My dearest friends mum died very unexpectedly this week. She has obviously been spending a lot of time with her family and sorting out arrangements etc. I have kept in contact with her every day via the phone and asked her what she wants me to do to help, e.g. does she want to stay with me when she returns from family?, shall i go to her hometown to meet her?. I have left it up to her but let her know that anything she needs that I can help with I will do.
I do not like her partner (she is married her husband knows) and she (my friend) knows this. I have always made it known that it is up to her who she chooses to see and nothing to do with me and I would never be rude to her partner or let her know I don't like her. I received an email from said partner today telling me what I should be doing to comfort friend, i.e. going to her hometown and seeing her family and explaining how my friend feels. She also suggests my partner should do this as he has known my friend a long time and is close to her also. This has made me angry as the tone of the email suggests I haven't been comforting my friend enough and I think its a bit presumptuous to tell people how to behave at a time like this. Also I have an eight week old baby and lost my own mother in similar circumstances 4 years ago.
She wants me to give her my number so she can talk to me about my friend (tell me how to behave). AIBU to ignore her and not reply to the email or in fact to want to tell her how to behave as she in the past has often let my friend down?