To be hacked off with DH

[KAEKAE]

When he falls asleep whilst putting our DS to bed? So this is how it goes...he gets DS who is 2.7 ready for bed, I deal with our new baby DD, becuase it's around this time she needs her feed. He then reads him a story and then they both fall alseep, I am left on my own in the lounge every night. I am SO sick of it, we end up arguing when I go and wake him up.

You're both tired. I am guessing that's what it's like with a newborn and an older one to look after. Sounds like you are trying to divide the work fairly. You may be being a bit unreasonable to argue with him but I guess it depends on how those arguments develop.

Your both really tired. Rather than arguing get him to take the baby for a couple of hours and have a sleep and then let him sleep a bit.

Really it will all be a lot better if you sleep. Well that's what it was like for me with a new baby.

Maybe a teensy bit unreasonable...

he's tired.

I know you're tired too, but it's not a competition. Get the baby to sleep as soon as you can, then go to bed (and you would be very pissed off if he came and woke you up and had a go at you about it)

I used to fall asleep regularly when putting DSs to bed when they were wee - I would just nod off over the storybook. (Because I was sitting up I would never stay asleep, though.) I was just ... so ... tired ...

As a matter of interest, what would he do if you didn't go to wake him up? Sleep there all night or come through eventually?

Maybe try leaving him to sleep and doing what you need to do with the baby ... then get an early night yourself. Even a bath or a good book in bed?

Good luck.

DP and I have both fallen asleep when putting our DD to bed (I did at 7.15 this evening ). Try waking him in the way that you would like to be woken - you know that this really tiring newborn stage doesn't last forever

YABU. Although i tend to find my newborn DD has more of a soporific effect on me than my loud and noisy 2.9 year old!

At least he's putting your ds to bed and not just going upstairs to sleep whilst you struggle with the two of them. I think you're being a little incy wincy bit unreasonable but I'm guessing you're as tired as him and probably (dare I say it) still a little bit hormonal (I'm flinching even as I write about this sorry).

As Minshu says this won't last forever so maybe try to get some sleep for yourself

Exactly how things used to be in our house, on the nights dh was here. Yes, its unreasonable to be moody with him. But its natural, and exactly how I was too! Just pretend he's not there, then you cant sit downstairs feeling bitter, and things will improve, I promise

Thanks all, perhaps I am over reacting slightly and being unreasonable. He works all day and I have just given up my job of six years to stay at home with our children so yes, you're all right he is tired. I feel bad in saying I want to have some adult conversation because I know he is seeing to our son.

Cruelladepoppins - If I don't nudge him awake he'll sleep eventually waking around 10pm and come downstairs.

My dh does the same thing, and our newborn doesn't even arrive for another 4 weeks! I have said to him that I miss him in the evenings and feel like we have lost our 'adult' time together. He saw my point and now tries really hard not to fall asleep and has managed to get our 2yr old to settle quicker and not wait until she is completely asleep to sneak out.

I don't think YANBU at all, I completely get where you are comming from. You probably just need to have a chat about it BEFORE he falls asleep, not when you have just woken him up and you are cross and he is groggy.

What time does your child go to bed & how long does husband sleep for?

We both used to do this-easy as both children have a double bed.

Used to sleep until about 9pm & get up for a couple of hours.
Husband sometimes slept until 1 or2 & then came to bed!