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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

or was this lady on the bus?

25 replies

NarabugHitWindscreen · 27/04/2010 18:57

Ok, s'cuse me for being in a foul mood (red army marching....) and pleeeese excuse me for bringing up the well-flogged-dead-horse of buggies on buses, but was I being unreasonable in this encounter?

Ok, I was waiting at the bus stop with DD in her pram (a mothercare My3 for those familiar with one, not the easiest to fold but I usually walk everywhere), and there was a lady waiting with 3 bags of shopping already, as well as some other peeps.

Bus arrives and stops directly in front of me, but I let the people on first as they were there first, including the lady with shopping - she stops to let me first but I usher her in, after all she had been waiting longer. There is already a buggy on the bus, but it can fit two, but the lady with the bags goes and sits in the remaining flippy-seat area, and puts her bags in the space. I hop on and flash my pass to the driver, and ask the lady if I she wouldn't mind me using the space for the buggy, she replies (very politely I must add) "Oh no love, I've put my bags here now", I offer to help her move them into the rack if she'd like, and explain that there isn't anywhere else I can put the buggy, she responds "thats ok, they are fine here thank you."

Driver shrugs, I have no choice but to hop off the bus as I'm getting tutted for holding it up, I then wait for the next one, by which point DD is screaming (having chucked every single dummy I bought with me onto the floor) and my ice cream has melted = one unhappy Nbug

Was I? I was too exhausted to argue the point (having bad spell) and didn't know if I was in the right anyway.....

OP posts:

withorwithoutyou · 27/04/2010 18:59

Depends if there were many seats nearby

LilRedWG · 27/04/2010 19:00

She was rude but probably didn't even realise it. the bus driver sounds useless though.

Original poster

NarabugHitWindscreen · 27/04/2010 19:00

Sorry, neglected that detail, bus was very far from full, lots of completely empty double seats and nothing in the baggage racks

OP posts:

pippop1 · 27/04/2010 19:00

Sounds as if she was deaf and didn't hear you properly.

skidoodly · 27/04/2010 19:02

YANBU, that lady was on the bus

Original poster

NarabugHitWindscreen · 27/04/2010 19:04

Thats true pip, I didn't think of that. I'm probably just being hormonal (spoons in sloppy icecream between sobs)

OP posts:

runnybottom · 27/04/2010 19:05

Did you spell it out for her? I had similar recently with a man who had 3 boxes of beer. After polite approcahes like yours, I simply said (in a steely but still pleasant voice) "you need to move your stuff as you are in the only space available for me. I am not leaving the bus"

JaneS · 27/04/2010 19:07

That is incredibly rude of her, actually. You'd let her on first!

Earlybird · 27/04/2010 19:08

Was she very old?

What would have happened if you just stayed on the bus? Maybe you could have done (even though you were blocking), as the bus wasn't crowded?

Firawla · 27/04/2010 19:09

yanbu, if there are other seats and nowhere else for the buggy then she has to move. you could have asked the driver to tell her, driver has done this for me before when people insist on parking suitcases, toolbox or whatever else in the only space left for buggies. but can understand that if you're in a mood already just can't be bothered. atleast you didn't have a go @ her or anything, which can also be quite tempting when you are already in a mood.

Original poster

NarabugHitWindscreen · 27/04/2010 19:21

Early, she wasn't very old, I'd guess middle-aged.

Fira, I was just too knackered to argue, I'm not a red-blooded kinda person (but I did kinda feel like making her eat the cat litter in her bag). Driver had dark glasses on, avoided looking at anyone or getting involved.

OP posts:

OTTMummA · 27/04/2010 19:23

Ive had this before with ppl and mahooosive suitcases!
theres always been plenty of seats etc, and space for their house on wheels in the luggage part, i just don't think they understand, and yes you have to point it out quite firmly and clearly.
YADNBU, she was BU and rude, did she not think you would need that space as she offered you to go on first?!

Coldhands · 27/04/2010 19:29

YANBU, who cares how old she was.

She should have moved and the driver should have made of her if she refused for you.

LittleSilver · 27/04/2010 19:31

Wow, how rude. Of course yanbu. I applaud you for getting off the bus politely!

Baconsarnie · 27/04/2010 22:03

I think you were very restrained and NBU at all!

EricNorthmansmistress · 27/04/2010 22:13

Apologies for this but...I think you were daft to have got off the bus. Seriously, are you a pushover? (sorry) Because of course she should have moved, and getting off the bus just let her continue with her twattery.

Today I moved out of the flip seat next to DS's buggy so that a woman could park her monster pram sideways instead of half sticking out. Two people with suitcases had squished right up to let her in. She just ignored the extra space and texted for ten minutes, with two people half on top of each other looking bemused, her buggy sticking out and a whacking great space next to her. Bus travellers are odd in general
(car broke down irretrievably yesterday and very bitter about having to take bus emoticon)

MiladyDeWinter · 27/04/2010 22:36

I might have got off the bus too EricNorthmansmistress in a hormonal state and exhausted. I haven't slept for more than three hours at a time in nearly three years and it does things to you.

Then again I may well have gone the other way and ranted incoherently to all and sundry

You sound lovely OP, YWNBU, far from it.

Horrible inconsiderate lady. Enjoy the rest of your ice-cream.

honeydragon · 27/04/2010 22:54

yanbu

I nearly always try to fold my pram - or - good trick this - say to the driver do I need to fold up the pram?

He/She either says tes please and if you are lucky - helps

or "no luv" and makes annoying people move out the way.

Personally I would have tried standing their until the driver had to ask you to get off, or made the spiteful cow move.

SugarMousePink · 27/04/2010 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ripeberry · 27/04/2010 23:00

Don't use buses, drive !

SlartyBartFast · 27/04/2010 23:01

how dare she!!!

SirBoobAlot · 27/04/2010 23:05

How rude... I hope she did mishear you or whatever, or at least felt guilty afterwards!!

You're a better woman than I, I wouldn't have been quite so pleasant.

IveStillGotIt · 28/04/2010 00:31

I think she was trying to be smart, with the polite way she said "there fine here thanks" when you asked her to move bags.
I used to get smart arses like her on buses when ds was a baby, and i would be polite at first, but if they refused to move, after me asking nicely, and especialy if there was lots of empty seats, i would just ram my buggy in the space anyway, over the top of their bags!!!
I would be too scared to do this now though! But if i do have anymore dc, i would still stand my ground until they move.
YANBU, she was and so was the driver for not backing you up!

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 28/04/2010 00:58

Gosh, how rude. and I understand why you got off, too; there's enough public opinion out there about how dare mothers with big prams take up all that space in the world, especially on buses, can you believe the cheek - so you don't ever want to be a nuisance.

But it was totally her in the wrong.

Henny1995 · 28/04/2010 02:37

Sweetie, she was a bit of a baggage, but move on. Not worth getting in a tiz about. Life's too short. x

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