to look for a new job whilst ttc

[tummytickler]

I have seen my perfect job advertised, the job I have fantasised about since I was a child - it is a completely different direction in my career and I would be earning a hell of a lot less than I do now, we also have no savings left.

It is a lovely independant company, and I would feel awful if I applied and actually got the job and then found out I was pregnant before or just after starting.
However, we have been ttc no5 for ages, so chances are it could take a lot longer, although Sod's Law surely dictates I will get my BFP the day before I start my dream job!
Of course - I may not even get the job, so I dont want to stop ttc for this reason, or I will be another month behind.
The chances of this job coming up again are quite small and I am so annoyed with the job I am in now (although Maternity package is not bad).

So, do I apply? Do I carry on ttc or should I have a break - I would feel awful if I was pg when starting - could I be dismissed? what should I do?

It's a bit rambly - sorry

if you are ttc, then you wouldn't be in your dream job for long anyway. and would you be in a position to resume your job once your maternity leave was up ( if its child no5 then I don't know where you would find the time !!)
Not being insensitive here, but dream job v child no 5, if you had to choose either or,at least in the short term what would it be, given this job opportunity may not come along again,

It doesn't sound like the best start to your new dream career tbh.

I dunno, DP runs a small biz and I can see it more from the employer's pov so maybe I'm just being narrow minded. I know you have your rights too, but it seems like you would just be purposely pissing folk off if you got the job and got pregnant. They'd have to rcruit all over againb if you had to go on maternity leave.

Are you really that set on number 5???

Why not go for the job, see what happens. If you're shortlisted, or get an offer, then tell them you're TTC, that this is your dream job and you'd be back after maternity leave. Say that if they don't want to offer you the job on that basis, you'll walk away without trying to sue their arses off, but that if the opportunity comes up again, you'd like them to keep you in mind.

See, I know that you have employment rights, and I know that they've been very hard won (speaking as one who didn't get maternity leave for DC1 and had to take twelve weeks unpaid sabbatical to give birth and recover), but you should maybe be the bigger person here (plus, if it's a new field you're trying to break into, do you really want to get a dodgy reputation for the future).

YANBU

YANBU - you can't put your life on hold while TTC. If you're anything like me it could take years to conceive. There's no way I would pass an opportunity because of TTC. I'd never have a life!
Go for it!

Thanks everyone. They have a part time and full time position on offer , so would be going for part time. I dream of working part time instead of the long hard slog of a week I am on now. I can easily go back to work for 2 or 3 days a week after baby is born as dh can do his days with some flexibility.
I think it is the bad feeling I would worry about.

YABU.

I was right with you until I read "no5".

Think about it, if what you are about to do was common practice, and employers were repeatedly taking on new staff only to have them go on maternity leave ten months later, they would surely, especially if they are a smaller company, begin to think about discriminating in favour of male applicants next time round.

It's also dishonest.

If it was your first or second kid, I'd have some sympathy for your position, but I feel you are trying to have your cake and eat it too.

I can see it from both sides.

It can be a nightmare for a small company to cover maternity leave - it's very inconvenient & costly. Part of the problem though is not knowing if the woman will actually return to the job or not. As you are TTC No5, then at least you know where you stand with how you'll feel after the baby is here & how much time you want to take off - so that's a bonus as they can plan around that (rather than just waiting until the end of the maternity entitlement to say if you're returning or not).

IF this really is your dream job and you are absolutely sure that you can handle it (the new position, the cut in pay etc) and this is the only stumbling block, then I think you should go for it.

In your situation, if/when I got pregnant I would tell them that No5 was a bit of a suprise, I would not be telling them it was planned. I would apologise and I would work out what the minimum maternity leave I could handle would be and tell them that you are sure you will be back on that date, rather than leaving them up in the air about how long they need to cover you for.

In the meantime, I'd be bloody good at my job and do my very best to not have time off etc I would also forego any of the allowed leave for Dr's appointments etc (whenever possible) and do those in my own time...

What is this 'Dream Job'?

From personal experience, I had been TTCing for 2 years, wasn't happy in my job (but it had good maternity package, nice people to work with etc) then said sod it, applied for and got another job, and discovered I was PG in the time before taking up the new one! Prob a coincidence but maybe the getting on with doing what I wanted made things happen - who knows!
Anyway, I joined the new company and told them about a month it. Not a huge amount they could do about it and I passed my probation fine. But I also discovered that a job I thought would be perfect on paper really didn't suit me at all, and I prob would have left had I not gone on maternity leave.
I also moved to another part of the country while on M/L, quit my job and am now self employed!
So, I'd basically say go for it as:

• You have no idea how long it might take to get PG
• The "dream job" on paper might be different in reality
• Life's short and in hindsight maybe the best thing might have been not to, but you don't know. So apply anyway, you have nothing to lose!

Go for it! Not dishonest at all, no guarantees either way on both of those goalso you may as well try both of them! ggod luck to you

IMHO YABVU, you say it is a independant company, yet there is a recession ATM, and if you get pg with NO.5!, this could cost the company alot of money in covering your shifts, mat leave e.t.c.
However, if it was a large national chain, then i would say go for it, as they would probebly be more likly to be in a position to support pg employees without going under IYSWIM.
I used to work for a small company, and we had a lady who fell pg just after starting, and because of all her "RIGHTS" and the costs involved, i had to do most of her work, as well as my own, and we all had to have our time off re-arranged e.t.c cause of her "rights", and we all resented her for it.

IveStillGotIt - I can't understand your venom towards that woman at all. Surely it's misdirected anger? Your employer should have made sure her duties were covered and NOT by shoveling them onto existing staff. It's not her fault, it's your employer's for being negligent in arranging proper cover.

It just makes me sad to see this attitude is still around.

Did you apply for it?