To have a social life of my own from now on ?

[happygolovely]

Arranged a sitter for me a dp this Saturday gone we ended up staying in beause our friends were busy, I felt put out becuase I thought it would be nice the two of us to spend some time alone,since then I have started to make plans to go out with friends aibu not to bother arranging nights for us anymore as he is a boring get.

depends how you want your relationship to end up!

If you have a problem, try and fix it before it gets too serious. Take it from me, I'm trying to put our lives back together after DH has gone out and had an affair.

Im sorry to hear that ,it must be very hard for you I wish you all the best.
Our relationship has become dull I make all the effort and had enough so started to have my own life if I dont it will be very boring.

thanks, I am OK, I just need some time to get over it.

But looking back, really small problems that were just brushed away actually festered and it meant that DH felt an affair was the answer (stupid man!). I think a conversation would have been the answer, but never mind!

It all depends how your relationship is. My DH isn't very social, either, but I'm okay with that. We go out together, just the two of us occasionally, but I have lovely friends and do stuff with them on my own when I can. DH and I are very close and happy AND we do enjoy hanging out at home after DCs are in bed, so it's not a case of not having any time at all together...I think as long as you're both okay with those differences, it can work out.

What did he say when you told him how you felt?

depends.

how did the conversation go when your friends cancelled? did you not suggest that you two went out anyway? did he refuse? did you tell him you wanted to go out with just him?

if you said you really wanted to go out with just him and have a nice night and he point blank refused to go out with you then YANBU.

I said I thought it would be nice to do something on our own, he said well I havent got undressed, he was working taking calls from his business,I got changed because he then sat watching football, I asked him what do you want to do and threw some ideas at him he said I dont know?
He grabbed a beer so I cleared off to get some wine on the understanding he didnt care thats how it always is? I make the effort all the time he never comes up with any ideas and he never is keen on the suggestions I make.

I know how you feel, but TBH i find i have to get rat arsed to enjoy anyones company or find anyone remotly interesting,, i haven't had alcohol for over 3 yrs, i am one seriously board Housewife.

i think you should have a talk and try and make a date night, or find a hobby you both like etc.

Ottmumma Im sorry you feel like that may I ask why you dont drink?is this through choice are you on your own? sounds like you need hug

well, my DS is 2.3yrs old, and i was pregnant for 9 months, in which i didn't drink, and my last merry time was the new years ( 3 months before falling pregnant )
I just don't trust anyone else really to fully look after him if something went wrong IYKWIM, so i never have more than a glass of wine or a cider shandy etc, no spirits,,
I know its silly but i feel like im on duty 24/7, always on edge that something is going to go wrong,, i don't feel like i can loose control or have much fun like i used to.

Now i just have a afternoon here and there to relax and catch up on sky+ lol.

im sure when he's older an more able i will start up my social life again( crosses fingers and starts to pray! )

Ottmumma is their a reason why you dont trust anyone what about your partner ?everyone needs a break sometimes ,hope you dont mind me saying you sound depressed going out would be good for you.

I used to stay in all the time and never go out but I had pnd, im fine now and as for trust it takes time time I would of never left my kids as I couldnt relax but they stay overnight at grand[parent sometimes Im comfartable doing this now 4 years later but I know the people I leave them with I trust with my life .