To feel narked that dh is away for weekend and moaning

[mrsflux]

Dh is away all weekend(fri afternoon till late sun) doing one of his hobbies. Leaving me and ds who is 1 at home.
He's just rang and moaned about not sleeping(!) the hotel, etc. Then told me he had to go to the pub after his moan.
It's a hard life!!

meanwhile ds is a very grumpy boy teething.

tell him to come home if it is that bad

i would give him short shrift and book yourself a night or two away as well

YANBU

YADEfNBU!

yeah book that weekend away now and have the details ready for when he's back...

I think I am owed one now. Not sure when/if I'll ever get to claim it tho.

YADNBU!

DH does similar to me - comes home 30 minutes before DC's go to bed, when I have been with them all day, and moans about how exhausting they are!

You are owed - so where are you going to go

Oh and Ive just polished off ds's Easter egg as I needed chocolate. Is that mean of me?

nope - he'll never know!

besides i'm sure you've got years of him pinching your stuff ahead of you

Definitely book a weekend for yourself.

grr! i am pissed now!

he rang at 10. not 8.30 like he said. he then was off with me because i wasn't very chatty, i did explain that i was tired after chasing round ds all day! he then said he wasn't going to be home till 10.30PM tomorrow! i asked him on friday and he said 8.
that means i'll be in bed when he gets home as i'm at work on monday, i'll definitely have to do everything again tomorrow including getting ds's stuff sorted for nursery. oh and i need to get my job application ready to hand in on monday. ( i was kind of hoping he might finish the jobs when he got home so i could chill (yes optimistic i know!)

i was ready for bed but now i am fed up!

YABU. One weekend with a 1 y/o and you're seething with resentment?? Get over yourself. My husband left. I'm alone every day of every week with a 6 y/o and a 2 y/o, both boys.

Why shouldn't your DH have a weekend to himself once in a while? One weekend with a one-year-old including, wow!, "getting his stuff sorted for nursery" (what does that entail? Putting some food and clothes in a bag? OMG, THE PRESSURE) is easy. Yes, even with a job application to finish. I work from home, I should know.

Make some fun plans for tomorrow, buck up, and for God's sake sound cheerful on the phone and seem pleased to see your DH tomorrow.

Bit of a thread killer BEAUTIFUL.

Though I'm sorry for your troubles - that sounds tough.

mrsflux, it's crap being stuck on your own with lo all w/end.

Speaking from experience, you really need to let your dh know how you feel, and insist on having your needs met.

Otherwise it can build into a simmering resentment that ultimately eats away at your relationship.

BEAUTIFUL no I am not seething with resentment. That would be unreasonable. I am very fed up.
I appreciate that your situation is very hard to cope with and I do have the upmost admiration for anyone bringing up dc on their own.
But we all have our own ideas of what is normal fir us and yes maybe I do have it easy at times.
I am fed up because if I or dh had the chance of a weekend away then I think we should make the most of it and enjoy ourselves. Not moan over little things. Oh and be grateful to the other one for being ok about it, not just forgetting about everything that needs doing.

For me weekends are a chance to get some good family time and we've missed out on that this week.

I would make sure that you get a weekend away and leave DH on his own with DS-then you don't have to feel resentful. It will also be good for DH and DS to have time alone. Turn it into a positive experience.

I read the title as OP was narked that her DH was MOANING not that she was narked he was away for the weekend.
I would be narked if my DH went away for the weekend for fun stuff and then moaned about it. So OP YANBU.

YANBU OP. Your DH is lucky enough to have a weekend away doing fun things and is moaning to you about it while you pick up the slack at home with the boring things!!

Beautiful - It is clearly hard for you in your situation but that does not mean that anyone not in your situation is not allowed to feel fed up once in a while!
If that were the case then only ONE person (the one with the hardest life) in the world would be allowed to moan ever! (and I bet it wouldnt be you) chin up

YANBU
Its the moaning that gets me too...and how is DC? mine play up when one of us is away too

How long before he decides this weekend away does not really count as he did not enjoy himself and he needs another one!

I'm home alone this weekend with DC 3 and DC 1 and DH has just texted to say he woke up early and so did not get his lie in on his weekend away with his mates so we phoned him to let him know the kids had a lie in for once and i was not up before 7.30 for the first time in 2 years

Beautiful - what a horrible post, totally uncalled for. There is stuff going on in my (and others) life/lives right now that would make your life look like a walk in the park - it doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel fed up with stuff in your life does it? Everyone is entitled to feel fed up with something happening to them, even if it's not on the scale of the Titanic sinking.

cat88 - so, you'll be asking DH to go away more often then!!

Mrsflux - I like being home with the LO's on my own, doing our own thing, no-one else to think about. However, if I was having a tiring day and the DH rang up & was moaning about his time away - I'd want to be sympathetic (it is disappointing when a weekend you have been looking forward to, treasuring, doesn't pan out how you want it to), but in reality I'd probably tell him that he needed to shut up and suck it up, because right now I don't want to hear about it!!!!

chippingin I was quite sympathetic. Well a bit but not very as I'd not slept well either due to ds's teeth which I didn't mention at the time as I didn't want to moan.

I think in the future I will let him know that I am very not keen on it and it'll have to be a pretty good reason too!

Where shall I go???

YANBU. DH did this once, went off on a walking weekend then complained about how little sleep he had because he ended up in the room beside the bathroom on an airbed, boo blinkin hoo.

The remedy is to make sure you get away, none of this ooh don't know when I can do it nonsense, men manage to put dates in the diary and stick to it and so should we. Book a weekend away with your friends and go.

I did a long ski weekend with girlfriends earlier this year in return for a number of walking weekends ( am still owed a few nights actually) and it was fabulous. Hard work though I was quite tired when I came back

YANBU

It must be annoying to have your DH moaning when he's on a break.

I've been a single parent for nearly 10 years now and in some ways it's easier because I know I have to get on with it and do it myself.

I would have said

'are you been dragged to the pub? No so go to bed in stead then.