To put the following sign on my door..

[MinnieMummy]

NO POLITICAL CANVASSERS

HEAVILY PREGNANT WOMAN ASLEEP

DISTURB AT YOUR PERIL

Or do you think I should be more direct??

LOL wouldn't mess with you

Yanbu, sounds good to me. Wish I could put a similar sign up for the delivery men who use me as a holding office...

Good work. Did you not want to add a bit about chuggers and religious conversion types?

YANBU at all!

I put one on my door when DS1 was newborn, "Do not ring this bell ulness you have an appt - or else'

Worked a treat!

We don't get many chuggers round here actually - a few religious types but I'm hoping they wouldn't read it and think 'Oh well, she won't mind a bible reading, clearly'

I like 'Press Bell To Release Attack Dogs'

You could modify to 'Press Bell To Release Attack Mum-To-Be'

When I had ds3 I was very poorly and the kind old lady next door pinned a sign on my door saying ' mum and baby doing fine-resting now,do not disturb - knock next door instead'

I would only worry that it might alert burgalars or something, like announcing that the only occupant of the house is asleep.. maybe that is just me paranoid. I think the one dont ring unless you have an apt is better for that reason

I don't think you need to justify not wanting to be disturbed.

"Don't ring this doorbell if:

You are a political canvasser
You are a Chugger
You are doing any sort of Market Research
You are selling anything
You want to talk about religion"

Should suffice

How about just "FUCK OFF." ?

Well I did think that oojimaflip... but then the neighbours might think I am a mite unfriendly.

Anyway I put it up earlier and it worked. No interruptions to my nap other than my own snoring. Obviously the fact that we haven't actually had any door-to-door canvassers yet had nothing to do with it, and it was all down to the sign..

I am with oojimaflip! I dont have a small baby, but I might just alter it slightly and put 'FUCK OFF all sad irritating political canvassers, I'M NOT INTERESTED' unfortunately I cant do the same for Jehovah's Witnesses, my dad is one and I know loads of them personally!

I just have a sign saying "no cold callers".
It doesn't always work, though.

Doorbell has no batteries in it (since 2000 or earlier) and I tend to listen out only for postman or if I am expecting a delivery.

As I have a porch with glass top to bottom, I cannot hide if I go out of the front door, but keep the porch locked, so I can turn on my heel without hearing much more than the dulled sound of protest from a caller.

re Jehovah's Witnesses - most recent visitor accepted my "no thanks" as I saw his bag full of Watchtower (?) and his buddy at the pavement waiting for him...

Upstairs had a couple of webcams to monitor drive - think I will need to reinstate something similar in lounge to avoid political visitors (have moved 3 PCs down here now).

I would love to have a sign "callers without an appointment are in danger of getting shot" (*) but suspect a team of armed police would appear soon after first upset meter reader reports my sign!

(*) It's a nice big air rifle but if it was inside house behind frosted glass it could be mistaken for a proper rifle.

I've put one up today saying 'Canvassers - we have already decided for whom we are going do vote. Please do not knock'

I am particularly proud of the grammar

Saw a great spoof news story (thanks to another mentioning MN being linked to).

It's only about political candidates but might make you chuckle here

Going do Vote?

DO IT!

And AKMD - i too used to be the local holding office - but decided that i got sick of seeing all my neighbours mail which they didn't pick up for weeks sitting in my hallway.
So told them no from now on.

And OP - I too love oojimaflips suggestion - perhaps dress it up with a:
KINDLY FUCK OFF
or the traditional:
PLEASE FUCK OFF
or:
PLEASE EVERYONE FUCK OFF!

i wish i had had the courage to put up a sign with

"if you ring this doorbell and wake my sleeping baby you will have to put him back to sleep cos i've just spent at least 45 minutes settling him so you can walk up and down my hallway with him cos my back won't fucking take it anymore"

when my DS2 was born and really really hard to settle cos of his wee dislocated hips and body brace thing.....

Alright, typo, 'going TO vote' of course. mutter mutter..

I'd go with oojimaflip reccommendation

Just put up a sign saying 'No callers without appointment' - you can get these from most local councils.
I say this as a market researcher who always checks for those signs and runs off if one is sighted.

Mind you the other week I got an electric shock from someone's doorbell, which I did think was excessive, a No Cold Calling sign would have been enough, honest...

Actually, if you are someone who doesn't want to be disturbed, please do put a sign up. I much prefer seeing the sign and moving on to having the door answered by someone who's clearly in the middle of something important, or was asleep or whatever and who therefore shouts at me.

In fact I think my next line of goods for sale could be a range of little 'Go Away' signs for doors...

I think your notice is great; heavily pregnant woman asleep sounds more scary than setting the dogs on them.