To be upset about this

[AbsOfCroissant]

So, the first part of this saga was a couple of months ago, when my darling colleagues didn't give me anything for my birthday - no card, no presents, even though, up to that point they had always given stuff. Apparently, they decided that they weren't going to do it anymore, but hadn't told me. Next person's birthday came around, and they did a car. Which obviously made me feel fabulous
Then, later, stupid idiot (will stop now as there will be a lot of swearing) boss said "oh, we didn't know it was your birthday", despite greeting me in the morning with "happy birthday!" and asking what I was doing, and eating all the cake I'd brought in. So, on the whole, not overly fond of most of these people.

Now, I've resigned (for a number of reasons). Traditionally, there would be a collection from the whole department (not the team), but my colleague has now said Nope. They're just signing a chuffing card,

Maybe I should just give up and realise that these people are a bunch of wankers, who I will be more than happy to see the back of. But I'm still hurt (other people I've worked with are genuinely upset that I'm leaving, have told me as such, said that they would like to try and intervene to see if they could persuade senior management to make me a counter offer etc. etc.)

I can see why you are upset/annoyed, but it´s far nicer to get things from people because they really care rather than because they have been forced to.

Miserables sods, I would just be thankful that you are leaving.

My DH had something similar, nobody even did a card when he left after working there 5 bloody years. It was definitely hurtful at the time but he is well out of that job and now has a job he likes, with (mostly) nice people. Just think, in a few weeks' time you'll be doing something better and those miserable sods will still be stuck in that crappy office.

What a shame that the people who don't want you to leave haven't thought to arrange a leaving whip round? Or a drink after work etc.

Keep in contact with those you like and be glad to see the back of those you don't.

Can understand why you're hurt though, especially if it's the norm for a collection.

I remember your thread from before.
So hurtful, just be thankful you are out of there.
I hated my job so much, resigned, never spoke to any of them again. Bitchy, mean and nasty.
move on and forget them, they are not worth your time!! x

I remember your birthday card thread. You're well shot of these people -- what a sorry lot.

Probably nothing can stop you feeling slightly just now; but it'll only sting for a bit, and then you'll not mind any more because you'll have moved on and left them to their petty weirdness.

Office culture is so strange, isn't it? I know some workplaces are great, but in others it often seems that people just go along with whatever the prevailing winds suggest, and end up behaving as a group in all sorts of odd ways that in any other context they'd probably be ashamed of. And it's hard not to take it personally, esp in this case, but you must try not to!

Tell them to fuck off. They're shit bastards, so why would you want anything from them? Skip away and be grateful.

Hully cuts to the chase

thanks for the support!

Yip, a lot of them are complete wankers. One colleague, however, has now said she's going to arrange it. I've been here nearly 4 years. It used to be a really nice team, very friendly, we all got on very well and worked together brilliantly, and then these two idiots were hired as managers and it's been downhill since then.

Oh well, the nasty ones can just go to hell

I think i remember then other thread too, what a bunch of losers. I'd be upset too but i'm glad your out of there now. I'm sure your new colleagues will be nice,normal,friendly people

Man, I hope so. I can't handle working in another poisonous environment like this. The people I met in the interviews were really, really lovely

I remember your previous thread. Be insanely happy that you'll be out of the place shortly, thank heavens you'll be shot of the people forever mwa ha ha!
You can really rub it in by twirling your hair, seeming absentminded, gazing into nothingness and saying "Gosh, I'm sorry I was miles away, drawing up my handover list (if its boss enquiring), holiday to do things (if it's colleagues),shopping for clothes for new job, planning children's playdates etc (if it's someone you really hate). Childish, me?

I always take my birthday off as leave. Who wants to work on their birthday!

Ah, idiots for managers, that'll fuck it up every time! {grin}

Glad they're doing something for you now.

I've left 2 jobs in the last 4 years - first job was lovely, I left due to relocation and they got me a gift and card and we all went out to dinner. One of my colleagues who lived a 40 min train ride away came in specially for the dinner. Two of my colleagues bought me further gifts in addition to putting in to the team's collection. I have now returned to the area and I work close to their building and they regularly invite me for team lunches still (I left that job 3 and a half years ago) and they had a collection for my wedding last summer.

The other job I left this time last year. They had a collection and gave me the cash in an envelope - including all the slummy and shrapnel. About 3 people turned up to my leaving drinks (out of a team of 40+).

It's not you, it's them. The team at my more recent job was a very unhappy bunch and they have serious morale issues - people come and go all the time and everyone is miserable. The previous team is more or less as it was when I left - a happy ship, all the same faces are still there - they have a very low attrition rate.

Don't feel bad about it, as my mother always says - people who aren't very nice are usually people who aren't very happy. I would say their lack of interest is more likely to be due to their own unhappiness at work than any personal feelings they may have towards you. The next place will be better I hope.