Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that my Mum was bloody rude and shouldn't have said what she did?

28 replies

Rachyrachrach · 17/04/2010 15:00

OK I've got quite a lot of weight to lose - probably about another 4 stone if I'm brutally honest with myself.

Since the end of January I've been going to the gym for an hour before work every weekday morning and also do an aqua aerobics class once a week. I've also been taking more care over what I eat - not dieting or obsessively calorie counting but just being more conscious of what I'm putting into my body. I've been losing weight quite slowly but steadily, only a pound or two a week but the gym instructor lady who I see for monthly reviews says that is fine because I'm not just losing weight but also converting fat to muscle. She talks a lot about healthy, sustainable weight loss and insists that the way I am losing weight is the best way to keep it off. I have noticed that when I take body fat readings from the scales at the gym that they are decreasing substantially all the time so I'm quite happy with the way everything's going really. I would obviously like to wake up tomorrow morning and be a size 10 overnight but I have to accept that it took me quite some time to put all this weight on so it's going to take me a while to get it off again too.

Soooo my Mum.... we were chatting on the phone earlier about nothing remotely connected to diets, excercise or weight and out of nowhere she comes out with "you know all this weight you're supposedly losing? Well it's not really noticeable"
I was a little taken aback by this and said something along the lines of "well thanks very much and you're looking great yourself" and she gets all huffy and "well you don't need to be like that, I was just saying"

AI really BU to think that she should be more supportive of what I'm doing and not say such a personal, hurtful thing even if she does think it?

OP posts:
Goodadvice1980 · 17/04/2010 17:20

Afraid it does sound like your mum is a bit jealous.

I know it's difficult, but perhaps try to gloss over the hurtful stuff in future if she comments on your weight?

Congratulations on your weight loss! An amazing achievement!

BusyMissIzzy · 17/04/2010 17:26

YANBU, what an awful thing to say!

P.S. 1-2lb/week is a sensible rate to lose if you want to keep it off. And the more muscle you gain the more fat your body will burn, so you're well on the right track. I'd recommend taking measurements (or just going by how your clothes feel) to judge more accurately than weight

ChippingIn · 17/04/2010 21:52

RRR - yep - sounds like a classic case of 'Mother-Foot-in-Mouth' - she's your Mum, she's allowed to say what she thinks, without actually thinking it through first didn't ya know ...

If you are being honest with yourself, when you look in the mirror, can you see that you have lost weight? You have probably lost around a stone, with another 4 to go, depending on where you have lost it from already, it probably isn't that noticable.

Maybe, what she was trying to say, in an arse about face way, was that you are putting in a lot of effort, for seemingly little return, are you sure you're doing this the right way...

Try to look at it from another point of view, if you were doing something else - say, painting the house and putting in this much time/effort but had only done a small amount and your Mum thought that for the amount of time you had put into it, you deserved to have painted more than the skirting boards, you wouldn't take offence would you, you would simply point out that if you used a roller you'd be almost finished, but that with your 'lovely new tiny brush' it will take longer, but the result will be fantastic and it will last forever... you wouldn't be upset though would you, you would just tell her why you are doing it your way and why the result is better and in the end if she didn't agree - it wouldn't matter. It's the same with weight loss, it's just we are really sensitive about it.

I say we, as I need to lose as much as you. The difference is, you are doing something about it - and I'm not!!

You are doing well, you are doing it the right way and more importantly, it's making you feel fab while you are doing it - not tired, starving and cranky!

Let us know how you are going from time to time

New posts on this thread. Refresh page