to be upset that PIL and others aren't seeing DS..........

[Mouseface]

On his very first birthday when I've said it's open house, please come and they've had a whole years notice?

Well, I know I am but I need to let this out to all of you so I don't blow my top with them.

DS has had an utterly shit first year. In and out of hospitals. Tests, operations and he's nearly lost his tiny little life due to three different post-op complications.

Is it too much to ask for his family to be here this Sunday? My parents are coming over but that's it. Really. No aunts, uncles or anyone else can make it.

Granted, everyone lives all over the UK but still, his birthday was always going to be the same date.

Some are working but others have sporting events to be involved in.......

I feel so very, very deflated. I know I'm being precious and petty, DS is not PFB btw, but we're so lucky to stil have him. I want to shout from the rooftops - he made it!!

Why am I the only one who seems to want to mark this very important milestone?

Flame me now and let me wallow in my vodka.

Bless you and hurrah for your DS, he must be a tough little bean. The most important people in his life will be there to celebrate his birthday, focus on that and enjoy celebrating his first year of life as a family. And because it's Friday, bollocks to those family members who can't be bothered to come!

Thanks ginger, you made me smile.

Off to top up my glass and wait to be told that IABU!!!

I can understand why his first birthday feels more important to you with all you have been through.

I'm afraid though that I think YAB a bit U (although its understandable given the circumstances). I wouldn't expect to travel from 'all over the UK' for a family birthday party especially if it was on a Sunday and I had work the next day.

If I was you I would accept that it will only be your parents and then invite a few close friends who live locally.

Hope you enjoy the celebration and don't stress too much about this

YANBU, but it's their loss. Your DS sounds like a little trooper. Enjoy the fact that you don't have all these extra people to run around after and can relax and enjoy the celebrations Relax and raise a glass to your DS, unencumbered by people who aren't as important!

I couldn't agree with ginger more - well said!

my lot are shite with all occassions and I no longer make any effort - its about the DC and thats that - well done you and your lovely family

YANBU. I hope it doesn't spoil the day for you. It'll certainly save you a lot of work anyway!

alicet - I thought this coming Monday was a bank holiday in the UK. Is it not?

Sod 'em. Huge happy birthdays to him and best wishes to you. They are missing out, not him or you.

alicit it's BH Monday and this has been planned for ages.

They are all self employed too - performing arts, musicians, sound engineers and alike.

You're right I know I'm BU to expect them travel and turn up.

joolyjoolyjoo I will enjoy the day for what it is and have the VC in the fridge already. A celebration of my little fighter, beating the odds!

Yes - it is a BH on Mon sorry!

I don't think YABU to hope they would come and celebrate with you. Have to say that I am not sure I would be travelling to the other end of the country for a neice / nephews birthday when they were too little to appreciate it but then again we never have done this in my family so can't really speak for whether this is unreasonable or not in yours.

Hope you have a lovely day

Should've said, they ALL live about 2 hours away in one direction or another.

But with BH traffic, they may never make it!!

Thing is, they have said they'll come and one by one, cancelled.

They might be working then

YANBU, my DS didn't have health problems (glad your is ok now) but he was a very longed for child that we were told we would probably never have. On his 1st birthday, PILs went on holiday and no one from DH's family bothered to come and celebrate with us. The only ones from my family who weren't there was because they genuinely couldn't make it. I was pretty pissed off.

His second birthday SIL didn't even bother to let us know that she wasn't coming, she sent MIL a text saying she was busy (her excuse for everything she doesn't want to do) and 3 months later we still haven't had a card off her after refusing to go and pick it up from her when she lives 15 minutes away and drives, doesn't have DCs etc so no committments really.

did you actually invite them in advance?

it's not enough for them just to know when his birthday is, imo your dh needed to say 'look we've had a tough year with ds we really want you to share his 1st birthday with us'

Compo - they've had at least five month's notice and I asked DH to relay my feelings about this to his family.

They have all said they would come and one by one found other things to do.

Yes, some are working but this has been planned for ages. My brother has actually tried to swap his shift but can't. I'm fine about that.

I don't care if IBU, I know I am. I'm going to have a tiny sulk now if that's ok. Get it all out today and leave it at that.

Well my PFB 1st birthday was him, me & my parents & it was blöödy great!

Husband was working-Ils didn´t want to be there without their son

The thing is that I think anyone other than parents, grandparents it´s pretty boring, as in my mind it should be a special day for the child, not a party for the adults.