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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...or was he? (Dog walking)

58 replies

HarderToKidnap · 13/04/2010 23:02

Me and dog in park yesterday, we go quite late when it is quieter.

Only saw one other person, who was walking a massive muzzled dog on a lead. My dog is a titchy toy dog.

When we saw them, my dog started running towards them. Immediately this guy started shouting "call your dog off!! CALL IT OFF!!!" My dog was still about twenty feet away and was ambling, and I knew full well it would stop within about ten feet unless invited by the other dog to come closer. So I called my dog and he stopped. I went over and put him on the lead. Then got a mouthful from the guy about how I should not allow my dog to frighten other dogs by running up and that I would have ruined his dog's walk and "she will be useless now" (his dog was going mental, baying and howling).

I felt/feel bad but not sure if I should. After all my dog did not go very close, stopped when told to and did not display any aggressive behaviour at all. And tbh, before Mumsnet I wouldn't have thought twice about it, but dog owners are judged so strictly on here I am second guessing myself all the time! After all, surely the whole point of a walk is for dogs to meet and chat with each other? So it's understandable my dog may approach other dogs?

OP posts:

owlsa · 13/04/2010 23:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bellasformerfriend · 13/04/2010 23:08

Harder, the sane dog owners amongst us believe that well socialised and happy dogs are the aim of the game, however there is a faction (ok it seems like a very large faction sometimes) who are firmly of the opinion that the only way to deal with a new dog is to pick up/pull away/shout or otherwise make the situation very stressful until they go away. IMO (and I am generalising here) these are often the people who have inadequte control over their dogs and refuse to employ a poo-picker.

In short, if you have behaved reasonably and the other person behaved like a loon then, in dog walking as in any other area of life, you need to hold your head high and leave them to it

Although I would say that you should call your dog in as soon as you see a muzzled dog simply for its own safety, a determined dog can get through a muzzle in a matter of seconds.

JaynieB · 13/04/2010 23:10

Any problems that dog has won't be helped by its owner showing lots of stress and shouting either.
I try not to let my dog approach others as she's a pain in the a**e - but not aggressive, just a bit 'in your face'.
I don't think you did anything wrong. But I do think its better manners to discourage your dog from approaching others, but ideally doing this by simply being more interesting to your dog so it stays with you. (I am obviously not interesting enough to keep my owns dogs attention btw)

aconfusedmum · 13/04/2010 23:12

maybe your dog should have been on a lead?

cupcakesandbunting · 13/04/2010 23:13

YABU.

The other dog walker didn't know what your dog was going to do, much like the dog owner who let his massive mutt bound over to my 3 y/o last week whilst I froze in horror. "He wouldn't have done anything, love" the owner said. Well, I didn't bloody know! This is for a whole different thread but the point I'm making is YOU knew your dog wouldn't approach the other dog but how was the dog owner to know. he probably shouldn't have acted like a deranged muppet but still...

Vallhala · 13/04/2010 23:14

Ummmm... half and half here. IMO you did nothing wrong. Your dog is not aggressive and has good recall and did as he was told. By the same token the other dog seems to have issues but to credit it's owner it was leaded and muzzled. What I don't understand is the comment that the other dog will be "useless now". Useless for what or to whom?

As far as I see it a friendly, well trained dog such as yours has every right to be off lead in a suitable place, equally a not so friendly dog should be leaded and/or muzzled as appropriate, and both occurred in your case. The other owner is just odd!

JaynieB · 13/04/2010 23:14

It is nice to be able to let your dog off the lead for a bit sometimes though. Mine certainly needs to be able to have a good run to burn off some energy - I'd have to walk for hours otherwise and I don't have the time!

cupcakesandbunting · 13/04/2010 23:15

Sorry just meant to say; shouldn't dogs be on leads in parks? I don't know if it applies to all parks but in my local parks, dogs must be on leads except for in the dog bog or else the owner can get fined £75.

GrimmaTheNome · 13/04/2010 23:15

It sounds like the big dog had some psychological problem with other dogs. In which case I'm not sure either of you was BU - your dog was behaving within normal well-balanced doggy parameters, his couldn't and he was being protective of it. You weren't to guess that big dog would be traumatised by not-very-close approach of little dog, and you did call your dog off effectively when asked (so he was BU to then bollock you)

GrimmaTheNome · 13/04/2010 23:17

No parks I know of have on-lead policy, just no dogs in the fenced play areas.

