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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

am i being unreasonable to want mediation but......

3 replies

kimplus4 · 21/04/2010 14:25

hi there,
i have just (in the last month) split from my partner. we have been together for nearly 5 years and have 5 children, one from my previous relationship. we were due to get married in october and last month he told me that he didnt love me anymore so we decided to have a temp split and cancle the wedding. he moved in with anotjher woman but maintains that nothing sexual is going on and this week has got his own flat in our town near where i live so he can see the kids, now i am at uni and i work part time so the kids are in full time baby care and school including my 5 month old that i breastfeed in my breaks and at lunchtime ( her nursery is on uni campus) my childcare fees are 5000 pounds a term which i pay out of my student funding and savings from before i met him and he has paid 600 for them this term when he was supposes to pay 1000. now he came around yester and has got new clothes and loads of stuff in town shopping and refuses to pay the 400 extra for the kids nursery fees even though we paid half each when we were together. he has also started working on sat and sun and says he cant have the kids at the weekend now but wants to have them from 4 pm- 6pm on weekdays. i have problem with this as i feel the kids are entitled to go to nursery when i have to pay for it and it is to tired for them at this time in the evening when they usually are at home having tea and getting ready for bed.
he also has suggested that we should no ,longer attend church which we have all been going to for 4 years, he said it is brain washing and not appropriate for the children but he too came to church before he decided that he no longer wanted marriage and didnt love me.
i dont know what to do. my eldest child says that she dosent want to see him as last week i was 20 mins late home running errands for a sick lady at church and he made my daughter (who is 5) deficate in the gutter by our house, i found this totally unacceptable as he could have let her go in the neighbiours house or in our local restaurant etc. any advice, i was considering going to mediation as when i see or speak to him he calls me name and tells me that i am a s* parent ( all in front of the children) and shouts really loud to draw attention and embarrise me!.
thanks ladies and gents
x

OP posts:
kimplus4 · 21/04/2010 14:30

just today he has texted me twice with abuse that i have saved to show solicitor etc if needs be, He left 2 children in manchester (teenagers) to live in devon with me and is now saying it is my fault they have both gone off the rails (they are both in trouble with police in manc)as i made him leave them and now i will do the same to our kids. ie they will become criminals due to me telling him its over.
shall i put up with this abuse for the kids or is it reasonable to stop contact till we can make an agreement via a mediator etc.
i have no idea where i stand legally etc!

OP posts:
Mouseface · 21/04/2010 14:43

If I were you, I'd post this in Relationships.

girlywhirly · 21/04/2010 15:45

And possibly in Legal re maintenance. But the abusive texts are illegal under the telecommunications act I think. If solicitors get involved he will be lucky to see the dc once a fortnight.

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