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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I might have been a bit of a tit.....

21 replies

SleepyCaz · 15/04/2010 16:46

Last night I went for a meal and few drinks with some friends. In the bar we went to after the meal, I bumped into a long standing friend and his girlfried, and his best mate. The long standing friend has recently got back together with the girlfriend after splitting up and her treating him vvv badly and him ending up on anti-deps for months. Not all that sure that it's a good idea for them to have got back together, but anyway...
All had a few drinks, they joined me and my friends. Talk turned to when LS friend and I had been sort of casual sex partners about 10 years ago. All laughing, chit chat. Then he started to be a bit arrogant about it, "Oh you couldn't get enough of it, you were a boomerang etc etc", thought this was strange talk, esp in front of his GF, but decided they were nice and open about stuff. He kept it up, really being quite 'cock of the walk' about it . So I made the point to him that while his ex wife was pregnant 6 years ago, he called me, told me he was unhappy and depressed, I got DH out of bed, made him drive me to where friend was, only to be told that he wanted a quick shag, and I turned him down. He was a bit pissed off, and his best mate told me I had been out of order as he had been "lucky to get his GF back and now I had screwed it up as she thought the story made him sound like a "
This afternoon his Facebook status (I blooming hate Facebook, but that's another thing) says that some of his friends are like enemies, blah blah.
Have I gone a bit too far?

OP posts:

AstronomyDomine · 15/04/2010 16:49

You can't be certain it's about you - could jsut be coincidence????

IWishIWasAFrog · 15/04/2010 16:50

Are you for real?

BigBadMummy · 15/04/2010 16:50

Hell, no.

What was his GF's reaction to all this at the time?

I think this guy dug his own hole last night by discussing your sex life with him, in front of his GF.

In your shoes I would not feel at all guilty of telling the truth. What he was sharing rather noisily was opinion "oh you couldnt get enough".

What you did was show him for what he really is. An arrogant tosser.

larks35 · 15/04/2010 16:51

You were a bit out of order but then so was he (I hate blokes who boast about women not being able to get enough of them - urghh!). Although long-standing, are you two really friends, cos it doesn't like it to me TBH.

gingernutlover · 15/04/2010 16:51

so its okay for him to say stuff about you in public but you cant do the same to him ....

you were both being unreasonable and sharing far too much info IMO - but if she cares for him that much then it wont matter what he did or nearly did in the past.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 15/04/2010 16:53

Why was he ringing you for a shag when you were married and why did you go?

nickelbabe · 15/04/2010 16:54

she didn't know it was for a shag, she thought it was a friendly shoulder while he was depressed.

he's a twat, don't have anything else to do with him.

MissWooWoo · 15/04/2010 16:58

sounds like to me he was using you to "get back" at his girlfriend (everybody wants to shag me, better hang on to me this time), sounds like you put him in his place because he was behaving like an utter dick

he brought the subject up not you - maybe you did go to far but then so did he and I can see why you'd want to tell it like it was

fartblossom · 15/04/2010 16:59

If he cant take it then he shouldnt have dished it out in the first place. You could rise to it and put your status as a reply, but your prob better off forgetting about it now. OK so he tried to make you look bad for his own gain, so you gave him what for. To me it sounded like he was using you to try to show off, but it didnt work so now he's trying to lick his wounds by blaming you.

Swanky · 15/04/2010 17:01

YANBU he is! What a Prat!

Original poster

SleepyCaz · 15/04/2010 17:04

I am for real, yes.

It was all FAR TMI. Certainly would not have been talking like that, in public if had not had 3 cocktails. Although not an excuse, I know. His GF seemed to be fine with him laughing his head off about us in the past, and she was saying, "Oh he is a dick isn't he, bless him?" But he started to take it a bit far IMO.

I WAS NOT going for a shag with him. It was before DH and were married and he called because he needed 'someone to talk to'. Needless to say, when it became clear what he actually had in mind, I left. Rushed home to DH.

Feel silly, but also a bit pragmatic about it. If he wants to cut me off as friend so be it. If he can't take it, he shouldn't dish it out. But also can't help feeling very guilty and worried, should I call him to say sorry?

I sound like a kid, don't I?!

OP posts:

gingernutlover · 15/04/2010 17:08

NO! do not phone him to apologise at all. If you want to apologise to anyone, then make it the girlfriend who was probably made to feel like she's picked an idiot for a boyfriend

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 15/04/2010 17:09

Yes. Don't call him or apologise.

porcamiseria · 15/04/2010 17:09

nah what goes around, comes around

he was boasting that you were gagging for him!
you put him in his place

sounhds like a twat TBH, why was he boasting about his sex life with an ex in front of new GF anyway?

ignore and trim him for a while

damnedchilblains · 15/04/2010 17:18

You both sound like kids tbh however I can't say I would have acted any different in your position, he was a complete twat and if I was his girlfriend I would have been put out as soon as he started talking about you two.

If you were really feeling childish you could reply to his status "I woke up thinking just that"

YallaYalla · 15/04/2010 17:38

LOL.

Sorry this reminds me of a time when an ex-boyfriend of mine said to me, pissed, in front of a room FULL of our friends: "Yalla, have you ever faked an orgasm with me?"

Expecting me to say (because he'd asked me once in private about it) 'no of course not darling i'd never do that' (so obviously a little white lie).

But, because I was so pissed off about his triumphant line of questioning, airing our dirty laundry in public, presuming to know what the answer is and being all cocky in advance as to the answer, I thought I'd sock him with the truth, and said: "Well, yes, I have actually a couple of times. You know, just to get things over with when it's taking too long."

To which he went bright scarlet and all his mates howled with laughter.

Afterwards, he had a go at me and I asked him why on earth he asked me such a question in public if he didn't want the answer. And he replied grumpily, "Well, I thought I knew what the answer was".

MORAL of the story: never, ever, bring up your mutual sex life in front of a group of friends. And especially when you might not like what you hear.

So OP to answer your question, YANBU !!

Coldhands · 15/04/2010 19:30

YANBU. He was being an ass. You told him a home truth and showed him up for the total cock that he is, he couldn't take it.

Don't appologise, you have nothing to be sorry for. Delete him from your FB and be glad that you are not his GF.

ScreaminEagle · 15/04/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NathanBarley · 15/04/2010 21:20

You got him bang to rights, well done

Missus84 · 15/04/2010 21:23

YANBU - he was asking for it.

Original poster

SleepyCaz · 27/04/2010 20:57

Thanks ladies!

He has made a big point of ignoring me/telling people I have 'upset' him and generaaly doing the dying swan bit. Stupi idiot. Sad to lose him as a friend, but quite glad I have seen him for what he really is.

Glad it wasn't just me who thought he was being a nob.

Still feel quite silly, but that is what I get for drinking too much.

OP posts:

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