family members are my mother and her mother who are within a few hours travel. My father lives here but we are no contact, thankfully, he is vicious and toxic person it took me a decade to escape.
DH is not religious. He has a bit of disdain for the Catholic church, but that is more related to the horrible things that have taken place than the actual religion itself, iykwim.
I was born and raised Christian (Protestant). I attended a Catholic church for ten years with my ex-h but did not convert. I have not attended any church for many years, though fundamentally I still had considered myself Christian as I believed in the fundamental principles of Christianity.... though at the same time I took courses, etc., on world religions simply out of interest as I feel that religion is a major motivating factor in why certain things happen in the world.
When DH and I were married, I insisted that it NOT be in a church as it was v. important to me that we both believed wholeheartedly in what we were saying. We were married by a non-denominational minister who spoke with DH beforehand and wrote our ceremony for both of our beliefs.
I would say at this point if I had to define my own feelings (ie. explain it to DS) it would be to the effect of - some people believe x, some people believe y, it's ok to believe whatever you feel is right as long as it doesn't hurt others, faith can be a very positive and comforting thing.
DH's only opinion is that he will support whatever I wish in this area.
OK, background done, sorry so long. Anyhow, this past week, my mother has given me a pamphlet from her (Protestant) church on Baptism. No pressure from her at all, just wondering if we'd thought of it. Which we had, but at the time my father was tormenting us and that basically took over our lives, so it sort of passed and has not really come up.
I was baptized, as was DH at birth, though he doesn't even know what denomination (his parents are v. elderly and apparently have no idea?!?!?!)
We agree completely that we intend to raise DS with a respect for all religions and to a limited degree somewhat of an education about what they entail; but at the same time with values that I had always considered to be "Christian" - though now would consider them just to be good values that apply regardless.
SO if you've gotten this far, AIBU to consider baptizing DS? Is there a non-denominational way to do that? Would a church even baptise him without his parents being active attendees? (Note: Have already told one minister that we intend to expose him to many religous institutions and been told how aweful that is?) Or alternatively, AIBU to NOT baptise DS? Is he missing something?