AIBU to feel miffed that I won't get a home visit from a midwife?

[helpet]

I gave birth (c-section) a week ago today and have been visited by community midwives on day 1 and 3 back at home - supposed to be visited tomorrow but they are too busy and want me to go into the hospital maternity unit (a good drive away) on Sunday instead. I haven't been discharged to our local Health visitor yet.

I feel shit, think I might have a bladder infection but not sure (burns when I wee), have anaemia AND a boistrous toddler to boot, not to mention my gorgeous newborn who wants to party all night. A trip to the hospital is not high on my would-like-to-do list.

I'm not someone to make a fuss but this seems a bit crap to me. So am I being unreasonable?

YANBU they are 'community' midwives which means they should come out and see you not the other way round. If you think you have a UTI give your Dr a ring and ask for a home visit.

No, definitely not. On this occasion I would stamp my feet alot and say come to my house. IMO once you are discharged, midwives don't see you nearly enough .. unless of course you are exclusively breastfeeding, and your darling child is not piling on pound after pound, but is obviously fit and healthy in every other way. THEN you can't keep the midwives out of the blinking house. But that is just my issue

Seriously, don't go. Totally unreasonable to expect it.

Firstly, if you think you've got a bladder infection get yourself down the gp surgery before they close for the week-end.

It does sound a bit awful that they've asked you to go in to see them instead of them coming to see you but maybe their staff are stranded abroad somewhere and they are short staffed. I'd do it once. Probably not again though. It's not compulsory. Just see your gp if it's easier.

Oh god, I had a c-section a year ago and then some kind of internal infection and going to the doctor was such a massive expedition I thought I was going to pass out. Asking you to go a good drive away isn't fair or reasonable, I think. Do try and protest.

Er, how would you even get to an appointment after c-section (no matter how well you are recovering)? Is there someone to take you or help with your children? Maybe a Sunday would be quieter though.

I would be annoyed at the midwives anyway. I was lucky they were around most of the time as I had a bad tear. I can't imagine how cross I'd be if I'd had a c-section and wasn't getting the care I needed. Please be insistent, it works - don't take no for an answer. You are entitled to midwife care and so is your new baby! If you are having bladder trouble that needs sorting pronto.

Easy way around it - tell them your car insurance won't cover you to drive until you've had your 6 week check-up and there's no-one else who can run you in.

poor you, anyone else who had just had major surgery would not be treated this way, GAH, but whatever you do get this sorted by the end of today OK?

no YANBU tell them sorry no can do

A similar thing happened to me after I had my daughter. I had been very poorly after the birth, and also still suffering with bad SPD, and relying on crutches to get around.

My midwife was on holiday, so I had a team providing cover for her. After my first home visit, I was asked to go to the hospital a 25 minute drive away for subsequent daily checks.

Because I am the kind of person who tries to be helpful, I didn't kick up a fuss, but the midwife I saw at the hospital was furious on my behalf, and put in a complaint herself. It's really not what you need or want to be doing with a newborn, regardless of how well or otherwise you are feeling, and how able you are to cope with the journey. Those early days are for cuddles and bonding, and recovering. In hindsight, I would never agree to that again- I would rather go to my local gp if it's really impossible to be seen at home. Please do query it!

Postnatal care is really suffering from maternity service cutbacks.

If you were well, feeding fine and recovering it would be unreasonable to expect a visit.

But you are obviously not. Phone back and tell them you are not feeling well enough to go to the hospital.

YANBU my community midwives were great I had a visit everyday for 10 days, even though the new directive was on day 5 and 10, and then phoncalls/visits every other day for a further 6 days until I was signed over to the HV.

YANBU - I had the same thing, a call on a Friday night to say actually, we can't see you tomorrow, will you come into hospital on Sunday morning instead? I didn't think to say no actually until afterwards so dutifully turned up, driven by my husband with our toddler in tow to run round the waiting room. Fortunately it was fairly quiet but I was a bit cross when they said they had prioritised first time mothers over second-timers - I felt they should take into account that c-section mums can't get to the hospital clinic easily and if they've got other children it does mean the whole family come too. I would definitely have insisted on a home visit if they asked again.

YANBU. Hope you feel better soon. Congratulations on your new baby.

Do NOT go!

Unfortunately we have to insist in order to get the service we deserve!

Fact is: You had c-section (I did too) and you are NOT supposed to lift anything (except baby WITHOUT car seat), you are NOT supposed to drive either until your 6 week check as no car insurances cover you!

It really is outrageous. Same happened to me!

Just insist nicely and say unfortunately you aare unable to make to hospital for obvious reasons!!!!!

Thanks all. I phoned and said I couldn't make it. They were happy to arrange a home visit for Monday. Suppose you just have to ask, something I'm not very good at.

I'm surprised that we won't have been seen for a week though. Mind you none of this is quite as bad as my experience with my first born - no one at all came to see us for the first 5 days - we were new parents and shell shocked by a traumatic birth so we weren't really on the ball to chase things up!

Thought when I saw the thread title I would be saying yabu, but yanbu at all!