Student Nanny

[tryingtobemarrypoppins2]

I have two children a 2 year old and a 9 week old newborn. I was so grateful to except the help of a Student Nanny from the local college. She has done 3 days so far and its proving really hard work

She is a lovely girl but needs prompting to do quite basic things, for example, makes DS lunch doesn't clear it away, watches DS play doesn't engage with him etc etc etc.

DS has started saying "Go away, cheerio" to her whenever she does things with him for example when we were all eating tea, when she got him dressed. He is bloody rude to her! And if I hear "Goodbye, Cheerio" once more I'll scream! I put him on the naughty step and made it VERY clear he was rude but it makes the day so much harder.

Last week she said she was going to not be able to come this morning and could she do late afternoon, early evening as she was off to get a tatoo. The thing is by the end of the day DS just wants his daddy/stories and bed and newborn is breastfeeding for England and to be honest she would be a bit in the way - sounds horrid I know. The morning should work really well, help me get the children ready, off we go to toddler group, back for lunch, activity with DS then DS goes to bed and her day is finshed. Sounds good but its not working quite as I thought.

AIBU and an ungrateful cow!?? How can I make this work??

she doesnt sound like much help tbh. how about getting a mothers help instead? she would do housework, dressing and probably be an older person too, with more experience.

i didnt think nannys needed to go to college

If it's not working for you, I'd forget it. You have enought on your plate

As she is a student nanny perhaps she's not quite right for you. She obviously has a lot to learn and you are busy with 2 children so you don't really have time to be her "teacher".

Maybe try sit down with her and explain things like clearing away after lunch and engaging with your DS during play. If she still doesn't get it then she's gonna be a useless nanny!!

Be clear with her about you needing her in the mornings and if she can't do it then she needs to go. If she wants to be a nanny she can't choose what times she wants to work.

YANBU - student or not, she needs to take this seriously as there are children involved.

Sounds like more trouble than it's worth!

How does it work, anyway, having a student nanny? I've often wondered about having people here on childcare courses but don't know how it works. Do you pay them? Are there set times? Who would I contact.

Sorry to hijack completely!

I would be miffed in your situation, though - will you report back to the college? Or are they hoping you can be part of her 'training'? Do you need to be saying to her these things - 'you need to remember to clear up after feeding a charge' or 'you can't just watch a charge play, you need to engage with him and play with him' or even 'do you think this is the right career for you?'. You'd think someone wanting to be a nanny would actually like playing with children.

biddysmama - its a child care course. The final placement as well.

She is lovely, just not at all confident or pro active.

If she is training then her college must have someone who is responsible for her. I would contact them and ask what she has been taught and what the expectations are. You need to be really clear in your instructions. Why can't she get a tattoo in the evening or at weekends?

No you don't pay them, they have to do 6 hours decided by you, between 8am-7pm. You have to do a bit of paperwork to sign off what they can do etc. Can they change a nappy etc etc.

She is a bit miffed I'm breastfeeding too as she wants to "practice bottles"

aaah, easrly year course?

thats what i did, final placement measn she should be qualified soon

if its easly years then she has already done her school,nursery,special needs placements, maybe she is aiming to do a different job, teaching assistant, nursery nurse and she is only there because she has to be?

i would have words, there must be paperwork you have to fill in, what about visits from her tutors?

So how do you get one, MarryPoppins? Do I need to just call the local college and ask them if they need placements for their childcare students? Have you done this before?

Do you pay for her ? If you don't then YABU, as she is a student then I would say it is part of your responsibility to support her so explain that if you had a paid nanny you would expect her to clean up after the children.

Also maybe teach her to lie going for a tattoo is an awful reason to miss a session, far better to either do it in her own time or say she is at the doctors instead.

It sounds you probably need to guide her abit more, rather than expecting her to take the intiative. She's probably not had any experince with children, which is what she's with you to gain (Im guessing you're not paying her?). I would be treating her more as an extra pair of hands, and telling her every step of the way what she needed to do, but not standing over her while she does it iykwim! She may well surprise you if she's with you for a while and grows in experience and confidence.

I think getting a tattoo should be done in her own time. If it was a dental appt fair enough. Are you expected to give a report to the college on her, is it an actual work experience or just voluntary? Be honest, she doesn't seem to have much idea.

If she isn't engaging with ds in play, it might be because she has to observe what a 2yo does and make notes for her studies, but this shouldn't be all the time! It doesn't seem as though he likes her much either.