Prinpo · 13/04/2010 23:26

Mmm, tricky one. I speak as the current owner of a small and exceptionally friendly dog who, given half a chance, would bounce up to all and sundry for a good old play. I wish that the world was full of friendly dogs and relaxed owners who were equally happy to let their dogs play with mine. By and large, they're like kids - chuck 'em in together and let them sort out their own problems.

However, many years ago we had a large and not so friendly dog (a rescue dog) who, although lovely at home, could not be trusted with other dogs and people. We trained her well and she had a long and happy life but I would have felt edgy if a small dog had come running up to her, simply because I would have worried that she would have eaten it.

Round these parts, dog walking etiquette seems to be that dog off lead = dog happy to play whilst dog on lead = please keep your dog away from mine. I suppose that by having his dog on a lead this man was expecting that other dogs would not be allowed to run up to it. In fairness, he had no way of knowing that your dog would run up but stop 10 feet away, or that your dog would not be aggressive. I agree that he probably transmitted his stress to the dog but perhaps he knows his dog well and knew how important it was that your dog stayed away. His reaction was a tad dramatic but it may have been the result of a very justifiable anxiety.

KickArseQueen · 13/04/2010 23:26

I don't think you did anything wrong and i'n a bit by the "useless now" comment... It sounds like the dog was going to be working later or somthing, any idea what that was about???? v odd phrase to use....

Original poster

HarderToKidnap · 13/04/2010 23:38

I agree Prinpo, and if I could teach my dog that if another dog has something going from it's neck up into the sky then do not approach at all, even though you will stop anyway, but it is honestly just not that clever. Maybe a collie or a cocker spaniel could learn that but not my idiot dog. Another dog = approach and see if friendly, if so then play, if not then run back to mum and hide behined her legs. Trying to teach otherwise would be fruitless. I suppose I could be calling him back all the time but worried my call would lose it's power somehow? And as I know he will definitely not go bounding up and be in another dog's face then all that calling back is really for the benefit of other people feeling comforted, when if they waited two minutes they would see he is not going to come any closer than ten feet anyway.

OP posts:

violethill · 13/04/2010 23:46

Agree it's a bit of an unclear issue.

In this case, your dog was the smaller one, so it would seem less threatening, but what if the other dog had been smaller? Presumably your dog runs towards anything interesting, so it could have appeared more threatening in that situation.

Also, does it tend to run towards people? Again, a small dog with an adult may seem non threatening, but to a small child, any dog seems big.

Generally, I think it's best if owners can train their dogs not to run at other animals or people - it just isn't pleasant as you never know how an animal will react.

Bellasformerfriend · 13/04/2010 23:51

Harder, I do understand your last post but it is a bit "woe is me" tbh. It is your dog and you should control it, it is not actually up to other people to wait and see, it is up to you to present your dog in a reasonable way. It is not up to your dog to learn to recongise a muzzle, it is uo to you. If you see a muzzle you recall, if you see a dog on a lead then you recall, if not then it is reasonable to assume that the dog will be happy to play.

If your call seems to be losing its power then you should look at some recall tips to ensure this does not happen but it is not a good enough excuse to say I won't recal my dog incase it stops coming back!

Being honest you could say that the owner putting its dog on a lead is for the comfort of you - after all he knew it was muzzled didn't he? Yet it would have been unreasonable of him not to do it. We are all in the business of making each other comfortable as far as possible, it is part of civalised society. I am certain (as anyone can be) that my dog will not hurt a child in a park - but I would not let it appear to approach one - just to make the child/parent comfortable. It is all part and parcel of being a reasonable person!

