to be in tears after seeing GP

[tryingtobemarrypoppins2]

Went for my 6 week check today. My mum was meeting me as DS HATES the doctors and 2 days ago had a major tantrum in the GPs room, so she offered to meet me and take DS1 and newborn for a walk/park etc.

Mum was late so I had to go in as the receptionist said GP was soon leaving etc.

DS again had a tantrum, climbing up the door to get out.

Mum arrives - DS leaves in tears "mummy mummy" etc

Gp then says "after seeing him like this on 2 occasions, and hearing you say you sometimes find him hard work, perhaps we should send him for an assessment"

DS is 29 months old.

He is very active, has tantrums, gets over excited, is always on the go etc. But sleeps really well, loves his friends, plays really well, is imaginative/creative, shows loads of compassion.....

I think she thought he had ADHD or ASD

Really upset or AIBU?

APassionateWoman,

why is 'perhaps we should send him for an assessment' less than professional?

If a GP said: 'I'll write you a referral for physio', would that be deemed unprofessional?

Their time is limited. They can't always be perfect. There is nothing final about an assessment.. it's an assessment.

OP, if you don't feel your son needs an assessment, you are free to cancel the appointment when it arises.

PS I don't think for one second that YABU in the context: you are six weeks post-partum and have a toddler who is probably just kicking off with all the change. I don't think the GP is either: just doing their best, maybe a little eager, who knows...

"Not that there is anything at all 'wrong' with your child, but that parents can miss something in their own cihld which is blindingly obvious to someone else."

I have asked friends and family and they all think he is a normal bouncy 2 year old and I am an over sensitive mother who wants everything to be perfect!

mummytime I totally agree, i'm just not sure what she could do??

She's only seen snapshots of him though, and heard you say he's hard work. For all she knows, he's like this all the time and that this is why you find him hard work. She's based her opinion on her experience of your child, which is all she can do really. Speak to her about it, tell her what he's normally like.

But just as a point of interest, my health visitor wrote on MY SON'S NOTES that she was only making a SALT referral because of 'maternal worries' and that in her opinion ds1 was fine, and my family all insisted he was just 'a bit quiet' - well, he wasn't fine in the opinion of the speech therapist! If I'd listened to my HV he'd have never got speech therapy.

mummytime I totally agree, i'm just not sure what she could do??

I'm not sure she could do much, but at least she might realise it was a specific problem with the doctors. Maybe you could try to keep a very rough diary of situations when he goes crazy. If only the names of places, noise levels, your distraction, light levels, something he's eaten before, time of day....etc. It might make sense, although there could be more than one trigger.

But don't get stressed. Moments of bad behaviour for my children included, whenever I fed the baby, just out of arms reach.
Also I have had parents say "Why can't you behave like those two" this 30 seconds after they had stopped playing chase in the China and Glass department of John Lewis. Or the child who got filthy looks for bad behaviour, 2 minutes later getting admiring looks. Why? I'd just found a bottle of bubble mix in my pocket and he was being wonderful blowing bubbles and watching them.

Some doctors are better with kids than others, same with some HV (mine were lovely, even when seeing my child run into the roadway at Sainsburys).

poor kid, what little one likes the doctors? i'm 18 and still dont like the doctor! i used to HOWL at her when i was small, its what children do.

ignore her, you know your child better than her.

Two year olds have tantrums. Mums find it hard to cope. Its all normal.

Your DS was out of his comfort zone, that's all. They're noisy at that age and your GP (childless? a parent?) made a snap judgment that was an over reaction.

Congrats on your new baby by the way! Having two is a true joy (overall, not every second obviously). YANBU.xx