to be upset about DS1's birthday

[assumetheposition]

I know I am - and really am just posting on here so that I don't have to say it out loud and have people think I've completely lost it.

It was DS1's 4th birthday yesterday. After the initial excitement of presents in the morning he was grumpy on the way to nursery. Had a lovely time at nursery though.

Family came round at tea time for some cake. Several comments that I had not provided food (it was 5 o'clock ffs)

DBIL bought him a Scalectrix which everyone had a lovely time playing with.

Sister sat having several inappropriate conversations with people (recent stories of child abuse, that kind of thing). Also told me that I was too old to wear leggings (have just bought my first pair at 34).

Today there were major tantrums as DS2 (14months) keeps trying to attack DS1's new toys but DS1 doesn't want to put them away. Cue screaming from one or the other.

My niece has now taken him to the zoo for a lovely day out and I'm left preparing for DS1's party tomorrow.

I have something to do on Sunday for a few hours so DH has decided to take DS's out to an amusement park with his Dad for a birthday treat. Now I know I am busy and I should relish the time to myself but I will only be gone for a couple of hours! They are now going out for the entire day.

At the moment I just feel like I have got all the grumpiness and all of the effort that comes with birthdays and none of the fun.

I also can't help feeling that it's more than that - that somehow the anniversary of his birth is significant for me too.

I'm being a spoilt brat aren't I.

YANBU.

Don't want to read and run, although I don't feel like there is anything constructive I can offer - YANBU though, and it doesn't seem very fair on you at all!

For what its worth, Congratulations on the 4th Anniversary of your son's birth! I think you should at least treat yourself to a slice of cake and a glass of wine with your feet up when you have a quiet moment!

I know how you feel. Birthdays sometimes feel like a big performance or a test you can fail - others put too much pressure on or you put it on yourself. Bit like New Year, too

I remember after DS1s disastrous 4th birthday party, getting really quite down because it felt like it symbolised every way in which i was a crappy parent.

Fortunately, over the years I have got more of a grip .

It doesn't MATTER - just take some time to sit and think or talk to your DP about the birth, or look through DSs baby photos with him. Anything to remember what it's all about

I'm sure you look lovely in your leggings

YANBU. And 34 is not too old to wear leggings!Can you possibly postpone the thing you have to do on Sunday and go out with your family? Fwiw I know how you feel cos I generally get all the work involved with parties/Christmas too

I can't postpone it as it's an event that I'm attending. And actually, to add to my spoiltness, I really don't want to spend the day with DFiL and BiL, would rather we just did something together.

DH wanted us all to go out to lunch together tomorrow but I pointed out there was a lot to do for DS1's party so wouldn't have time.

Next year - remind me to do things differently!

I am really trying NOT to but I'm afraid I do think YAB a teensy bit U

If you wanted you could have had your DS at home on his actual birthday instead of struggling him into nursery? Could have done lots of lovely things with just him and you and marked the day that way. You could also have told family no visits on the actual day, keep for the party on saturday.....

However of course YANBU to want your SIL to shut up about child abuse in front of your kids or to criticise your choice of leg-wear!

Maybe just learn from it and do things differently next year?

oop cross posts, you have already mentioned doing things differently!

Thanks Cirrhosis - I know I know.

I wanted him to go to school yesterday as he has to take in sweets and they all sing happy birthday. My birthday is in the middle of August and I was always very jealous of people who got made a fuss of on their birthday at school.

But maybe he couldn't care less .

Sometimes it's a bit of an anticlimax. You get all excited about the big day and then realise it's you doing all the organising, cake making, food or whatever.

Take the time you have on Sunday to go out in your new leggings and show them off!

Oh and maybe tell your SIL what a un-child friendly fool she is for holding conversations like that!

Have a fab party tommorow.