BistoBear · 14/04/2010 00:04

I walk my dog off the lead but if I see another dog walker with their dog on a lead I will pop my dog's lead on straight away. That owner has their dog on a lead for a reason and it could be because their dog is either aggressive towards other dogs or they've had other dogs go for their dog. Either way, I'll always call my dog and pop him on his lead, saves any hassle. Most if not all dog owners up this way behave the same way.

ifancyashandy · 14/04/2010 09:39

We let our dog off the lead all the time in the park / beach (near where we live - it's a beach where dogs are allowed.). She is a smallish, bouncy, 'love / lick you to death' type dog who loves to meet and play with other dogs. But here's the thing - she is trained! If we call her, tell her to sit (close by or from a distance) or stay, she does. I wish other dog owners would treat their dogs the same. And while I appreciate that some may say you can't always predict a dogs behaviour, I have had dogs in my life all my life and each one has been the same. We've never had a dog involved in a fight - with human or other dog!

I would never let her off the lead inside a designated childs play area. However I absolutely would let her off in a big old park / field (where no farm animals) etc.

I do think parents have a duty (and include myself in this) to teach kids to treat dogs with respect. And by this I mean to be cautious and only approach with parent present.

Gets my goat that some people think all dogs should be on a lead all the time. Believe me, a p***d off dog who can't run off some energy would be far worse IMO!.

Trying4Baby1 · 14/04/2010 11:04

The rule I always follow is that if I'm approaching a dog that's on a lead then I put my dog on her lead. There's usually a reason the dog's on a lead in the first place! Even if your dog is the least agressive and best behaved dog in the world the other owner obviously has their reason to keep their dog on a lead so you should respect that.

My dog is friendly as hell (too much so) and loves other dogs but some dogs do not like other dogs and I would rather put her on lead for a couple of minutes than risk her getting hurt. I have no problem with her playing with other dogs who are off lead though!

brightyoungthing · 14/04/2010 11:14

When I was a kid my mum was walking our gorgeous large fluffy mongrel dog when a tiny jack Russell approached them and tried to literally kill our dog! My poor mum had the tip of her thumb bitten off by the jack Russell who was literally dangling off my mums hand by it's teeth 4 foot in the air. It was horrendous and after that she really did not appreciate strange dogs approaching her when she was out with our fluffy wonder and could well have gone mental at the owner if one did. Maybe the mental man in the park experienced something similar? Also, why are tiny dogs so ballsy bless them? They all seem to think they're 10 foot tall

claw3 · 14/04/2010 11:17

The other dog was muzzled and on lead for a reason. You shouldnt let your dog approach another dog who is muzzled and on a lead and defenseless, no matter how big it is.

BuzzingNoise · 14/04/2010 11:17

He was being sensible in having his dog on a lead and muzzled, as it sounds like the dog obviously has problems with other dogs.
However, you did nothing wrong. Your dog listened to you and didn't get too close, so the man's tirade was unnecessary.
Rest assured that he went home cursing that his dog isn't as well trained as yours is (and, believe me, I know how he feels).

ShinyAndNew · 14/04/2010 11:19

YABU. You should never let an unleashed dog approach one on a leash. the fact that his dog was muzzled would suggest that it was dog or people aggressive.

claw3 · 14/04/2010 11:24

Brightyoung, I had a similar experience with my massive German Shepherd when he was alive.

Little dogs who came over for a 'sniff' and to 'play' hanging off of his neck. Then owners saying 'oh little so and so is usually very friendly' Little dog syndrome kicks in!

Ripeberry · 14/04/2010 11:50

In public spaces dogs should be on a lead IMHO. We do a lot of walking as a familly and many times we have come accross a dog who is miles ahead of its owner and just stands in the middle of the path growling at us.
I always carry a stick and will hit the mutt if it does not move out of the way.
Had a bad experience years ago, whilst walking my grandad's dog. Another dog (no owner in sight), just would not leave our dog alone and kept following us growling and attacking our dog.
Can't the OP get one of those very long leads?

SlartyBartFast · 14/04/2010 12:00

like dog like owner i think.

although i think you shouldmt have let your ickle dog run up to a dog on a lead, he was unecesary shouting at you.

i was in the park with my jack russell, who had to be kept on a lead,due to not coming back, not always liking other dogs, etc., a woman's dog kept running up to her, my dog didnt like it, her dog wouldnt pay any attention to its owner. , silly dog, i said keep your dog away, she said, dogs are like their owners so i agreed, silly dog, silly owner.

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