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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unsettled by a four year old rescue Boxer being left to run free in the local playing field with an 11 yr old and a 8 yr old in charge?

43 replies

MitsubishiWarrioress · 18/04/2010 19:16

The family have had him for 3 days and I feel very unsettled by it.
They don't know the dog.
I am very wary of dogs at the best of times and just don't feel comfortable with the whole thing.

OP posts:
nickytwotimes · 18/04/2010 19:23

Yanbu.
Far too early days for that, besides there should always be an adult present with dogs imo.
I love dogs, but still would feel very uncomfprtable about that.

Tiredmumno1 · 18/04/2010 19:23

There are so many bad stories at the mo with dog attacks. sorry to say it but maybe its time to think that it should be made legal that families with young kids cannot own dogs, just for the safety.

rainbowinthesky · 18/04/2010 19:28

That's ridiculous to say that families with young children cannot own dogs. Millions of people are responsible dog owners whose dogs never hurt young children.
THere are lots of stories at the moment about parents abusing young children. Maybe it's time we stopped parents having children.

rainbowinthesky · 18/04/2010 19:29

To answer the op - yes, I would be very vary of this. Not much you can do I guess though but steer clear.

MrsC2010 · 18/04/2010 19:33

What a ridiculous suggestion, does that mean because I'm pregnant we should get rid of our two beautifully natured, soppy beasts? I don't think so.

Anyway, back to the OP, that does sound irresponsible. When we got our second dog from a rescue centre it was recommended we didn't let her off the lead for the first month or so so that we could establish our relationship with her, she would recognise our authority, we could test her recall etc etc. As it is, she is amazingly well behaved andobedient...we definitely got lucky!

Original poster
MitsubishiWarrioress · 18/04/2010 19:35

I know it coincides with a bad story, which made me think twice about posting, but he is a hefty dog, and it just made me go cold.

Lots of the dog owners in the village are really good and use muzzles. My neighbours dog tried to kill their own cat yesterday, and it was frightening, the grown man struggled to separate them and admitted if he hadn't been there, the cat would have been killed. Kids would not be strong enough and probably too frightened themselves to do anything if the worst happened.

I know the Mum, and am thinking about saying something. It is next to the play park where the toddler and LO's play area is and I am not sure how easy it would be for the dog to get through. And it is going to want to chase anything that is being thrown, which isn't fair. I had to stop playing with the DC's in a park recently because someone's dog kept chasing our ball.

OP posts:
jonicomelately · 18/04/2010 19:36

Whoever rehomed the dog would have done a thorough assessment of it before placing it with children.

I had two boxers throughout my childhood and neither were aggressive.

They don't have the powerful jaws or aggressive tendancies (imo) that other similar breeds have.

I wouldn't worry at all.

MeMudmagnet · 18/04/2010 19:38

Not good at all.
No idea what you can do about it though.

Boxers are strong dogs, I doubt children of this age would be able to control him even if they kept him on a lead when out.

My 11yr old dd is very dog savvy and is very involved with our dog obedience and training club. But I wouldn't let her take our dog out alone.

GypsyMoth · 18/04/2010 19:40

no,i agree op,too soon

as for the comment about owning dogs if you have children.....wont have prevented the cases that have been in the news will it?? think about it.....they belonged to OTHER family members....on yesterdays occasion it was the uncle.

jonicomelately · 18/04/2010 19:40

How do you know the dog hasn't been trained to return on command etc MeMudmagnet? I regularly took our boxer out when I was 11 and can't recall a single time when I couldn't control her.

rainbowinthesky · 18/04/2010 19:42

What about banning parents with young children from owning dogs and their relations and friends. Oh and neighbours.

Original poster
MitsubishiWarrioress · 18/04/2010 19:42

I personally don't know what the answer is. I know there are responsible dog owners, and seemingly placid natured dogs. Although sadly DS was chased by a 'good natured' dog to the point that he wet himself in fright because it wanted his toy, and we couldn't get to him fast enough and he was too confused to just let go of it. He shouldn't have had to but the bloody owner was useless.

I know dogs need to come off the lead and have some freedom but it is definitely a massive problem.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 18/04/2010 19:42

and random people in the park...

