to not take maternity leave?

[jendaisy]

I am v confused about what the best thing to do is here, and trying to get any helpful info from the benefits office is like trying to get blood out of a stone.

I am 26 weeks pg and self employed. I am a sole trader although I do sometimes pay people to help me out on a self employed basis when I am busy. DP is on disbibility benefits and as an ex professional musician still receives some money in royalties. But I am 'the breadwinner', if you like, as I make good money from my business. I probably work around 30 hours per week at the moment, half of which is from home in my own time and half of which is driving around sourcing stock.

So as a self employed person I am entitled to Maternity Allowance, which is around £124 per week I believe, which is about a fifth of what I earn at the moment. And if you are claiming MA then you cannot work at all, not even a tiny little bit. So I don't really see how I can afford to stop working, as it's my income that pays for most things. I could carry on working if I had to, but I am a bit worried about how that will work in reality when I am knackered with a newborn to look after (although DP is very hands on and will help out a lot). Also, I am assuming that everything will go to plan and both me and the baby will be in good health after the birth, if that's not the case I don't really have a plan B. Just wondering whether anyone else has been a similar situation, as I am not sure if I am being a thicky and missing something blindingly obvious here?

Don't think you're missing anything.

The only self-employed people I know with kids had to build up savings to see them through maternity leave.

sorry - that wasn't very helpful

With Maternity Allowance you can do 10 days work

Could you save like mad to ensure you don't have to do anything for at least 2 weeks and then keep things ticking over say 1 or 2 days per week to give yourself just a little bit of time?

Or could you pay one of your freelancers to keep things going for a couple of months? Or can DP help out with the business at all?

lol - no it was. I thought that was the case but having never been in this situation before I wasn't 100% sure. Thanks!

Yes mazzy that's what I thought I would probably have to do, the buying bit I have to do myself as only I know what I want to buy! But the home bit I can get people in to do. The good thing is that my customers are very laid back and if they don't get an order sent for a couple of weeks they won't mind at all, so there's not much pressure, apart from that if I don't work I will be skint!

DP is a man of many talents but I think he would be as much use as a chocolate teapot when it comes to my business! A lot of it involves ironing and in the past he has wrecked more stuff than he has ironed successfully!

My position is similar. I'm going to save up all the work that comes in and do it in 10 lots of one-day batches, and see how long that lasts me. When the 10 days are up - then it's back to the full-time grindstone. Soooooo unfair - I'd love to have six months off like everyone else, and not worry about my tax return, answering emails etc.... The joy of self-employment.

I'm frantically trying to get as far in advance with work as I can. Not knowing exactly when you'll sprog is very annoying for control freaks like me that need to plan everything!

How long can you claim maternity allowance for? I would claim it for as long as you able and if you have the time to do a bit of work on the side, then surely, it's not crime of the century particularly if you are working from home. Realistically, how would anyone know??? £124 per week is not a lot if you have very little other income and if you need to do a few hours here or there to top up your income, then who could blame you?

Sorry, just readover my post - I'm not suggesting committing out-and-out benefit fraud. I really wouldn't worry about it at the moment - every baby is different - you might have one that feeds every 4 hours and sleeps through from Day One in which case, problem solved!!

One of my closest friends is self employed, she didn't take mat leave. She runs childminders with her mum, worked right up until went into labour, had about 10 days off i think after birth (only because it was c-section) then went back.

Unless your bf'ing surely your dp can look after little one? and cross your fingers you don't have to have c section... but even if you do its only a couple of weeks. Sure you'll be fine

I agree Hobnob - 6 months off would be bloody lovely! But i would have no business to come back to if that was the case. I can't complain too much though, I think the pro's still outweigh the cons, and I am the kind of person who goes stir crazy without things to focus on so it will probably do me good (a lot of my out and about work involves chatting and drinking cups of tea so I'm sure I can manage that with a newborn!). Good luck with your baby!

That's not really possible Tryharder as all money is paid into my bank account and I have an invoice system etc...I wouldn't want the stress of getting done for fraud!

I am planning on bf'ing Pootles, I bf with dd1 for 7 months and I would like to think I could do the same again. But DP is desperate for a child (he tragically lost his son 7 years ago) and it's going to be a case of wrestling the baby away from him when she needs feeding I think! He certainly won't be shirking his responsibilites and is at home all the time so it should work out OK.

I would agree with trying to save as much money in the now, while you can control it. I was a contractor and was totally unprepared! Not giving you horror stories but this is the one time of your life when you are not in control.

Work out a budget you need to survive on every week and aim for around 6 weeks plus incase:

If you have to have an emergency C-section you will need at least 6 weeks to recover.

I had to go in a week before due date as my legs turned black and BP shot up.

After birth of 10lb DS had to have 14 stitches up my fanjo and walked like John Wayne for a week after, only managing to stagger from kitchen to bathroom.

There are lots of appointments and waiting to attend post birth.

After two weeks of total sleep depravation I couldn't walk straight let alone drive to work and plan for an Autumn Winter Womenswear collection lol!

it's not easy for some mums to switch off - my husband would say sleep but i always woke up with DS anyway - it's instinct, and the night feeds take it out on you.

Breastfeeding - if you are doing it.

