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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect a surprise?

18 replies

Undercovamutha · 21/04/2010 20:22

Its my birthday tomorrow. DH made some apparently joking comment tonight which made me think he had forgotten. He claims it was definitely a joke. I then got a bit cross and said that DD would be expecting me to have a cake (she is very concerned that birthday etiquette is always followed!) and would be disappointed.

DH then said how did I know I wasn't getting a cake, and then rushed off to (not so) surreptitiously (sp) check the recipe books, and the fridge. He has just come back from the shops with eggs - which he claims are for lunch later in the week!!!

He also disappeared just as he was about to bath DS. When I asked him where he was going (to be fair he did leave DS half dressed and rushed downstairs to see DD) he just sighed and said that it is impossible for him to do any surprises if he is at work all day and I am at 'sticking my nose in'(I think he must have been going to get DD to help write my bday card).

AIBU to think that if DH really tried hard enough and was a bit more organised, he could PROPERLY surprise me. Or is it quite hard to surprise someone who is always around, and who is a bit of a control freak ?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 21/04/2010 20:24

YABU, if only on grounds of pedantry. How can anyone 'expect' a surprise?

specialmagiclady · 21/04/2010 20:24

I'd say probably b). But presumably he has lunch time and journey home from work to sort out presenty stuff.

Undercovamutha · 21/04/2010 20:26

Point taken BOF!

OP posts:
janeite · 21/04/2010 20:29

YABU

scarlotti · 21/04/2010 20:31

Happy birthday for tomorrow - it's my birthday tomorrow too!!

If it makes you feel any better, my dh was sorting out my present at the last minute and I think he's left writing the cards to DD to sort (she's 15, DS' are 4 and

compo · 21/04/2010 20:32

Yabu

how old will you be? Seven

janeite · 21/04/2010 20:32

happy birthday to you both btw - unreasonable or not!

PigeonPie · 21/04/2010 20:33

I'm afraid I think it is a bit difficult to organise things when you're always there.

I know it's difficult in our household. I have the added difficulty that my birthday is right at DH's busiest time and he just doesn't have enough brain power for both (understandably - I used to work in the same institution and know what it's like).

DH ended up spending an absolute fortune on a cake for me last year because he just didn't have time to make one with the DSs. It was a lovely cake, but I didn't ask how much it cost or I might have been

I'm just grateful for anything which makes me, him and the DSs happy. I know my time for birthday surprises will come again.

Happy birthday for tomorrow anyway.

Undercovamutha · 21/04/2010 20:39

Happy Birthday Scarlotti!
PigeonPie - my birthday resolution will be to try to adopt your outlook to life. Will be hard though, as I do have the mental age of 7 (or maybe a toddler-tantrumming 3yo) sometimes - as Compo has rightly guessed!

Feel really bad now though as DH is currently baking me a cake, and I am holed up upstairs feeling like I've forced him into it .

OP posts:
scarlotti · 21/04/2010 20:52

Undercovamutha - maybe next year you could both compromise - he buys you a cake so you get your cake, and so he doesn't have to bake on a work night when he's busy?

dolphin13 · 21/04/2010 20:54

Happy birthday.

My ds is 10 tonmorrow

Just wrapping his pressies.

scarlotti · 21/04/2010 20:55

Happy birthday dolphin's ds

OrmRenewed · 21/04/2010 20:56

I think you have to accept, even as a control freak, that you must allow surprises to surprise you and not dictate their nature. That is the point.

Mutt · 21/04/2010 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chandellina · 21/04/2010 21:00

YABU. I've never had anyone except my mother make me a cake, and DH has never bought me one either.

Undercovamutha · 21/04/2010 21:15

Mutt, Orm - you are quite right .

In my defence, I do make a lot of fuss for DH's bday, and he always says how special it has been.

As for the cake thing - it really is for DD. She is obsessed with birthdays. Have tried to break it to her that we are not having a party tomorrow, but she is having none of it. She has even told me she is going to wear her best party dress.

(Happy birthday Dolphon's lo).

OP posts:
scarlotti · 21/04/2010 21:40

Think all you can do now is wax lyrical when eating the cake tomorrow and allow DD to sing and blow out the candles - hopefully your DH will then see that his efforts have gone down very well!

BigWeeHag · 21/04/2010 22:04

My birthday tomorrow too! Happy Birthday to all of us.

I am a lone parent, so my Mum has organised the surprise, about which I know nothing of course. DS1 has told me this. And shown me the card he has written, and told me that I am on no account to look under his pillow, because that is where the surprise is. It's lovely, both my big kids are so excited about my birthday, love them.

YABU only because inept surprise making is sweet.

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