I think you have two choices; let her stay on and tell her eveything you expect her to do, every day, or phone the college and ask if there is anyone else available. Of course the mention of your having to call the college might make her pull up her socks if she's just trying it on to see what she can get away with.

She is a student and there to learn, you shouldn't have offered to take on students if you didn't have the time to help them learn imo.

You have to remember that she's young, most likely not confident in her abilities; especially if she's come from other placements as many I went to organised by my college treated me like dirt tbh and a lot do. Also she's in a setting with the parent of the child she's supposed to be watching, so is probably nervous as hell that she'll do something 'wrong' and honestly, what you're taught to do in a childcare setting is completely different to what a parent may want you to do so it's all new to her.

But she seems to have no initiative, porphy. if this is her final placement before finishing her course, how will she manage in paid employment? If she can't or won't ask how the family would like things done? Doesn't think to clear a few dishes away, even if she doesn't wash them up straight away because she's busy with the toddler? And since when do students get to be miffed at their family's choice of babyfeeding? She's got a lot to learn.

How many years has she done?

I did a three year early childhood course with first year specialising in nanny placements. I'll be forever greatful for one of the mothers commenting on areas I could work on eg communication and multi tasking. It's very hard work going into peoples homes so i would be very direct in what she has to do. Give plenty of constructive critisim(sp?) using the "sandwich approach" eg you made ds a lovely balanced lunch today, it would be really great if you could clean up after lunch, ds loves how you read's books".

I'm probably one of the few nannies that think "we" should have training and more support/guidance from one place. Kinda like what OFSTED is meant to do.

BTW I gratuated with a high merit 12 years ago and still love working with children, communication is something I'll always struggle with although none of the people I've worked for have picked up on that.

Well, TBH, you do sound a bit ungrateful but then again, I'm a bit that she wants time off to get a tattoo? Can't she get one at the weekend???

She's been there 3 days which really isn't much. She's clearly young and I think a lot of young people lack initiative and confidence. You or I would just muck in and tidy up, get stuck in playing etc but she probably needs to be asked to do those things. Why not give her a written list of what you expect?

I had a similar experience last year with a girl who also was working at a nursery. ds switched the tv on as he was so bored. I bought lots of new games, puzzles etc but there was no interaction.

She was there to help me out as I hadn't been very well but it was more hassle than it was worth. I felt I had another child to look after. Not sure she was cut out to work with children at all.

She was been paid btw.

If she is a student on placement then you have a duty to 'teach' her. I think you have to expect that she isn't going to be some magical mary poppins, and that part of the deal is that you give her specific guidance on what she needs to do to get it right. She is not your mate helping you out.

How about a little review: 'you've been here for three days now: you do XYZ really well, but there are xxx specific things you need to work on a bit more and they are.... Be specific ('for example, yesterday you should have put the stuff in the dishwasher and wiped down the surfaces/got on the floor and played with the brio for about 20 mins'). Finish with a bit more praise.

Separately, you need to think about why your DS wants rid of her: does he associate her with less time with you? would she be more use to you taking newborn out for a long walk so you can play with ds? Or is she just boring/does she need more direction in what he finds fun? He's a bit little to be spending a lot of time on the naughty step for disliking a stranger.

The breastfeeding bit is weird, though if she's been told by her tutors to expect that then I can understand why she's annoyed/worried that she won't get a chance. The tattoo is just typical young-person-ignorance!

Please remember that most of these students have not had much experience, even in their final year and have always been told what to do and have never before had an opportunity to use their iniative so it is important to keep reminding them. I constantly forgot about the dishes or bed sheets in my nanny job and it took me a few weeks to remember to do them!

It's only now that I feel comfortable taking over and using my iniative because I've gained confidence in my skills as a childcarer and confidence in my self, but I never would have felt comfortable with that if I hadn't have gotten my nanny job and had an understanding MB who wanted it to work out and wanted to help me learn how to do things to my full potential. You need to do the same in this situation and even though she might not appreciate the 'guidance' now, further down the line she will realise how much help you gave her even if it was just to prod her in the right direction.

I think many people expect too much of young people, and young people equally feel that they can take on adult resposibilities but they can't yet. We don't come as ready made adults and most of us are still learning the ropes. Be blunt but friendly, should she genuinely want to work with kids, she'll be eager to do anything to get there.

Thanks very much for the advice. She is lovely, just young and in need of lots of guidance and I am VERY tired and a bit drained, which isn't her fault. I just thought after 3 years and this being her final placement I wouldn't need to do as much as I am to support her. But thats the gamble and all students are different. Next week, new week, have a chat and fingers crossed......just hope she likes her tatoo!