to want dh to give up.....

[JimJammum]

...playing cricket?
It takes most of the day one day per weekend. For away games he often leaves around 11am and gets in after 9pm. I don't therefore eat dinner until he gets in. DS is now 3 and does not get to see a huge amount of him during the week, as often he can only get home from work as ds is going to bed. DS is loving spending more time with DH at the moment, and will miss him dreadfully. However, I do not want to push DH into giving up when he enjoys it, it's excercise after a stressful week and he enjoys the social aspect.
It's not really feasible to watch the match as it's too long, and ds just keeps wanting to run on the pitch and play too.

YANBU.

Why can't you eat your dinner without him?

I think cricket is possibly the laziest sport I have ever witnessed. Lots of standing around, a mahoosive tea with cakes etc, then lots more standing around, with the odd bit of running, then back to the bar for beer.

Lots of DH's friends that lets say would be unable to run a half marathon enjoy cricket. So I am not sure also about the exercise comment. It depends what sort of team he's in. The First team for eg at our club is populated by young hungry athletic whippersnappers, whilst the 4's has an average age of 45, and has a leisurely feel to it.

All day every Saturday? Sounds very selfish to me actually.

I wouldn't like that at all.

I don't think you would be at all unreasonable to ask him to cut it down a bit, not to stop but to do it half the amount.

Do you still have full day at the week end free for family stuff? I work sats and my dh now wants to restart sunday cricket as he misses it ( he hasn't played for a few years), he doesn't do anything else and doesn't go out drinking with mates etc. I still feel a bit peeved that we won't see him much on the sunday, but the cricket season isn't that long. If you have one day at the weekend i would let him play, also not all games are away so he won't always be away for the whole day if he plays for a local team.

As a child of a cricket mad dad, every weekend in the summer during a lot of my childhood both days were spent at whatever cricket club he was playing at.
I do have some very happy memories of playing with the other children, but I know it was hard for my mum. She was involved with making teas and stuff, which she didn't mind for a few years, but I know she struggled with the level Dad got involved in club stuff. And as someone has mentioned - it is a VERY sociable sport, with lots of drinking and self congratulating afterwards.
I think your DH needs to think carefully about the balance of family time while you have a small child. I dont feel we missed out on stuff with Dad, but I think he does now he is a grandpa.

oh gosh i know a family of three kids where the husband used to be a cricket AND hockey fanatic so that was basically him, every weekend, all year! to be fair though, they are an extremely strong and loving couple and clearly worked their own way round it but i would be LIVID. it all comes down to, does he balance up the time he spends on it so he's still getting the equivalent of 48 hours a week with you two, or does he just 'add it on' to the rest of his life and not make any alteration? that's when it really gets unfair - you simply can't have everything. eg, he might choose to do less work at work so he can commit to evenings in during the week and you get time together (or even shock horror negotiate a shorter week!); he might offer to have DS all day one day at the weekend during the winter (as others have said) or for whole weekends so you can go off and do exciting things... and of course, once DS is old enough, ensure he's on a team where they can play together. if that was the case, no prob at all.

maybe the thing is for you to think of stuff you'd really like to do and ask him how he can help support you do that.

how much is he involved in housework? perhaps he could choose to take on responsibility for a couple of jobs that would free you up to have more relaxing time when you're alone eg, all the food shopping, cooking on sundays and putting away the laundry (say)... that would help stop you feeling like a wee slavey and maybe make him a bit more home oriented and less 'play' oriented

This is a tough one. There's not often a compromise with cricket is there? The games/matches just take so bloody long. My DH used to play midweek cricket which was perfect, he had one night a week playing, the odd weekend game and a cricket tour once a year. He has said, since having kids, there's no way he'd do weekend cricket as it's too much time away from us.

I know lots of mums do go and watch the weekend games, but I have to say I hated it whenever I went. There really wasn't a lot for the kids to do, you had to watch them so closely so they don't run on the pitch/apron/whatever it's called! or behind the sight screens.

Would midweek games be the answer for you? Or some more me-time during the week or on the Sunday?

I definitely wiuldn't wait fo rhim before I ate!

my dh is involved in a sport that involves three nights a week, one or two full days at the weekend and some weekends away / We have three children. It has ne ver occurred to me he should not do this. Maybe I am mad