To just turn my phone off...

[ginnybag]

I've posted here before about the issues surrounding my DH, his parents and his brother - some of that is relevant, some is not.

The gist is this: MIL had a stroke, and is not very independant. FIL copes but needs a lot of help and whines and moans constantly when he doesn't get it immediately. BIL - who lives in house - has no issue spending MIL's money but does sod all.

I have talked my head off at my husband, trying to get him to sort his brother out. He won't - he says it's his father's problem, because he lives with him.

Now, FIL is in hospital himself and is (just a little) taking the mick.

I have a three month old baby and I am already back at work full time. Despite that, both FIL and MIL contact me constantly to do things. Me, not either my DH or his brother, because a) I actually answer my phone and b) actually do stuff.

I have no issue with doing things that actually need doing, but last night just pushed it too far.

I visited FIL on Weds, took him clean clothes, drinks blah, blah... and told him that , as normal, I was not free on a Thurs evening.

Cue 4.30pm yesterday - phone call from FIL 'Can you come to the hospital tonight...?'

I explained that no, not really, my evening consists of: finishing work, collecting baba, taking baba home, feeding her, changing her, sorting out her stuff for today, grabbing food for myself, and going out again to run the youth group I'm involved with. DH and I have to turn this around in just over an hour... or we have fifteen teenagers stood outside a hall waiting for us!

But... FIL insisted it was urgent, and that there was no-one else, so I agreed to drop in - knowing this meant I wouldn't be eating until after the youth grup at 10pm.

The urgent errand turned out to be his mobile needing a top up.... and his friend walked through the door five minutes after I got there!

I'll admit that I was a little sharp with my FIL for wasting my time... so now he's sulking. He's apparently phoned my DH at work,to complain.

The thing is, now that DH has told him to stuff off, I just know he'll be ringing me again this weekend (and he'll ring and ring and ring... until I answer) for various other stupid things.

AIBU to just switch my phone off and ignore?

moondog - I've heard about being inaccessible, but I think you take it seriously

No-people can get hold of me the day they want me.
I'd go mental if I was phoned/texted well out and about. Jesus, haven't we all suffered eough with info. overload? Any more and my hed would explode.

I would block his number and tell him your phone is lost/broken, frankly.

Well, I ignored him...

He got - his mate to ring me (five times till I answered!) yesterday.

His step-son to ring me (three times) today.

And has now borrowed his step-son's phone to ring him to ask him why it hasn't been done.

My husband's answer was short and succinct, to say the least, but has not solved the issue... phone is ringing again.

Yes, I'm the only female... and that has serious drawbacks at times like this.

Weekend has gone pear-shaped anyway... poor baba is teething!

oh poor you ginnybag, you are definitely NBU! Keep ignoring, they really have to stop walking all over you like this. Or send a text message saying 'I am VERY BUSY, please ask BIL to get off his arse and help'.

And then keep ignoring

CHANGE YOUR NUMBER AND DO NOT GIVE IT TO THEM

Actually I think you should sit down with the three of them and point out that you have a 3 month old baby and work full time and you are not available to run errands for any of them.

They are three big grownup men, it's up to them to sort it out. Yes, it's kind of dumping it on your DH to an extent, but tough.

And then change your number

at his persistence

It really is up to your dh and bil to sort their dad out. Glad that your dh is supportive of you not being as involved.

I would be tempted to swap phones with your dh for a few weeks if you don't want to actually change your number.

Or tell them that you have lost your phone and that is why you will not be able to answer it, so no point them calling you on that number.