Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To insist that DH moves this stuff from the living room?

22 replies

TenDaysToFlorida · 14/04/2010 12:18

Every year DSD's grandmother buys her Beatrics Potter ornaments and DH displays them in an old fashioned wooden cabinet on the main living room wall. I hate them and although I know they are expensive and "collectables" I think they look tacky and are not the kind of thing a person under the age of 50 should have as a main feature on their living room wall.
Almost everything in the house is to DH's taste and a while ago I told him I was thinking of moving out as I feel I have absolutely no control over the house or what it looks like. He apologised and asked me what I'd like changed so I said my main issue is with the Beatrics Potter ornaments as I feel DSD should have them in her room, not as the main feature in the living room when one of the adults (rent payer etc) doesn't even like them. He agreed to move them but this was months ago and they're still there. I asked him yesterday when he was going to move them and he said "when DSD goes on holiday" which is another month away. AIBU to tell him I want them moved now?

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 14/04/2010 12:20

do it yourself?

put them in another 'room' maybe??

SoupDragon · 14/04/2010 12:21

Move them yourself?

FiveGoMadInDorset · 14/04/2010 12:21

Why can't you move them yourself?

nickschick · 14/04/2010 12:23

Shes your step daughter - does she like them there? how did they come to be there? were they there before you lived there?

I think sometimes you have to pick your fights and beatrix potter is not worth fighting over.

Convince dsd that the figures are better in her room- but in a nice way.

You cant leave cos of jemima puddleduck .

saslou · 14/04/2010 12:23

I would just get on with changing things as I wanted to. Just put them in DSD room and be done with it.

tethersend · 14/04/2010 12:24

Time to start dusting clumsily

nickschick · 14/04/2010 12:25

tethersend thats very naughty but I was gonna suggest that too .

Original poster

TenDaysToFlorida · 14/04/2010 12:29

I don't know, I'm "scared" if his reaction. god that sounds awful doesn't it? They were there before I moved in but they're hisdeous, honestly. I nice picture would look lovely there and really brighten up the room. I feel like I'm not "allowed" to move them because it was their house first.

OP posts:

nickschick · 14/04/2010 12:34

Thats awkward for you Flori - cant you help dsd make room for her 'beautiful' stuff in her own room?.

Or maybe start a hideous collection yourself....like trolls or pig trotters or something ....

Original poster

TenDaysToFlorida · 14/04/2010 12:40

There's nowhere for my stuff to go. His stuff is just everwhere from egyption ornaments to the beatrics potter stuff. The house has nothing of my personality in it at all and I've been here years now.

OP posts:

nickschick · 14/04/2010 12:48

flori - tasteful .

I dunno - maybe suggest a housemove?? or drop some petrol and a match???

AMumInScotland · 14/04/2010 12:49

It sounds like you need to have a proper conversation with him about how you don't feel it's a family house but still very much his house. Hopefully he'll understand and you can then agree to rearrange things so that some of your stuff comes out of boxes, and some of his gets put away. I don't like his suggestion that he'll move DSDs things while she's away - I think it would be better to agree with her to move them into her room, and give her a say in where they go. That way it won't be behind her back.

oldraver · 14/04/2010 12:53

Pack all the ornaments up, tell him you've 'helped' him do the first part, you just need him to relocate the cabinet

EndangeredSpecies · 14/04/2010 12:53

Just seen your other thread. This is a trickle that's going to turn into a full-scale flood very soon. I hope your dh has got his mack on.

The fact he's asked you what you'd like changed is a start, but he's obviously the type who conveniently forgets to deal with difficult things. Just move the potter ornaments, yanbu

Original poster

TenDaysToFlorida · 14/04/2010 13:01

Be honest, would anyone else have potter ornaments displayed in a living room?
It's not just that but he has dragon ornaments in the bedroom which I hate but I've compromised on them by having them at one side of the mantal piece and having my Buddhas at the other. So it's not as if I'M a control freak, I just want SOME control.

OP posts:

nickschick · 14/04/2010 13:04

I do like beatrix potter but then again I collect fairies .

but

I 'get' why your upset.

twolittlemonkeys · 14/04/2010 13:05

YANBU, though as your DSD was there first you have to tread carefully. But am I right in thinking you have another post at the moment about your DP trying to control what degree you study? If so then maybe his refusal to move ornaments to accommodate your things is indicative of a deeper lying problem.

Portofino · 14/04/2010 13:10

I think we have been here before actually! My advice would be to move them to the box room.

notanumber · 14/04/2010 13:19

I'd move your focus from the ornaments and concentrate on the room as a whole. After all, DSD may well be upset if it's just her things that are moved.

Can't you just reserve this weekend to revamp the whole living room? Repaint, move the furniture a bit, hang new pictures...and move the Jemima Puddleducks?

I mean, you've been there years you say. People do redecorate over that sort of timescale. It's not a wildly expensive task and it's not like you moved in last week and are systematically decimating DSD's family home.

DH doesn't have to do it on his own this way - I mean, you can flick a paintbrush about I assume? A little weekend project that you and DH can do together means that he can't procastinate over it and it'll will finally get sorted.

And DSD can't feel slighted if there's been a complete redecoration project rather than just her stuff being spirited away.

4littlelions · 14/04/2010 15:32

I think I know how you feel. Save me from another piece of Millwall memrobilia in the house. My bedroom and the bathroom are the only Millwall free rooms we have. I don't mind most of the time but some guests haven't liked it

Pikelit · 14/04/2010 16:29

Your DH isn't going to move these ornaments. If he was prepared to see them out of the living room then they'd have gone already. I know about living in previous marital homes and have learnt that some things are just not worth the grief they'll cause if you persist. I'm not saying this is right or acceptable but it can take a good few years before you actually find yourself living somewhere that reflects you as much as it does the other inhabitants. I don't know how old your DSD is but there will certainly come a time when the ornaments have to go somewhere with her!

PS. Although I'm beginning to get seriously irritated by the suggestion that people of 50 have left their taste and discernment in the same place as their aged brains! Trust me, I do not have a fucking cabinet full of Mrs Fucking Tiggywinkles!

Longtalljosie · 14/04/2010 16:36

I did wonder, Portofino...

Flip