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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want a refund from the school?

26 replies

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2010 16:29

Sorry this is long - don't know how to say it in fewer words.

DD had a school day trip booked for this week. I had booked and paid for the place well before the Easter holidays.

Unfortunately, last week she began to have a toothache and needed to go in for an urgent filling. The only appointment I could get was for after school on the day of the trip. This would allow her to attend school, but the trip was not due back until after 5.00 so it would mean her missing the trip. As I knew there was a waiting list for the trip, I thought this would be OK and we could get a refund back from the school.

So DD went to see the school Finance Office early last week and was told they needed e-mail confirmation from the subject teacher. The next day she spoke to her teacher and told her about the e-mail being required. Teacher said she'd sort it out, so DD left it at that.

On the morning of the trip, we received a phone call from a teacher on the coach saying
where was DD? I explained DD had told a teacher she couldn't go. DD was a bit embarrassed about this.

Today I rang the school to find out what happened and ask about a refund. I assumed the teacher she told had simply forgotten to tell the other staff. Without being mean, this teacher, though lovely, is a bit forgetful (has almost lost DDs coursework, gives things back late, etc). The admin assistant I spoke to said she would speak to this teacher and get back to me.

Have just had a call back from the admin asst. I was expecting 'Oh, Mrs X forgot, sorry we will arrange a refund' but no, they said DD had not 'followed correct procedure' and not told Mrs X she had to e-mail the office. DD says she did and her friend was with her at the time and also heard this. Seems like a misunderstanding somewhere. admin asst keeps saying they would have liked to give the place away and they had kids waiting what a shame, I said, yes that's why DD told you at the beginning of the week. I said nicely maybe Mrs X forgot and then I was basically told 'don't criticise our staff, they work very hard' I said I was merely suggesting that Mrs X was very busy and it may have slipped her mind. I also said, so I'm not allowed to criticize your staff in any way, but you're happy to call my daughter a liar'.

Anyway, it was obviously some kind of communication break dowm. but why should I lose over £20 due to the school's incompetence? It ended up with the admin asst saying she would go back to Finance Office and see if she could get me some kind of refund, but IF she could it would probably only be half - should I accept this?

It is just the attitude of the school that makes me MAD. Their office staff frequently make mistakes. For instance when DD had just started at the school, they called me and said she wasn't in school (she was - Form tutor had just not marked her in - I was very worried). Last term she was told I hadn't phoned in when she had a day off sick, and it would be marked as unauthorised absence, - (I can remember clearly calling in), giving kids timetable options they haven't requested etc etc. Every time anything like this happens they never apologise and think they are always right, and it drives me MAD.

Should add that DD is a shy girl who never gives them trouble, always does her homework etc, me and DH always attend parents evenings etc. - we are NOT troublemakers.

Are other schools the same I wonder?

I am fed up with the patronising attitude, you would think even if there has been a communication breakdown they could give a refund for the sake of goodwill.

Should I just meekly accept the half refund (if they even offer it) or threaten them with Small Claims court or something?.
I cannot see we have done anything wrong.

OP posts:
LittleMissHissyFit · 20/04/2010 16:40

Why didn't YOU call the Finance Officer? They would have told you to email, you would have done, you may have got a refund.

No school will offer a refund on a child's say-so.

DD was embarrassed???? perhaps she forgot to tell someone.....

Sorry, but it was your money to lose, while the whole nature of the emergency filling was a nightmare, tbh, I'm surprised you didn't sort this out personally.

Small Claims court??

Sorry, you may think that you haven't done anything wrong, perhaps you haven't but tbh perhaps to the school it looks a little bit like you didn't do anything..

If they offer you a half refund, take it, and next time make sure you know that everyone IS told that you can't make the trip.

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2010 16:49

LMHF - DD DID tell them - twice. and the teacher said she would sort it. The finance office had asked for an e-mail from the relevent dept, not from me.

She was embarrassed because she has mild social anxiety and didn't like to think of the whole coach waiting for her.

She is in 6th form now, which is why I thought it appropriate for her to try and sort it out herself.

OP posts:
LIZS · 20/04/2010 16:51

How old is dd ? Surely you should n't have left it to her to cancel the trip rather than at least also put it in writing yourself ? Was she in school on the day of the trip .

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2010 16:56

She is 17. If they had told DD they needed a letter from me I would have done one.
Yes she attended school on the day.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 20/04/2010 16:58

How old is your daughter? Because I think I would have to agree with Littlemisshissyfit. Unless your daughter is, I don't know, 15 or something, I would not have relied on her to take care of this. Or at least followed up with it myself.

