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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to kick him in the bollocks if he says,,,

14 replies

biddysmama · 26/04/2010 10:09

"you are pregnant, not ill" one more time!!

i'm 24 weeks and ive got really bad pelvic pain, seriously feels like its broken! i have a 24lb toddler as well that has to be carried up and down stairs and pushed in her pram etc...

ive asked dp to help with carrying things and asked him to take over with ds's while i rest and he keeps saying it... feel like i'm gunna explode!

OP posts:

Sonilaa · 26/04/2010 10:11

Ohh I feel with you, was in the same situation last year. at least I got my toddler to climb the stairs himself...

mamas12 · 26/04/2010 10:13

/an answer for you
If you /won't help me then I will be ill ok

YesYouMust · 26/04/2010 10:14

Yes i'm pregnant not a fucking robot = Standard response.

TrillianAstra · 26/04/2010 10:15

YABU - you shouldn't kick people.

But right now you are pregnant and ill.

Original poster

biddysmama · 26/04/2010 10:16

i say kick him the bollocks, i couldnt get my leg that high anyway

OP posts:

warthog · 26/04/2010 10:18

yeah, kick.

zipzap · 26/04/2010 10:23

Point out that exactly, you are pregnant and that is why you need help. And that means that things happen to your body that are well documented, that, whilst not being ill, are known effects that mean you cannot always carry on as normal. This includes the relaxin making your ligaments stretchy which leads to lots of women getting SPD (which it sounds like you might have by the way, I had it twice and it's miserable, commiserations. have you spoken to the midwife about it and got an elastic support belt for your hips as a starting point and a physio referral?)

If SPD gets bad then as pregnancy progresses you will end up needing crutches or even wheelchair as you won't be able to walk - how will he cope then?

Oh and make sure that whenever complains about something, point out that 'you are a man, you are not ill and you are not even pregnant'.

I know some people sail through pregnancy and feel all glowing and wonderful and that is great for them. (Five and two years on I am still waiting for the mid pregnancy bloom to appear...) But for lots of people pregnancy provides all sorts of miseries and changes and instances where they are not ill but different and they do need all sorts of different support that they do not need when not pregnant.

Good luck and hope you can get your dh to understand, sounds like he is saying it as a convenient way to not to have to deal with providing you with the extra support that you need...

cupcakesandbunting · 26/04/2010 10:51

YANBU (assuming that the kicking him in the bollocks part was hyperbole )

I had SPD and it's put me off having any more babies. I know how much it can debilitate you, never mind having it and running about after a toddler.

Tell husband to man up and take some weight off you.

Mumcentreplus · 26/04/2010 11:20

ok..perhaps a kick in the bollocks is a bit much (for you)...how bout a karate chop to the wind-pipe?

maltesers · 26/04/2010 11:28

I wouldnt joke about it MUMcentreplus.. . . .Your DP, BIDDYSMAMMA, is insensitive and has no idea the pain you are in ,. and i know us females dont complain easily. I think he is being tatally unreasonable . If he was in pain,,,you would surely hear about it. Tell him you are pregnant and in a lot of pain, and if he doesnt listen and sympathise then he is a self centred man.

Mumcentreplus · 26/04/2010 11:38

Ok Ok..just a poke in the eye then!!

OP I went through the same thing extreme pains in my pelvic area...fortunately my DH was very supportive...you need to speak to him and really let him know you need his help and support

Firawla · 26/04/2010 16:19

yanbu he is being v unsupportive and sounds like he is being quite horrible actually

clam · 26/04/2010 16:30

Sounds like it's more than time for you to have a major pregnancy-hormone induced tantrum.

Original poster

biddysmama · 28/04/2010 12:07

thanks everyone, midwife came today and told me i have spd,and ive to try and take it easy that if it gets alot worse i may end up with crutches/wheelchair, i found some info on it last night and showed him and i think he's starting to understand i'm not just moaning about a bit of aches and pains!

i pointed out to him that if i dont get chance to take it easy that i will end up in crutchs/a wheelchair and he will have to do everything, not the few things i am asking him to do! and we would have to pay someone to do the school run (i dont drive)every day! and he would have to go to asda (something i do on my own cos ds gets sensory overload and isnt fun!)

hopefully he will be a bit more sympathetic!

OP posts:

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