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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

designer clothes in nursery

69 replies

outnumbered2to1 · 21/04/2010 21:04

ok i know it is everyone's own choice how to dress their children, but surely if you know that your kids are going to be playing in water and sand and paint and all sorts of goo then sending them to nursery in designer gear is just asking for trouble? Then complaining to the nursery that the kids clothes were ruined?

DS2 goes to nursery in jogging bottoms from asda and the t-shirt with the nursery logo. The jogging bottoms are 2 pair for £5 or something like that so no problem if they get covered in paint.

The nursery also sends out letters reminding parents/carers that the kids are there to get messy so AIBU in thinking that if you put designer gear on your kids then its at your own risk and the nursery shouldn't be responsible for the dry cleaning?

or am i just having another mad rant...?!!

OP posts:
blueshoes · 21/04/2010 23:04

Yes, you can spot the children of newbies or very part time children by their clothes. Most parents learn the hard way soon enough.

I think nursery staff do notice what labels the children are wearing and rate accordingly. Maleeka, do you reckon that is true? Not that it would change the way I dress ds ...

gtamom · 22/04/2010 11:47

Children really only need to be in comfortable clean clothing, that can be played in. It seems sensible to keep any special outfits for special occasions, not to wear to nursery school.
I wonder if the items really needed dry cleaning? Maybe being dramatic? Wouldn't most stuff the children would be in contact with would be non toxic and washable.
If they sent a child to daycare wearing silk pastel dress, tabu.

bruffin · 22/04/2010 11:59

I used to get annoyed because DD's nursery logo top was ruined with paint, the whole of the front was covered in black paint.It didn't wash out either as there was so much of it.

I offered to provide a shirt/ apron for painting but they said they had them

I asked why they didn't use them and they said that really they had never come across anyone quite like DD on the messy stakes I did have to agree with them

Journey · 22/04/2010 12:05

Unless you're from a rich neighbourhood designer clothes look tacky on kids. It's just a way for parents to try and make their children look superior to others but the reality is as soon as the child opens their mouth or shows they have no manners the whole thing just looks so false and naff. A kid in non-labeled clothes with nice manners and good behaviour comes across so much better.

Of course the nursery shouldn't be responsible for the dry cleaning. If you can afford designer clothes then you shouldn't have any concerns about the cost of washing them. But then this is where the joke lies because some parents try to make out their something their not via their kids!

gtamom · 22/04/2010 12:05

bruffin, that would annoy me too. It should be washable paint only.

sweetkitty · 22/04/2010 12:08

DD2 went to nursery in her beloved I am 4 green top from Asda (£3) and her sisters old jeans, she is now out the garden playing in the grass and mud.

Our nursery are always sending home notes about not sending them in nice clothes, one wee girl has designer clothes on all the time and Lelli Kelli shoes for playing outside!

bruffin · 22/04/2010 12:13

I think it was washable gtamum but there was so much of it and it was ground in. She had wiped her hands all down the top.

Miggsie · 22/04/2010 12:17

If I was the nursery manager I'd tell them they were welcome to remove their child and put them in a nursery that is willing to pay dry cleaning bills.

potplant · 22/04/2010 12:17

I can't see the point in putting small children into expensive designer clothes at all. When they are old enough to appreciate and take care of something expensive then OK but at 2 YO - madness!

I did get very annoyed when my DS' school jumper came home covered in paint that wouldn't wash out because he shouldn't have been able to access non-washable paint. (I was also annoyed at having to buy a new jumper as well) I wouldn't dream of asking them to replace it though - they've got better things to spend their money on.

pagwatch · 22/04/2010 12:22

my dd used to wear lelli kellis to nursery .
They are really comfy and they go in the washing machine.

I used to put DD in expensive clothes but to be honest that was all she had ( I had issues really but thats another story) BUT she was always dressed to be comfortable and able to play in an uninhibited way and I was always absoloutely fine if anything got trashed.
As it happens nothing ever did really - the nursery paint washed out as did plasticine etc. The only stain I ever struggled with was if she had banana at snack time.

I did have a couple of sniffy comments from other mums but really I just dismissed it as none of their business.

Squilly I was a fan of catimini when she was smaller too plus oilily, floriane and jottum.Some of the European brands are lovely arn'tthey? I have kept some of them even though I stuck a lot on ebay.
She is bigger now so it is all jeans and t-shirts [sigh]. We will be going goth soon enough I expect

TerryWogansCock · 22/04/2010 12:23

why would anyone buy nursery aged children designer clothes full stop (unless they are kerry katona or jordan)

loons

pagwatch · 22/04/2010 12:24

potplant, if people can afford it , why is it madness?

chipmonkey · 22/04/2010 13:24

I used to buy ds1 very treny expensive clothes. Ds2, ds3 and ds4 have had to put up with his hand-me-downs!

thumbwitch · 22/04/2010 13:29

YANBU to think that people should either not send their DC into nursery in expensive clothes, or if they do they should just "suck it up" if the clothes get filthy.