2shoes · 20/04/2010 16:58

I assume if she is in 6th form she is at least 16, so can understand why you left her to do it.
am suprised at that age they still needed you to ok the cancellation

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2010 17:01

Thank you 2shoes - for understanding it was age appopriate for her to deal with it herself.

But it wasn't me they needed to OK it - it was the subject teacher, who forgot, or misunderstood, or whatever.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 20/04/2010 17:03

Sorry cross post there as to DD's age.

Deffo old enough to do it herself, but I still think I would have followed up myself, especially as you know the teacher is a bit flighty.

2shoes · 20/04/2010 17:09

ds is at college, and once he went there I handed over all this stuff to him(6th form college)
if the teacher made the mistake I would expect a refund. but as the trips are probally subsidised I wouldn't hold my breathe

MadamDeathstare · 20/04/2010 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2010 17:20

Teacher is not denying DD spoke to her - just saying DD didn't tell her she needed to send the e-mail. DD says she did. Her friend heard the teacher saying she would sort it.

It was just the patronising silly cow in the admin office 'oh I don't think that's very appropriate to call our staff FORGETFUL when they work so hard'. I had just politely suggested it may have slipped her mind. So the school never makes mistakes then? Right ....

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 20/04/2010 18:20

Right, if I were you I'd accept any refund they offer, and in future, any dealings of this nature with the school, always have an audit trail. So send emails, send letters recorded delivery if appropriate, or deal directly with teachers but follow up with an email "further to our conversation". If anyone thinks you are being silly or overly formal, you can remind them of their incompetence on this occasion.

MrsC2010 · 20/04/2010 18:21

Small claims court?!

LynetteScavo · 20/04/2010 18:35

I think if you threaten them with the samll claims court they will laugh hysterically.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/04/2010 18:56

You should get a refund, yes.

You seem to have a bit of a downer on the office staff though and really this, and the previous absence issue doesn't seem to have been their fault. You have noted that the teacher is a bit forgetful and also said that it was the form tutor who marked your child absent when she was in. I think perhaps you are getting annoyed at the wrong people and they are feeling a little defensive.

NadiaWadia · 20/04/2010 19:26

Well the office staff don't really know that I have a downer on them, since I have never actually complained before. Just over the years DD has been at the school they have made several mistakes and their attitude seems to be 'never apologie, never explain'.

It is a very large school which does very well in the league tables, (probably this is at least as much to do with the catchment area as any brilliance of the teaching and management) and to be honest there seems to be quite a lot of arrogance going on, although individual staff members are lovely (including this teacher in spite of her forgetfulness which I unpardonably mentioned!)

This is shown in the lack on information/consultation with parents. For instance, apparently next year they are going switch to 'vertical forms' (which means that each tutor group/registration group will have a mix of pupils from different year groups.) This will not be great for DD as it will be her last year, she will be applying for uni, etc. What the supposed benefit of this is, god only knows, but they have not even stooped to inform the parents about this yet, only know about it on the grapevine.

OP posts:
saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/04/2010 19:33

I think the office staff will be well aware of your disdain for them. I can almost feel it from here

hocuspontas · 20/04/2010 19:38

The fact that schools function as well as they do never ceases to amaze me. Imagine collating information on 500+ individuals and 100+ staff every day and only rarely getting it wrong. Hurrah for school secs!

FlyMeToDunoon · 20/04/2010 19:39

IME school office staff think they are right about everything and hold parents in disdain.
Waves at any school admin staff.
I would accept any refund offered and learn from this lesson.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/04/2010 19:43
RustyBear · 20/04/2010 19:48

IME many parents think they are right about everything and hold the office staff in disdain...

MrsC2010 · 20/04/2010 19:53

not sure what effect you think vertical forms will have on your daughter's academic success?!

FlyMeToDunoon · 20/04/2010 20:04

Actually that is my experience of many parents too.
Gosh where do I stand?
Just a horrible old grump generally I expect.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 20/04/2010 20:07

Get off that fence FlyMe. You'll get splinters

I love all our parents.

saslou · 20/04/2010 20:20

I would put this in writing to the school. YANBU to expect a refund for a trip your daughter did not attend. She did tell the teacher and it sounds as if the school have not followed things up. The office staff sound a bit defensive, going on what you've said here and I think you are entitled to be critical if the teacher agreed to do something, then didn't do it. I don't see why that should cost you money.