to feel so bloody angry

[LJAM]

8 months pregnant with 2nd child. still working full-time long hours / long commute, trying to spend as much remaining time as possible with DS (aged 4) and get organised for new baby. have asked DH to do virtually nothing and, to his great credit, he's volunteered to do absolutely nothing to help prepare for new baby.

i took DS out of town to visit family last weekend. i asked DH to get old buggy and car seat out of basement whilst i was gone so that i could clean them up for new baby. in 3.5 days that we were gone, DH managed dinner with three different friends - incl a woman he's never mentioned before who apparently he studied with - haircut, clothes shopping, cinema. amazing in itself given that i can't recall the last time he took me out for dinner (without me having to book table and organise babysitter). he even decided to clear out his wardrobe and seemed really proud of himself for this. but did he manage to go down to basement? no of course not. and to top it off, he's annoyed at me for "nagging".

i want to scream and cry. pregnancy hormones not helping.

Go and throw all his neatly arranged clothes in the basement

Your husband is a twat. Did you not realise this?

what do you want us to say ?

AT BEST HE IS BEING A SELFISH INSENSITIVE PIG, AT WORST, ARE YOU WORRIED HE IS BEING UNFAITHFUL?

Go on maternity leave NOW and put your feet up. It's amazing how often you can do that even with another child, when you're not at work.

Maybe DH would prefer to buy you a new buggy and car seat?

Tell him what you've just told us.

don't reckon he's being unfaithful. he's thoughtless, not malicious. i'm sure he thinks he's a brilliant husband - he loves his kid, spends time with him when he can, works hard etc. he just doesn't seem to get how tired i am and how much i need him to help. i tell him i'm knackered and he replies that so is he. and he has a real issue with being told what to do - it makes him more determined not to do it. in the 10 years we've been together, i've still not figured out how to ask him to do something without him resenting that i'm telling him to do something.

if he were mine he would need to do some serous apologising and grovelling, he has been a prize jerk. instead of supporting you and getting all excited about the new baby preps, he has been going out having fun, getting his hair cut, new clothes, meal with another woman. that is NOT good, sorry, it just is not.

i actually think there is more to this....his mind wasnt on you or the baby for sure....where was it?

You asked him to do nothing then ask him to do something? How confused is he? How confused are you? Is he that hopeless? I bet he's not really.

Have you considered that you are putting too much pressure on yourself and him? Maybe he just wanted an evening out before new baby arrives (I know, so when do you get yours?). Perhaps this 'woman' was someone he liked (as a friend) when he was studying and didn't want to upset you. Maybe you need to talk to him after you have calmed down and say how he hurt your feelings. Perhaps you can ask him to arrrange a night out before baby no.2 arrives.

Maybe it is time to slow down for your impending arrival - the work, the long commute, a young child etc., It all sounds a bit much.