to have turfed out BIL against DH's wishes?

[Leifie]

4 months on, i am still getting constant laments from DH re. the removal of his brother from our house.

he lived with me and DH through university(been friends years) but is not the most dynamic individual and it took him until i was about to drop to realise i wanted to live alone with my husband and baby as a proper family, without him hanging around.

he stayed even when i married DH, doing sod all round the house and showed no sign of shifting even when i got pregnant. miserable time: sick, 'nesting', house never to myself, never could walk around naked etc. etc.

anyway, finally in mad-pregnant-woman-pleading-panic i got him to leave and go back to his parents. DH STILL pissed off about it (!!!) thinks it was unnecessary, cruel & now BIL has lost independence and is sad...

i, however, love my own home & family and wish DH would get over it.

Yanbu- My sil is like this.

Bil didn't lose his independence as he's yet to gain it.

I'm with Expat.

if he love bro that much go shack up with him and live like two saddos

Just curious - how old are you all? Or have I missed it?

I was thinking along the same lines as Expat. It never ceases to amaze me how low some women's standards are.

""BIL is the ultimate mummy's boy and is having a fine time. cooked dinners & ironed shirts, Petis Filous bought for him when tooth hurts..."

I have only borne girls, but if I'd happened to have had a son along the way then, by Christ, I would be making damn sure he didn't turn out like this."

Sums it up for me.

YANBU. YES, you ARE normal.

What do you mean you "sent BIL back"? Rubbish. He chose to go back to his parents' place, even if you turfed him out of your place. Ask DH if he thinks what you did is so bad why BIL went back to mum and dad rather than gettign his own place.

Your DH thinks his brother has "lost his independence" HELLO a grown man living with his brother and sister in law is not being independent.

Tell them both to grow up

good grief, I would say ypouir DH is more of a weirdo than the BIL. i mean, BIL's behaviouir has been odd, but clearly he was taking advantage and enjoying a free place to stay

your DH on the other hand was happy to have him there while he got married, had children... when would it have ended?

seriously, if he can't see how unreasonable he is being there is something wrong with him!

YANBU!!! Your BIL sounds happy as a pig in... to be back home, its probably preferable to being at yours!

wonder how long your DH will sulk for - have you had the baby yet ?

YANBU but also YABU.

You were right to do it but you should have been more diplomatic about it.

low standards?? oh cheers!

well i was diplomatic for years, got slightly tired of diplomacy.

yep baby is 4 months!! BIL is 22, so am I, DH 23. 18, 18 and 19 when we moved in. Typing this, we do sound like a bunch of kids!!