To hate the Phrase 'Smile, it might never happen'

[NarkyKnickers]

People have no idea what is going on in someone elses life! And I think its always said with the implication that someone is being a miserable bugger!

Someone said it to DH today as we were paying for petrol. DH politely informed him that that his mother had just pasted away and that we were on our way to the hospital!!

YANBU, poor DH, hope he is ok.

Your poor dh.

Some people just don't think. I had that line said to me when I was in a wretched state when ds was in SCBU. I wish I'd have turned round and said 'it's already happening you twat'. It was in the hospital canteen as well, you would have to be a moron to use that line on somebody in a hospital.

It's patronising and rude. Violence may be the only solution at moments like these!

DH is fine, I on the otherhand wanted to slap the man around the face with a bat!

Lolapoppins, hope your DS is well now?

I totally agree with you.

Sorry for you and your DH.

The funny thing is I could be quite OK with myself, yeah ok so Im not grinning from ear to ear like the cheshire cat in Alice, but nothings bugging or upsetting me. Then some stupid twat thinks that its their job (IME its usually a man) to tell me to cheer up. That gets right on my tits and makes me wanna punch him, but then Id just be confirming what he thinks is right so I just ignore it now. However, if there was a reason why I was upset I would really put them in their place afterwards.

Condolences to your dh.

Hate the phrase too for exactly the same reasons NK gave in her OP and someone said it to a colleague after a stillbirth. Some ppl's timing re the "witty" remark stinks. Unfortunately I couldn't think beyond "just piss off" so said nothing. Glad your dh was able to be more articulate.

It annoys me beyond all bearing. It was said to me by a complete stranger when my DH had just died! Unfortunately I was far too fragile to do anything except ignore but HOW DARE THEY when they don't know your circumstances.

YANBU.

Sympathies to your family at this time

Oh god I HATE this phrase.

It was said to me when I was at school, feeling suicidal, had recently been abused and was trying to deal with the fact that my own mother never wanted me (I was brought up by my lovely nan). My friends knew all of this (not the suicidal part) and it was a 'friend' who said this. I just looked at them then they said "probably not the best thing to say". I said not really.

People are bloody plain ignorant sometimes and even if people aren't aware of someones personal situation, this is an awful thing to say as you can never know what is going on in someones life.

YANBU -

Well done to your DH for answering... hopefully this person will never say it again.

Narkyknickers - thanks, he most certainly is well! He is 7 years old now and you would never guess what a rotten start to life he had. I have never forgotten that stupid comment though.

I hate that phrase, winds me up no end!

Anyone who makes the remark is immediately (and permanently) labelled in my mind as someone with nothing useful to say, ever.

As I was walking toward the church for my Aunt's funeral (she was only 44), one of the funeral directors said this to me. The look of horror on his face as I turned into the gate was something I think she would have appreciated.

Oh yes, a nurse said this to me and my then boyfriend as he was waiting to be admitted to her ward to have his cancerous testicle removed......charming.

YAVDNBU

It's a hideous expression that leaves me wanting to inflict serious violence.

YANBU
a porter said a variation of that to me in hospital as he was wheeling me to theatre to have my miscarried baby scraped out of me

I was crying too much to comment.

Sorry about your loss.

I also had a total stranger say "Smile it can't be that bad" once in an elevator. If he only knew the hell that was going on in my life.
I didn't say anything, I would have burst into tears if I had tried to speak.

It is really rude, criticizing a person for how they are feeling/looking.

Pathognomonic of utter, utter cunts. YANBU.

I detest this phrase. I once misguidedly used it at school, when I was 14, to a girl I didn't know. Her mother had just died. I've tried never to speak before thinking since.

I've always hated this phrase even though I've never been on the receiving end in such awful circumstances as people here. What on earth do people think they're achieving with it? It either already DID happen, and you're just going to upset them, or they're just feeling a little bit low, and are not going to cheer up because some grinning loon tells them to, or (like me) have one of those faces that just looks a bit miserable when it's not doing something else.

I'm rather inclined to think its use should be a disciplinary offence for staff in a medical setting ... !

yes I dont like it

I had it said to me and politely said back
actually it already did, I just buried my husband

I felt quite bad afterwards though as the woman went white and started stammering her apologies

YANBU - sorry for you & DH's loss. some people just wouldn't think & just trying to be friendly / funny but when I lost my mum I couldn't believe everyone was going about their business as normal and a comment like that would not have been at all welcome.

"I felt quite bad afterwards though as the woman went white and started stammering her apologies"

You shouldn't have felt bad Trinity . You should feel goo that hopefully the daft woman won't use this awful phrase ever again!

It makes me really sad to think of all the really awful circumstances people have been in when some stupid twat has uttered this diabolical phrase.

There should be a sign up at the entrance to hospitals that this phrase never be used there and should never ever be used by staff there! What else do people think others are doing in a HOSPITAL ffs!

YANBU.
I get this all the time and I've come to the conclusion that I must just have a miserable face.
My stock reply is, "it just has."