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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel you shouldn't expect people to sponsor you for Race4Life if you're not going to make an effort?

76 replies

StableButDeluded · 24/04/2010 23:39

Perhaps it's just me being weird, but I can't shake the feeling that asking people for money to do a 'race' and then making no effort whatsoever to improve your fitness at all-so you're basically having a nice stroll-is somehow wrong?

I have a friend who is 'doing' raceforlife this year and she has already rolled her eyes at the mere idea of putting a little effort into improving her fitness so she can jog or even just part-jog the race. She's perfectly healthy, there's no reason she couldn't train a bit, but she just doesn't want to. And I know it's all for a good cause and it's not cos I'm too mean to give, but it really annoys me. I suppose i just think 'what's the point of doing a race then? You may as well sit on your arse and just donate a few quid online'

I did the race for life myself a few years ago, made a bit of an effort to train and felt very proud that I jogged the whole thing. I felt I earned my sponshorship money. So I was really suprised on the day to find whole swathes of people not even attempting to jog, not even doing a brisk walk, but just ambling along. I'd just be too embarrassed to ask people to give me money for doing that.

And obviously I'm not talking about people who have a medical condition that means even walking is an effort, etc, i'm talking your average fairly healthy woman. And I know it shouldn't really matter if it's for charity I suppose. But my niece recently trekked the Great Wall of China for Cancer Research, her mother (my SIL) died of breast cancer at 42 when my niece was 9. So to me, that kind of makes a mockery of people who are fit and well asking to be sponsored to basically have a stroll.

So,AIBU? and a grumpy old bag?

OP posts:
flibbertigibbert · 25/04/2010 00:35

Thanks for the kind words. I wasn't too bothered about the comments - I was the fat girl at school so I heard a lot worse. It's just such a horrible attitude to have at an event like that. I was proud of myself for running as much as I did, and managing to turn up at all. I still have the medal hanging on my wall . I'm planning another 5k this year and I intend to run all the way round this time.

I think as long as anyone does their best and tries hard it doesn't matter if you run it in 25 minutes or walk it in 2 hours!

JustAnotherManicMummy · 25/04/2010 00:38

Ok, I'm having an issue (this is AIBU so I think I'm allowed ).

It's one thing to want to make something more challenging, but quite another to not actually complete the sponsored event.

I would not pay my sponsorship money if someone didn't complete the R4L... although I would want the charity to benefit so would make my donation direct.

This business of "making an effort" makes it about the person being sponsored, instead of the charity/cause being supported.

Original poster
StableButDeluded · 25/04/2010 00:55

Ok, so you're overweight and unfit. I was overweight and unfit. Four stone, to be exact. I was like Flibbertigibbert, I could barely jog for a minute to start with. But I followed a beginners jogging guide and I gradually got fitter.

It's all relative, I never said I think everyone should jog-i don't care if people go at a snail's pace if that's all they can genuinely do. The point being that they are trying, doing the best they can.

Am now starting to wonder- given that I have indeed been proved to be VVU, bitchy and in the minority - do you then all think it would be ok for your child to ask people to sponsor them for a physical challenge, take the money, but not actually make any effort to do anything beyond the bare minimum, even though you know there's no reason they can't?

Is that any different?

OP posts:
JustAnotherManicMummy · 25/04/2010 00:58

I don't think it makes any difference who is doing it. Child or not.

But it is about doing it. As long as it gets done the method is irrelevent really (obv not dangerous etc etc)

pigletmania · 25/04/2010 00:59

YABU as long as money is raised for charity so what! Its not like its the London Marathon is it!

Original poster
StableButDeluded · 25/04/2010 01:02

Moominfamily, my comment wasn't meant for you, I'm sorry I'm a very slow typer (i have a disability) and I was replying to the lady who said she's had chemo just before she did the race.
and I agree with you manicmummy-I would donate direct as well if someone did not finish.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 25/04/2010 01:31

I would agree with you if the money raised was for their own personal cause, but it isn't!

Regardless of how fit they are, if they complete the Race4life, Cancer Research will will benefit from their efforts. I don't think it matters how fit you are, if you do it & raise money for such a good cause, good on you!

differentnameforthis · 25/04/2010 01:39

"you're supposed to make an effort"

But the effort is on DOING it & making it over that finish line, not whether you walk, run or crawl!

StealthPolarBear · 25/04/2010 07:38

it's an interesting point OP
when we were younger sponsoring people did seem to be about them challenging themselves, doing something they normally wouldn't/couldn't do (so, yes, if that means an incredibly unfit / overweight person jogging at my pace then fine). But now people are sponsored for what seems like everyday events, the 'challenge' part has been lost. Just seems to be how it is now.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 25/04/2010 07:47

Actually I think YANBU, there are so many things people want to be sponsored for nowadays, all for usually worthwhile charities that I would (and do) only sponsor people who are actually challenging themselves in some way. Otherwise I might as well just donate the money straight to charity and they can sit at home and watch TV.

"But the effort is on DOING it & making it over that finish line, not whether you walk, run or crawl!"

In this instance it's 5k most human beings who aren't suffering from disability or sickness should be able to do this distance without crawling or it being challenging, if they can't they need to take a hard look at there lifestyle.

rookiemater · 25/04/2010 07:53

Mmm I think YANBU. No matter how worthy the cause there are a large number of sponsored charity events and rightly or wrongly when I sponsor someone I feel that as I am giving them money they should be putting a bit of effort into it.

