to want dh to believe me when I say I'm pregnant?

[Numama]

Have taken a test, positive, been to EPAU (had 3 previous miscarriages so called as soon as I took the test) and had a 'possible' embryo sac found, and bloods show Hcg at over 1000 (follow up tomorrow) but dh maintains that I can't be pregnant because it's too soon after previous m/c (4th March) and he doesn't recall us having had sex since. I'm certain that we did (or I wouldn't have taken test!) It was only once, I was getting over m/c and then he got seriously ill with a blood infection, but I'm SURE I didn't imagine it! I know I really want to be pregnant, and getting and staying pregnant has been a struggle in the past, but surely if this was a hysterical pregnancy the EPAU team would have discovered it by now? I'm really worried he thinks I'm either becoming a nutcase or have cheated on him (although he hasn't said either) and I'm fairly sure I'm not and absolutely haven't! When will he believe me?

What a bizarre post. No idea if you ABU. I think you both sound traumatised and you sound hysterical, I hope you are ok. V pleased for you after 3mcs, so very best of luck

Ouch sounds like you've been having a really hard time.

i don't know anything about hysterical pregnancies but they aren't that common surely? If all the tests say you're pregnant, then you're pregnant really.

Not sure what you're going to say to DH thought if he is insisting that you haven't had sex!Sure he will remember he's probably just trying not to get excited after everything that's happened.

Good luck

Sorry to hear about your previous losses, although you oare obviously excited to be pregnant, you are bound to be a bit apprehensive too, and perhaps in danger of picking up on every tiny thing your DH says, and reading more into it than he means?

Try not to stress about what DH is thinking ATM. Sounds like his head is still in the "aftermath" of the last m/c & he's not on the same page as you yet, and has not thought about the possibility of another pregnancy just yet. He'll be fine, he just needs a bit of time to "catch up" & you don't need the stress ATM.

Fingers crossed you get a lovely doubled or better HcG number tomorrow

terrible use of word 'hysterical' by me sorry. I meant you sound absolutely hit for six by all this and v stressed. Not saying the pg is hysterical. Once again good luck

Sorry to hear about your m/cs. But I can understand his scepticism - I was in your shoes 3yo, having had a m/c and devastated and desparate to become pregnant again. It sounds like he just doesn't want to get his hopes up
You could be pregnant, it is a definite possibility, but it can take some time for your HCG levels to go down, if you can I would go back to EPU for another HCG count, as that will give you a better picture, when you are pg your HCG levels will roughly double every day.

Good luck

Went out for a lovely meal last night and managed to have a bit of a chat after studiously avoiding the topic all day. He said he didn't mean to be hurtful or dismissive at the hospital, he just doesn't want me to get my hopes up and have them crushed again. Off to hospital at 2.30 for 2nd blood test, so will hopefully have a clearer picture of what's going on by tonight.

Best of luck. DH is probably in denial/shock/fear so cut him some slack...I'm sure he doesn't really think you cheated on him!

I hope it sticks

It sounds like he just can't risk raising his hopes again and he is literally refusing to play the 'raise your hopes' game this time round. Hard for you though because you HAVE to be involved and there's no way to protect your emotions. YOU have to feel all the feelings.

I'm amazed they are doing a routine blood test on a Sunday. I'd normally expect this to be done by your GP or the gynae staff during office hours.
If I'd had 3 miscarriages I wouldn't feel or be telling anyone I was pregnant until I got to 12 weeks with everything OK.

2rebecca - not sure if you are trying to imply anything with your message - it almost sounds like you don't believe the OP?

It may well be different in your area, but my local EPAU is open for a few hours on a Sunday - I had a blood test & scan done on a Sunday when they thought I might have an ectopic pregancy (I didn't DD is now 4)

OP - I hope you got good news today.

Aw OP, so sorry to hear about your previous m/c's. If I was you, I'd be just as anxious. Your DH is probably just as apprehensive about the whole thing and maybe it's a self preservation thing? Maybe he doesn't want to get too excited if he's seen you go through all that awfulness before. I really hope everything goes well for you x

Had blood test and hcg has gone from a positive sounding 1201, to only just over 1300, so things are not looking good. They are now thinking that the pregnancy is either failing or ectopic, but as I'm feeling well in myself, am not bleeding or in pain, they are going to leave it until Friday and then scan me again to see if the little egg sac they saw before is doing anything. I feel totally and completely gutted.

2rebecca:
my EPAU shares care at the weekend with the gynae ward, I went there for the bloods to be taken today. I told EPAU about the positive pregnancy test straight away because they told me to following the previous m/c, so that I could be seen from the beginning this time and maybe get to the bottom of why this keeps happening.
I talk to people on here so I can (anonnymously) get all this emotion off my chest without telling everyone around me, and
am I supposed to keep a positive pregnancy test secret from even my husband until 12 weeks?

So sorry to hear that it is not looking good for you.

Sometimes the men are a bit forgotten in the aftermath of a miscarriage, not deliberately but just because they are not physically having to cope with it.

Take your time, speak with your DH as much as possible. He is grieving for the losses and worried about you at the same time, and men are expected to be the strong ones, the ones that can be leaned on.

Hope that things work out for you, take care of yourself.

I don't think you should keep it secret from your husband, but I wouldn't consider it a viable pregnancy until 12 weeks, you were getting annoyed with him for not getting excited about you being pregnant. I 'd be more inclined to share his view of it being too early yet to really view it as a pregnancy.
I hope things go well, but I'm not convinced having lots of early scans and tests adds anything to early pregnancy management and sometimes seeing a sac and then seeing it gone is worse than just miscarrying and never seeing anything. Different if ectopic, then you need to know, but it's unusual to see an egg sac if ectopic.