to be pissed off at someone telling me how worried she was that her daughter had been mugged abroad

[activate]

in a bid to reassure me that she understood my upset over a life-threatening medical diagnosis that I had to reveal to this particular person on a professional basis.

I mean really?

She was probably trying to empathise but obviously it has fallen flat.

I'm sorry you've had bad news. The truth is that most people, myself included, don't really know what to say when faced with somebody's awful news so they may just garble or say the first thing that comes into their head.

I'm sure she didn't mean to upset you.

I am sorry about your bad news. But I second MZ's comment. She was probably, clumsily, trying to empathise. Probably thinking along the lines "Worry is worry".
Though for you I am sure there is a world of difference.

Perhaps you are (understandably) focussing on her comment rather than your bad news?

It isn't about being unreasonable. This topic isn't the place for that imho.

I am sorry you have had such bad news but I am guessing your colleague was trying to say she understood how tough bad news is. It isn't a competition about who has the worst news, she is just saying she understands.

Agreed fab (great new name btw)- not a competition. Possibly a nervous reaction. And empathy.

this one's been festering a while tbh - still cross, she was told in advance (well in advance of meeting)

can't you just all tell me she's a stupid bitch please - I want a good rant

Yup, fretting and cringing. Been there many times! If only life came with a script.

I don't think that you are being unreasonable but managing to give sympathy over empathy is a trial for some people.

Also some people are "toppers" whatever you've done, had, have they have done, had,have, better and bigger.

yanbu. some people are a bit lacking in erm people skills.

She is a stupid bitch OP.

Does that help your rant?

YANBU to be pissed off with her, but I'm sure she was just being socially clumsy.

YANBU-And there are weird people who don't want to be outdone on the bad news front perhaps she is one of them?

Activate, so sorry about your life-threatening condition. (And so sorry if those words sound trite.) And for you to be upset about the care you are receiving is not at all unreasonable. You do need both all the best medical care available, plus all the best back-up nursing/social care available too.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

But I have to add that your health professional may have been just plain thoughtless, rather than a stupid bitch...

Please, ask for another health professional to take over your care. I think you are entitled to ask for another carer - someone you might (at the very least) feel more comfortable with.

Sending you all best wishes.