I have never bought designer stuff for DS new, although I have picked some up in charity shops or been given it because I think it's an atrocious waste of money but I recognise that is my issue.

Anyone making it the nursery's issue if the precious clothes get trashed is just stupid.

potplant · 22/04/2010 13:29

Course you can spend your money on whatever you like - imo its madness.

I have 2 very messy DCs and I've lost count of the number of clothes that are ruined because they've got ripped knees, chewed sleeves, paint marks, pen marks, etc etc. It pees me off with a £5 tshirt so I would blow my top if it was 10 times that from Armani/D&G.

As per the OP - people buy expensive clothes for litte people who can't look after them and and then complain when they get ruined. That is the madness of it!

potplant · 22/04/2010 13:30

*little people obviously

KERALA1 · 22/04/2010 13:38

My two are often dressed head to toe in designer gear. Though all bought from a nearly new sale pre credit crunch in the grand area of London we used to live near to. Can be abit embarrassing and often find myself explaining that no I did not actually buy the Guess dress or Osh Kosh dungerees new am not that sad but for 50p each

Maveta · 22/04/2010 13:39

They shouldn´t expect nursery to pay. here it is the norm for all nursery kids to wear a nursery-logo´d pinny with long sleeves and down below their knees and they wear them all day regardless of what they are doing. fantastic idea (even if the boys look like they are wearing dresses ;))

azazello · 22/04/2010 14:57

They can send their chidlren in whatever clothes they like although it is a real shame if children (if either gender) feel they can't run around because it will mess up their clothes.

Like a few other people on the thread, my DD wears a lot of Catimini, Oilily, Jottum etc all of which is at least second hand from ebay but still looks lovely. She does wear it to playgroup but if it gets dirty or ripped that is my problem and mine alone - I wouldn't consider for a millisecond asking playgroup to pick up the cleaning bill (not that there is one - dry cleaning DC's stuff - really?).

pagwatch · 22/04/2010 15:02

I always find it interesting that people have arbitrary rules about what other people should spend their money on - especially 'ordinary' people.

If Cheryl Cole buys a £1,000 dress then people will just say whether she looks good or not. If Posh buys her DCs designer clothes ditto. Ditto Lourdes etc etc.
If I buy that stuff then the conversation becomes about whether it is 'sad' or mad.
It is odd

thumbwitch · 22/04/2010 15:10

I guess because a lot of people can't afford or don't want to pay the prices of desginer clother for children who are likely to grow out of them in a few months or trash them in a few weeks, pagwatch.

If you can afford to do it, that is your business and no one should pick you up on it - but you have already said that you take any clothes trashing to be your business, not the nursery's, which is how sensible people would respond to it.

I guess I'm just tight - even if I could easily afford to pay £30 for a t-shirt for DS, I still wouldn't do it because I think it is a waste of money - but that is my value system and I don't expect everyone to share it.

pagwatch · 22/04/2010 15:18

fair enough thumbwitch

I have lines in the sand about all sorts of things...money I would never spend, maximum prices I would pay for things etc. i am not wasteful and once my DCs have finished with things they get passed on to friends/relatives, donated to charity etc.

I can't ever understand why people buy flash cars, or spend lots on electronic stuff and gizmos so I accept it is different strokes but I was 4th girl in my family so never had anything new [bleating] and I enjoy clothes and fashion.

It just seems a bit [sigh] when people go beyond 'I wouldn't do that/spend that/buy that' into "it is sad/mad/bad.."

squilly · 22/04/2010 16:48

Pagwatch...am dreading the goth phase, but know it's coming. I get more downhearted now about the odd pretty thing that I buy for my dd that she sniffs her nose up at. Luckily, I don't buy much unaccompanied now, but still.

I think it's odd that some people think they can call buying little babies designer gear 'mad'. To me it was rarely about the label, it was the appearance of the clothes that mattered. Often that does translate into a label because brands tend to have certain looks....Primark is high fashion, H&M is a bit rock chick, M&S is mostly Brit classic, so it's the same at the High Street as well.

As for being mad for putting dd in designer duds, I happen to think I was very savvy. I rarely bought her anything that I didn't get my money back on via Ebay, which is why I never had problems sending her to nursery in her designer duds. Made little difference to me.

As most people have said...the problems start when parents put their kids in these clothes, send em to nursery then hold the staff or (even worse) the kids responsible for the mess they get into.

bruffin · 22/04/2010 17:16

DD 12 is in that phase now Squilly. Used to buy pretty dresses from Vervaudet/la redoute, Next but now she won't wear anything but black/grey skinny jeans and a tshirt which usually have to have something to do with the Jonas brothers.
At least I don't have to worry about her wearing too short skirts or makeup

pagwatch · 22/04/2010 17:19

DD (age 7)likes looking funky
I quite like her finding her own style and chosing her own stuff to put together - it can be quite funny but I would prefer that she chose her own style than turn into one of the local teen identikits.
But I guess they mostly do.....[sigh]