I had a self employed friend who was back in work 3 days after DS' birth with the baby on the desk in his car seat. Legally you are not allowed to work for two weeks, and I think it's to do with exposure to infections, and everything going back into place/normal size in your body.

Plan for the worst and just surprise yourself. It may be ideal if you can do some hours from home or pop out for a few hours at a time, and it's wonderful that DH is there so you can take a shower (my DH was away in Kosovo, so even washing was a mare...)and feel a bit human to go out to your customers.....

Plus you need some me time too. All the best x

Jen - did you say you'd be working from home? Maybe can do a few feeds on your breaks or something? Really sorry to hear about your dp's son.

Your DP can look after the baby and you can work flexibly so if you want to breastfeed you can.

However, you must allow yourself time after the birth to recover so you may want to claim MA for a short time.

Delegate as much as you can - maybe take someone on on a casual basis to do stuff that you can't.

You could be out sourcing stock with your DP and the baby.

Being self-employed means you can decide how much you can/can't do and if you want to take your DP and baby with you to work well that's up to you.

There are so many positives to your situation

Thanks lottaluvin, your post did make me laugh (though i will be laughing on the other side of my face if similar happens to me!!!).

I think I will just get as much cash in the bank as poss before July and if the shit hits the fan I should be able to manage - I know I am very lucky to have ultra keen DP around as apart from the breastfeeding he will be able to do a lot of the looking after. And if this one is anything like DD1 she will sleep all the time anyway! And the part of my job that I can't get out of doing (the out and about bit), I will be able to take the baby with me, so I won't be abandoning her!

Ummmm surely is OP's DP is on disability benefit he shouldn't be able to work... so I don't get how he could help out run the business!

Thanks JustAnother, yes I am lucky in a number of ways as my job is so flexible and I can work around the kids, do a bit here and there as the baby sleeps etc. Lucky for me the baby is due in July and that's when I switch from selling spring/summer to autumn/winter stuff and i already have tons of autumn/winter clothes in stock, so I could get 3 or 4 boxes ready over the next few weeks (which would be my whole month's work) and then the only work I would have to do is order a courier to pick them up. Problem solved! I can't believe that has only just occured to me!

Well as my husband says in the army it's the 5 p's - proper preparation prevents poor performance lol...it's great that you are thinking about these things.

I breastfed but was very conscious of lopping my 36H knockers out in public, so used to express milk when he slept and keep it for going out. DS managed to get used to both bottle and boobies so that was very helpful...as when they need a feed, they need a feed! That may work out as a useful way for you too, as hubby can enjoy the feeds (as mine did) but you are still giving DC breastmilk.

We rented one of those Medala electric machines (which my husband lovingly named the "Udder 2000").I used to pop them on and watch half an hour of TV to distract myself from feeling like an old heffer

We won't talk about the 2 hour meeting with Concessions Director at House of Fraser 3 months after having DS where my nipples leaked all through my top. He was soo embarrassed he didn't know where to look -gave me the job though - sympathy vote perhaps for prattling on too long!!!

LMAO lottaluvin - interesting sales tactics you have there!!! I did try expressing milk with dd1 but I found it too bloody weird, mind you I didn't try the electric pump so maybe I'll give that a go. But lucky (!?) for me, I had excessively leaky boobs, which for the first 3 months just pissed milk out pretty much constantly - I used to wake up in the morning having slept on 2 huge towels and I would be able to actually wring them both out! Euwww. And while I was feeding the spare boob would leak just as much as the one I was feeding from, so I used things called breast shells to harvest this and in no time at all I had a freezer full of the bloody stuff! DD couldn't get through it all! So if that happens again I will be fine!

Oh I remember the soaking towel, i used to run to the bathroom with two cups over my nips to get to the toilet in the morning....like the idea of the shells, didn't you just hate wasting any? I used to be paranoid it would run out LMAO!

Hi sorry i didnt read all th posts. Are you not be entitled to WTC and FTC when you are self employed?? you do not have to declare a certain amount of the maternity pay (cant remember how much) and i know it isnt much but you can get this campaigns2.direct.gov.uk/money4mum2be/en/

Thanks Manda, yes I do claim both of those benefits and I understand I will get more from them when I have 2 kids. And I knew about the £190, I am going to see the midwife tomorrow so I'll get that started!

Can't you take 6 weeks maternity leave, then your DP can be the childcarer and you can go back to work?

You have 10 "Keeping in Touch" days while on maternity leave anyway, so you can do 10 days work while claiming MA.

Can you get someone else to cover for a short while (say 4 weeks), even if there are certain things they can't do? Then ease yourself back in gradually with your 10 KIT days.

FWIW I somehow managed to get paid Maternity Allowance for 3 days a week, when I was working 2 days a week, but I gather from other posters that this was unusual! I didn't set out to get it, I just replied to all the questions about which days I had worked, and then received a cheque!

You have the same rights as an employed person with regard to keeping in touch (KIT) days - you can do up to 10 full days work while still on mat leave. So you can start processing invoices while still getting mat allowance, provided you have only worked on 10 days (I mean, I don't think you can do 20 half days - any work you do on a particular day counts it as a work day. Not 100% on that bit so you may want to confirm it.)