Desiderata · 18/04/2010 19:43

I think boxers get a bad press because of their appearance.

They're actually very nice dogs.

Whether any dog should be running free in an enclosed play area is another story, however.

rainbowinthesky · 18/04/2010 19:45

It was a local playing field. Our local playing field has no apparatus and is just a large field so hardly anyone goes there - dogs or people.

MeMudmagnet · 18/04/2010 19:46

Jonicomelately- The family have only had him for 3 days.
As has been said, it takes time to establish a relationship. If the dog was old or very laid back it would be a different story. Or if they'd had him for a few years even.

Don't get me wrong, I love Boxers and think they're fun family dogs.

MrsC2010 · 18/04/2010 19:49

Regardless of the dog's tendencies, very irresponsible to allow them off the lead after 3 days. The dog could be perfectly harmless and just not come back because they don't recognise the people are their owners, whether they are children or not.

jonicomelately · 18/04/2010 19:52

Yes I agree MeMudmagnet but presuming the dog has been rehomed via a reputable source it will have been assiduously tested in relation to its suitablity to be placed with children. That includes whether it is likely to knock them over.

Understandably the OP may have seen a photo of a mastiff type dog and a boxer and conclude they are similar if not the same. As we agree, they are totally different, hence why so few of them are seen on the end of ropey looking people's leads.

darkandstormy · 18/04/2010 19:52

can't see what the problem is tbh, there is nothing nicer than 2 kids with a beloved family pet playing,I am sure they will grow up to be caring,kind and responsible individuals.Muzzle some of the more hormonal harridans on mumsnet I say,and let those of us who are reasonable go out with our cats dogs whatever, the rest of you file your nails or whatever and stay at home.It is very safe there.

EggyAllenPoe · 18/04/2010 19:54

i used to walk our rough collie whilst i was 11 years old - though she was familiar to me, i don't you could have the same confidence in a dog so recently rescued - so yes a daft thing to allow.

bluecardi · 18/04/2010 19:58

Not after 3 days - the dog needs training with the family. imo dogs should be on the lead in public places.

Our dog is never off the lead when out & about. It's not just big dogs who can be mean. A poodle attacked our terrier last week. Luckily all ok.

nooka · 18/04/2010 20:04

If you know the Mum then just talk to her. Not because this dog is likely to hurt anyone, but because the children who are supposed to be looking after it would probably be very upset if it ran off and they couldn't get it to come, which is the much more likely scenario. An eleven year old is certainly old enough to be in charge of a dog (I'm happy sending my 9 and 10 year old to walk our puppy, and walked our family dog as one of my chores for many years), but in this scenario it is probably both unfair and unwise.

Tiredmumno1 · 18/04/2010 20:19

The lovely lady at our local rescue centre says that if any family want a dog they should wait until the kids are teens

Missus84 · 18/04/2010 20:25

I think it's quite irresponsible to send two children out unaccompanied with a dog they've had for 3 days, regardless off the breed! They don't know enough about the dog, and aren't familiar with each other.

How awful would it be for the children if the dog darted out into the road and they didn't react quick enough? Is an 11 year old strong enough to physically control a boxer?

Original poster
MitsubishiWarrioress · 18/04/2010 20:26

darkandstormy, I don't think there was any need for that,

I am not prone to over reacting and don't need to be told to stay at home where it is 'safe' to file my nails.
My point is that after only three days it is hardly a 'beloved family pet'. It wasn't going to the kids when called as they had not establishes a relationship with him.

Am I being over sensitive because of the look of the breed? Maybe a little. But then I have had to deal with a child with a serious dog phobia as a result of a small incident with a Boxer cross with a cow (well, it was flipping enormous, I don't know what it was really crossed with), and it took a long time to get him to a point where he wouldn't stand behind me if there was any dog nearby.

I am not phobic about it, but I think pretending there isn't a problem at all and being derogatory about people with concerns, is a little naive.
The truth is, that there is a problem that needs addressing so that families can enjoy lives with their precious pooches, whilst ensuring the worst doesn't happen, because however small the percentage of incidents is.. it is pretty horrific when things go wrong.

OP posts:
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