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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to pop a note in DS' book bag?

39 replies

helyg · 21/04/2010 08:39

DS is 5, and has a reading book home from school twice a week. In school he is reading ORT level 3, plus a similar level book from a different series. So he has 4 books home a week. However, he has obviously run out of ORT books at that level to read as, for the third time, he has brought one home which he has already read a few weeks earlier.

At home he reads at a higher level. He goes to the library frequently and has a free choice of what he wants to borrow. Recently he has read (and I mean properly read, and understood) ORT Level 6 as well as several books of poetry and novels along the lines of Roald Dahl/Horrid Henry etc.

I know that school probably have set criteria for moving them up, but it seems a bit silly that he is re-reading the same books. They have told me that he is very good at reading, but still don't move him up!

AIBU to pop a note in his reading diary saying what he is reading at home and asking whether he should be moved up a level?

I don't want to look pushy, but at the same time I don't want him to spend the rest of teh year re-reading books! I know he has teh opportunity to read other stuff at home, but still, shouldn't school be trying to stretch him? He's certainly not a child genius so I'm guessing that there are other children in his class with the same problem too.

OP posts:

RatherBeOnThePiste · 21/04/2010 08:40

Rather than a note - go and talk to the teacher!

GhostInTheBackOfYourHead · 21/04/2010 08:41

yep, a quiet word with the teacher would be better.

twolittlemonkeys · 21/04/2010 08:46

I would explain your concerns to a teacher. My DS is way ahead with his reading and hasn't started reception yet and the last thing I want is for him to be bored with the work he gets at school because he'll get up to mischief!

Original poster

helyg · 21/04/2010 08:54

A quiet word with the teacher is proving difficult, I have tried to catch her when I've dropped him off at school but she is never available. I don't want to make an appointment as that feels like its making it a far bigger issue than it really is.

OP posts:

Oblomov · 21/04/2010 08:58

No really you should tell her. I had a word with our lovely teacher. This is the kind of thing that you SHOULD speak about.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/04/2010 09:08

Of course you should talk to her - an appointment should be easy to get. My DS has SEN which has made me have to get assertive with teachers. Don't ever be afraid to speak up for your child. If you don't, how will he learn to speak up for himself in school? Go for it.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/04/2010 09:10

oh and meant to add, do not assume that they are watching and waiting to apply certain criteria to move your ds up.

They are probably not thinking about him at all (in the nicest possible way). I've learnt that you need to sometimes put your child centre stage to them, otherwise, if they're good children who make no trouble, they will get - lets not say forgotten - but they will get a bit lost in a crowd, imo.

Shaz10 · 21/04/2010 09:11

If she's always busy after school call the office and ask for an appointment.

Shaz10 · 21/04/2010 09:12

Actually, drop a note in the bag and ask for an appointment, explaining you have some questions over his reading. Getting a message from the school sec is as scary as having "See Me" put on your homework!!

Original poster

helyg · 21/04/2010 09:13

I know I'm being a wimp about this, but every time I speak to her I feel I sound like I'm being pushy. I fell out had a difference of opinion with his teacher last year as she took everything I said the wrong way (it was a really trivial thing too, she said that he couldn't use scissors properly, I said that he could and that he was just being silly in class if he wasn't using them properly there as he could use them at home. I meant that he was to blame, obviously trying to get away with not doing work at school. She took it as a criticism of her teaching). So I'd like to avoid a repeat of that performance...

OP posts:

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/04/2010 09:16

I do know what you mean hely - I have SO been there. You end up thinking that the teachers see you as the worst sort of PFB mother/pushy mum.

However, you're NOT, clearly. You have a valid point to raise.

The way I have steeled myself to talk to DS teachers (and I have had to do that alot!!!) is to think - well, if I don't speak up for him, who else is going to????? It really helps.

realitychick · 21/04/2010 09:26

YADNBU.

I'd do the note thing, as you suggested. Teachers often don't want to get into discussions at the end of the day. A quick note that communicates what you mean can be read by her when she has a moment.

It is ridiculous that he's palmed off with the same books. School shouldn't be boring.

You could always suggest that you're happy to meet if she wants to discuss it.

And really, it doesn't matter whether they think you're pushy or not. What matters is that your son isn't being cudgelled into conforming to a lower norm than he's capable of from the first year of his school life.

