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AIBU?

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Original poster

why does she do this?

23 replies

spybear · 30/04/2010 18:09

Went to pick up DSS today, we have him every other wkend, friday to sunday.

We pick him up on a friday at 4pm, he finishes school at 3.15.

Half of the time when we pick him up and get him home he'll say "oh i've already had dinner, my mum had a mcdonalds waiting in the car for me"

It drives me mad, he is a fussy eater so I always plan something I know he'll eat, like spag bol or a roast dinner. It is horrible when we all sit down to eat and he is eating nothing.

Why would she pick him up with a mcdonalds waiting for him when she knows we will be having a meal that night?

OP posts:
Lulumaam · 30/04/2010 18:11

3.15 is early for dinner.. surely he would be hungry for another meal/something to eat at 5/6 ish?

if you have him overnight, surely he will eat again before bed, as it's a long time until breakfast if he eats his last meal at 3.15?

i am not sure i would see this as a problem tbh..

lou031205 · 30/04/2010 18:11

To keep control and make your contact time less meaningful? To leave your DSS with the thoughts that his Mum is the one who gives him treats?

Could you pick him up from school on that day?

Disenchanted3 · 30/04/2010 18:12

Just ask her not to in future.

LaurieFairyCake · 30/04/2010 18:12

Why does she do this?

Maybe because she knows he's a fussy eater and she wants to save you the trouble?

At least now you don't have to make something he'll eat - you can just keep something in the freezer for him the next time if he doesn't have MCD's.

PlumBumMum · 30/04/2010 18:13

ggrrr for you, but are you sure he's not playing his mum as he knows he will get a McD's, 2 of my dcs would rather eat McD's than a lovely yummy roast dinner etc

QuintessentialShadow · 30/04/2010 18:14

Maybe you can pick him earlier, so his mum does not HAVE to drive to school and wait with him. She is probably hungry and get a macd for both of them.

Or feed everybody dinner later.

PlumBumMum · 30/04/2010 18:14

Wow you lot are quick, and I'm drooling at roast, because we are actually having Mc D's tonight, dcs have dh wrapped round their finger

MrsC2010 · 30/04/2010 18:17

Is it a treat for him because he is then going away, if you see what I mean?

Original poster
spybear · 30/04/2010 18:19

lulumaam - He wouldn't eat a full meal again, his appitite is tiny. They will all have a snack again, but its not the same as dinner.

disenchanted - My DP doesn't talk to her at all, and wouldn't. Strange i know, but it keeps the peace.

Laurie - i just don't see her doing this to save me the trouble, i have 4 other DC, so i have to make dinner anyway, and my freezer is broken...its killing me..no ice cream..

OP posts:
Bathsheba · 30/04/2010 18:20

Treat for him going away? Feeling she'll miss him and manifesting this as a Macdona;ds..?

Clearly, although he is fussy, he will eat, and like macdonalds..

Ask him when he gets in the car if he has had a macdonalds - if he has, then fine, no problem, get dinner for yourselves and a snack for him later..

if he hasn't then nip[ in past macdonalds....so you don't have to worry about cooking him food he will eat that night.

either way, on a Friday he gets a macdonalds, is fed, and probably is happy...

diddl · 30/04/2010 18:21

How old is he?

Unless he´s pigged out at McD´s I would think he could manage at least a small portion of what you have made.

Is she reasonable enough to talk to about it?

As someone said-maybe he is telling her that half of the time he cannot eat what you cook iyswim.

Original poster
spybear · 30/04/2010 18:23

Maybe it is a treat for him going away, and im reading too much into it.

OP posts:
Original poster
spybear · 30/04/2010 18:24

Maybe he is telling her that he doesn't like what i make. He has to eat veg here, he doesn't eat any at home.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 30/04/2010 18:26

spybear that scenario does sound quite likely these dc certainly know how to play one parent off the other to their advantage (at times!)

diddl · 30/04/2010 18:27

Well I think don´t make an issue.
If he´s had McD´s don´t feed him if he hasn´t feed him.

I would have thought he´s soon get fed up of it every week if he could have a homecooked meal tbh.

Is it also though that his mum asks & he doesn´t want to offend her by refusing?

Original poster
spybear · 30/04/2010 18:27

He is 8 diddl. I find it hard to convince him to eat dinner on a non mcdonalds day, so wouldn't want to upset him by insisting, of course i offer though.

OP posts:
whatwasthatagain · 30/04/2010 18:27

McDonald's a treat? A fussy eater chooses to eat McDonald's? Yuk. My DD gets home from school starving and quite often has what I consider to be a sizeable snack (a cheese spread sarnie and a banana) before doing whatever activity the evening holds, and she will still eat a small portion of dinner with us later. How old is he?

sleepingsowell · 30/04/2010 18:33

I think it sounds like just a nice little treat for him before she waves him off for a few days.

(Personally how a McDonalds could be seen as any kind of treat is beyond me but that's not the issue i know!)

I would just assume he's had his food and not worry about it, personally. I don't suppose she is doing it in any way to annoy you, just to have a little treat time with her boy.

diddl · 30/04/2010 18:37

"I find it hard to convince him to eat dinner on a non mcdonalds day"

So perhaps him mum is right to make sure he has something?

Lulumaam · 30/04/2010 18:38

if he does not eat much, maybe his mum wants to give him something to eat before he goes off for the weekend?

Original poster
spybear · 30/04/2010 18:51

He will eat his dinner, but not really very happily, even when i cook something i know he will eat.

He would have chicken dippers and chips for breakfast lunch and dinner if we let him.

And i wouldn't mind so much if I didn't have the other DC, but every other wkend is a lot to let them eat crap .

OP posts:
diddl · 30/04/2010 18:53

Perhaps it´s not the food but the "formality" if you all sit at the table-maybe he finds it stressful & feels a bit of an outsider?

activate · 30/04/2010 18:59

You can't ask her to stop - it's her decision

so what he sits down with you but doesn't eat - the food is there if he wants it and you won't be pressuring him

of course mcd at 3 is not a great idea, I'd have thought he'd be hungry

just make what you want for dinner, set him a place, put a little on a plate and just chat

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