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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to cancel babysitting swap because DS (2) got on the road last time?

17 replies

Naetha · 15/04/2010 08:55

I haven't yet, but I think I'm going to have to cancel our half of a babysitting swap we're going to do with friends.

I went to their house yesterday for a playdate, and my friend's husband said he'd take the kids outside to play in the garden. 5 minutes later he was still pottering around inside (but obviously preparing to go outside), and the next thing I see is DS sitting on a ride-on car next to our car parked on the main road. I don't think I've ever moved so fast or shouted so loud - thankfully DS stopped dead in his tracks and didn't move an inch until I took him back. The father then vaguely said "oh yeah I'll go put the barrier up [two cot-sides tied together they put across the entrance] in a minute."

I couldn't relax the whole time they were playing outside, and although our friends were happy to leave them alone, I wasn't.

When we came to leave - their DS then proudly ran up to the barrier and moved it aside easily.

I'm happy to have their kids round to ours for their wedding anniversary in 2 weeks time (although their DS is a little thug tbh, but they all have phases don't they...), but I don't know if I can bring myself to leave DS there while we have our half of the babysitting swap the following week.

Should I do it, but say that DS can't play outside unsupervised? Do I trust them? Should I just cancel all together?

Sorry, this is more of a WWYD not an AIBU...

OP posts:

PeedOffWithNits · 15/04/2010 08:57

no you cannot trust them. some people are lax with their own DC and lax with others they are supposed to be looking after. this is why DH and i never go out LOL!

pjmama · 15/04/2010 08:58

If you're not comfortable with these people taking care of your DS, then don't do it. You'll have a crappy time anyway worrying about him.

IMoveTheStars · 15/04/2010 09:03

YANBU.

MrsShu · 15/04/2010 09:04

do you REALLY think there ia the chance that you can trust them?
is this really an AIBU?

girlsyearapart · 15/04/2010 09:05

Are their children older than yours?

sometimes people 'forget' what they should be stopping a younger child from doing if they're used to older ones..

I would cancel it too- esp since they didn't seem concerned even after you ran out to get your dc.

Generally when I look after other children I watch them more closely than my own!

BetsyBoop · 15/04/2010 09:12

ok, put it another way, how would you feel if you let your DS go & something happened?

I coudln't trust people like that with my kids again

Your DS wasn't "accidentally" put in danger (eg postman accidentally left a previously shut & had-checked-closed-before-letting-DS-out gate open) it was a flagrant lack of care/supervision on their part

YAsoNBU

waitingforbedtime · 15/04/2010 09:14

Saying ds cant play outside unsupervised would be no good - they probably dont consider leaving them alone for 5/10 min outside as unsupervised (though I would at that age)

I wouldnt trust them.

saslou · 15/04/2010 10:48

Another one saying cancel. If they are not careful with their own dc, they are not going to be careful with yours.

PurplePillow · 15/04/2010 10:51

I am not sure of your lo's age but if you are not happy then cancel...simples

RockSteady · 15/04/2010 11:21

yanbu,you would never forgive yourself if something happened. If you let your DS go there it would probably be ok given that they haven't yet killed or injured their own children, but why take a risk

outnumbered2to1 · 15/04/2010 21:32

if you don't trust them you can't leave your dc with them. you won't enjoy your night cos you'll be on edge all night waiting for the phone call you are sure is going come. Plus you know you will never forgive yourself if something does happen....

choosyfloosy · 15/04/2010 21:43

i'm as slack as they come but i do not leave children under 3.5 to their own devices for more than about a minute. a 2-year-old next to a road? not for a second. cancel.

Pozzled · 15/04/2010 21:47

Cancel. It's not worth taking a chance, and you wouldn't relax because you'd be worrying about it.

pigletmania · 15/04/2010 21:51

Yes cancel, if you are not happy than dont.

LittleSilver · 15/04/2010 21:52

Cancel.

thisisnotwhoyouthink · 15/04/2010 22:42

I would definitely cancel as well.

Can i just ask, though, no offence intended at all..if you were around, and the Dad was pottering, why were you not watching your little one yourself? Sorry, may be a silly question, and was seriously just wondering. No offence meant

WingedVictory · 16/04/2010 09:13

Every child is different. I was stunned the other day, at how docile a friend's DD was being when waiting at the house gate for her mother to lock up and start the walk to the parl. My DS would have been off in the road trying to kiss the cars and get himself run over
(the ultimate consummation of his passion for wheels).

I am rather reluctant to leave him with other people because (a) he is a handful (and strong) and (b) they won't predict all his moves (and he is fast, too!).

If your neighbours have shown they can't predict your little one's moves, they're not really looking after him properly, and don't have the time with him to develop the experience to keep him safe!

Having said all that, perhaps you could somehow take your share of the babysitting share while your DS is (safely) in bed?

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