Oops - my soap box just came and sneaked under my feet.

Oblomov · 21/04/2010 09:27

Been there too. say the wrong thing to playground mums and teachers and allsorts , me !!
Think about how to phrase it, what you want to say before you go.
keep calm. And think before you speak.
Says Ob, who wishes she could put her own advice into action !!

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/04/2010 09:29

agree with you reality - that's another thing we have had to learn to tell ourselves; that it doesn't matter one bit if the teacher DOES think we're pushy and PFB. It just doesn't matter. What matters is that your child gets the help/change they need.

Original poster

helyg · 21/04/2010 09:31

Ironic thing is is that I'm quite involved in school life, I've been secretary of the PTA and volunteer in school to help out with activities etc. But when it comes to talking to teachers about the DC's work I turn to jelly! And I just live in fear of looking pushy

OP posts:

piscesmoon · 21/04/2010 09:40

Always better to talk to the teacher than write notes. Everyone needs to be a little pushy with their own DC-don't let it worry you.

pigsinmud · 21/04/2010 09:45

I wouldn't do the note.

It doesn't matter - your child is reading more difficult books at home, what does it matter what his school book is. My dd1 is the same and so were my boys. To move up a level they have to read a new text, get something like 95% of it right and answer questions on it to show understanding. I'd ask her what the criteria are for moving up levels.

CirrhosisByTheSea · 21/04/2010 09:49

I think it matters what his school book is because it matters whether the child is bored and un-stimulated by what they're being given at school. It's so easy to turn them off school. It's only a quick note, or chat, why NOT do it?

PlumSykes · 21/04/2010 09:54

I would make an appt and see the teacher, just to talk about his reading.

But I would not ask him to be put up a level-she will instantly feel like you are questioning her experience/authority (speaking as the daughter of two teachers who used to moan about this kind of thing a lot)

Just ask why he is bringing home the same books over and over, and whther there are any more at this level that he could have instead. That way she'll either explain why he's not moving up, or suggest it herself.

Original poster

helyg · 21/04/2010 09:59

Schilke: the thing is I think he has read all of the books on that level, which is why he is being given the same ones to read again. He reads every word without making a single mistake, laughs at the funny bits, tries to guess what will happen on the next page, and will give you a summary of the story when he has finished reading it. So I am pretty confident that he understands.

I know what you mean about it not mattering what he reads in school as he has access to other books at home, but I don't want him to get bored of reading the same old thing! He loves books and reading at the moment, but there's only so many times you can read the same Biff and Chip adventure without losing the will to live...

Re needing to look a little bit pushy, the problem is that I have overheard the staffroom conversations regarding "pushy mums" and don't really want to be pegged as one. Its a small school, and with 3 DC I have a lot of time left there, I don't want a reputation as a mum to hide from!

OP posts:

pigsinmud · 21/04/2010 10:00

I wasn't suggesting she didn't talk teacher, just wouldn't do the note.

Dh is a music teacher and he gets fed up with parents pushing for higher grades than he thinks the child is capable of - not suggesting this is the case OP, just agreeing with PlumSykes questioning of teacher's experience.

I was also thinking along the lines that it was similar to dd1's school book. She has the book to read at home - even if she's read it before, we read it quickly and move on to a home book - no need to feel bored by it.

Original poster

helyg · 21/04/2010 10:02

I've just checked the school calender, and there is a parents evening after half term. If a note in his reading diary is going to look a bit strange then I think I might leave it until then, it will be easier to approach the subject there.

OP posts:

APassionateWoman · 21/04/2010 10:03

Just speak to the teacher. My DS (reception) can choose whatever book he wants from the school library now. There was absolutely no sense in him following the ORT, since he has read all of them a thousand times since the age of 3 yrs. No right thinking teacher will object! It's not being pushy to say 'my child finds this easy and boring' if it's true.

pigsinmud · 21/04/2010 10:03

Talk to the teacher or pop in a note to make a time to talk to the teacher. I understand your pain at reading anothe Biff book!!

I honestly don't think you'd look pushy by approaching teacher and asking about levels.

Original poster

helyg · 21/04/2010 10:06

They don't do free reading for a long time in his school. My eldest is 7 (Yr 2) and is on ORT level 10, with no sign of the levels ever running out...

OP posts:

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