to wish that my friends would let me talk about how i feel about giving birth

[hurtnamechanger]

I had a really traumatic birth experience and I'm pregnant again.

I did feel like I need to talk to someone about it after it happened. DH and I have talked about it a bit but I feel like I need to explain it to someone who wasn't there, if that makes any sense?

I tried to talk to a few close friends shortly after the birth, and without fail every one of them changed the subject.

It really isn't something I bang on about or talk about very often - in fact I've never had the chance to talk about it as every time I mention it the subject is closed down.

I'm quite stressed at the moment deciding whether to have an ELCS or a VBAC. Haven't spoken to anyone about it really at all.

One of my friends just sent me an email asking how I was, so I mentioned that I had a consultant appt this week, am really nervous about it and can't decide what to do. She's replied to the email with absolutely no acknowledgement of what I've said about the consultant appt at all not even a "ooh, tricky decision" she's actually responded as though I never said anything.

I have spoken to birth trauma association who have been helpful, but ordinarily if something disresses me I would talk to my friends, but none of them seem to want to hear it.

I do think part of the problem is that most of them have never given birth, so for some reason they think I'm just trying to tell them a horror story for the fun of it. A couple of my friends have given birth without any problems whatsoever and I know they think I'm just overreacting

derkinsdame - I had no idea that you could talk to someone in the health profession about it. I ended up having counselling privately because I wanted another child but was terrified the same things would happen again.

My Doctor never mentioned anything either, but she was very helpful and I had all my antenatal appointments with her and she reassured me as much as possible, bless her. The hospital were also fantastic the second time too. It was a different PCT and hospital which I am sure made a difference.

thehills - basically I got the birthtrauma assoc to recommend someone then I asked my GP to refer me, to deal with the trauma as I was suffering nightmares, f;ashbacks and auditory flashbacks, too. The consultant went through my case notes, and went ballistic at some of the things that went on - she wrote a very damning report of the treatment I had and some of the things she told me about things that had been done incorrectly made a lot of things fall into place. i would thoroughly recommend it to anyone suffering from birth trauma.