Now for some people walking 5k is a big ask and particularly so if they have been through medical treatment, but if the person is fit and healthy then it seems a bit of a swizz for the OP to hand over their hard earned cash for the person sponsored to do a slow and enjoyable amble around the park and then feel good about their fund raising efforts, when really all they have done is had the nerve to ask all their nearest and dearest for money.

I'm planning to do a 10k in June, although as I have just had surgery I may not be able to do as much training as I had hoped. If I am not able to train for it then either I won't do it, as I have already paid the entrance fee at least I have raised something, or if I haven't done much I will get people to guess what time I come in so at least it will be of interest to them.

Earthstar · 25/04/2010 08:12

Your money, your decision, just don't sponsor people who you don't think you will get value for money from if that is important to you.

I sponsor people as a way of supporting the charity and would personally be unbothered about how much training someone had done. I think this event is more of a coming together in essence than it is any kind of sporting challenge.

I think keeping fit is worthwhile but that marathon running is a waste of
time that would be better spent helping old people tbh

NarabugHitWindscreen · 25/04/2010 09:05

I don't think it matters if you walk, run, crawl, cartwheel, or just sit on you bum and shuffle 5km, you are still giving up your time to raise some money for a good cause.

Race for Life is inclusive, and people can take part even if they are unable to run for whatever reason. I am doing Race for Life this year, walking and pushing DD in her buggy. I've walked it most years, I am very overweight, but I do put in the effort.

For most of the walkers it isn't a stroll in the park, I for one try to powerwalk it, break a sweat, get out of breath, put some effort in etc. But at the end of the day its not about who is the fastest/fittest, we're all there for the same reason.

But, if you don't want to sponsor, don't sponsor, I don't have a problem with that as its your choice.

mustrunmore · 25/04/2010 09:14

Really, its ultimately up to the participant to try their best. I know that there's no way I'd ask for sponsor omney if I hadnr tried my absolute best, and only I can be the jusge of that. EG, pre kids I did it in 22minutes as a PB, last year I did 28minutes, this year I'll be lucky if I do under 35minutes due to total lack of training for a few months. For this reason, I'll be donating myself, not asking for sponsors, cos I know its my own sorry fault that I'm in this state. Next year I will hopefully be fit again, and feel justified in getting sponsorship (altho then it'd be for 10k runs not 5km).
IMO tho, I agree, I wouldnt sponsor someone who wasnt bothering to make an effort without good reason. It just goes against the point of being sponsored. The cause would get money from me anyway, I have no issues with donating for causes I believe in.

Olifin · 25/04/2010 09:27

I don't think YABU. I agree that doing a sponsored event of any kind should involve making some effort. For an older person/someone with a disability or illness/someone overweight this might mean walking the Race for Life. BUT for all those 20-40 something women who are in good health; running or jogging it should be manageable; putting yourself out of of your comfort zone to earn money for a good cause isn't too much to ask!

I like to do the 10k races and while I sometimes find the training challenging, I am motivated by thinking about my mum and what she went through with the disease.

saslou · 25/04/2010 09:29

IMO YANBU to expect people to do the best they can in exchange for sponsorship. Obviously everyones 'best' will be different, but I would feel cheeky asking people for money and not making any effort

NarabugHitWindscreen · 25/04/2010 09:41

I agree with you Olifin, needless to say if I wasn't overweight I would definately be running, I would LOVE to run Race For Life one day!

Olifin · 25/04/2010 09:46

Something to aim for in the future nara!

NarabugHitWindscreen · 25/04/2010 09:50

Absolutely Oli, gotta get past some persnal stuff first and I have over 9stone to lose so a long way to go, but for now I will keep walking it every year that I can, and it may 'only' be walking but I will still give it 100% as I totally agree, everyone should make an effort.

porcamiseria · 25/04/2010 09:51

I kined of see where you are coming from, my 2 friends are doing it and I know one has at least bought some trainers! I think its sponsorship fatigue........

ScreaminEagle · 25/04/2010 09:56

This reply has been deleted

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Meglet · 25/04/2010 09:57

YANBU. Not making an effort is taking the piss IMO. Fair enough if someone is ill and unable to run, but dawdling along and chatting because you can't be bothered to move faster is not playing fair if you ask me.

I'm crap at race for life but when I do it I put some training in and run the damn thing even if it knackers me out.

Thats an uncharacteristically stroppy post from me. I got so annoyed at race for life having to make my way past everyone gossiping .

Olifin · 25/04/2010 09:59

Sounds great nara You're giving it 100% and what more could your sponsors ask of you?

Enjoy it

ScreaminEagle · 25/04/2010 09:59

This reply has been deleted

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Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 25/04/2010 10:11

"If you're going to take that attitude of 'making an effort' i guess that Rick Hoyt who does IronMan every year by his aged rather pushing/carrying/dragging him around shouldnt bother because he isnt actually doing anything..his dad is doing all the work! "

Yes his Dad is doing all of the work but they are BOTH pushing their boundaries they are not ambling along discussing where they are going for a cup of tea on Tuesday.