to have loaned money

[bankofMUGisclosed]

I have just discovered that a friend I loaned money to (who has paid back less than half) has been borrowing from others and not paying them back either.
I feel so sad about this.
I have always loaned on the basis that you loan if you can afford to not worry about when it is repaid.
This chap has a fairly lavish lifestyle and is generous - throwing large lunch parties and feeding us but I feel a bit sick that he does with other people's money.
(I loaned him for rent when he was between jobs)
He always works but the sums have never added up - I know what he earns and what his rent is so have always thought he is being supplemented by family although he never admits this.
I know what you are going to say...

What was the arrangement for repaying?
Has he stuck to the arrangements? I'm assuming he hasn't, or there wouldn't be an issue.
Sounds like he's just one of those people who are crap with money.

I think what you have to decide is which is more important - getting your money back or keeping his friendship. If the latter, you may well have to keep quiet and be prepared never to see the money again.

Thanks mumblechum - that is very clearly put.
It isn't so much the money - I'm pretty much resigned to not getting it. It's just the idea that he has asked others as well and as our mutual friend put it: perhaps the reason he has so many friends is that they are all hanging around hoping to get repaid!

It's a really shabby way to behave.
It's the loss of a kind of trust really that feels so horrid.

Well, it's a bugger, but it's one of those lessons you won't forget.